Monday 5 June 2017

Fight racism, ageism and discrimination against gay not-rainbow cakes

Read any good books lately?

Uh… does Facebook count?

Well, it should. Last week, because of Facebook, I learned about issues of racism, ageism and foodism.

No, I didn’t make up that last word.

Unlike "covfefe", "foodism" is a legit word in the Oxford English Dictionary along with "aiyah" and "aiyoh".

As in, aiyoh, did you read what happened to that Indian actor who complained on Facebook about being asked to speak like "a full-blown Indian man" during an audition for the Ah Boys To Men movie sequel (yes, another one)?

Mr Shrey Bhargava’s Facebook post went viral and many people supported him, but many also whacked him worse than critics whacking the Ah Boys To Men movies.

Things escalated quickly when he was questioned by the police at Tanglin Police Division on Wednesday because someone made a police report.

Yes, someone actually made a police report over this because, you know, Singaporeans.

But the police said they have "assessed that no criminal offence was disclosed" and they "will not be conducting further investigations in relation to the case".

Yah lor, the police have better things to do.

Like investigating unattended bags at the MRT station left by two dudes who had to go answer the call of nature.

At least Mr Bhargava wasn’t called "sick in the head", "self-centred" and "smug" by Home Affairs and Law Minister K. Shanmugam because of his Facebook post.

That was what happened to a Mr Thomas Chua who wrote a "gloating post" about the death of a Traffic Police officer and angered Mr Shanmugam so much that the minister identified Mr Chua by name and posted his picture on the minister’s official Facebook page.

I’m not sure which is worse — being questioned by the police or being shamed by the Minister of Home Affairs and Law on social media.

At least Mr Bhargava is still on Facebook whereas Mr Chua isn’t. The latter is too busy getting arrested for shoplifting.

Also, Mr Bhargava, 22, is still young and has a whole career ahead of him unlike, say, 70-year-old TV actress Jin Yinji.

In a newspaper interview, she said she was shown no respect during contract talks with Mediacorp last year and has since left the company.

I wonder if she was asked to speak like a full-blown Chinese woman.

Probably not. Nowadays, it seems only Jack Neo is asked to do that.

When he’s not busy perpetuating racial stereotypes, the director of the Ah Boys To Men movies also cross-dresses as Liang Ximei in Happy Can Already!, a Hokkien TV series promoted by the Government.

Speaking of questionable sexuality, I also read on Facebook that multi-coloured cake is gay.

On Tuesday, someone posted on the "We are against Pinkdot in Singapore" Facebook group:
"Went to another of those ‘young punk’ cafes that are sprouting all over our island, and again saw all these so-called ‘rainbow cakes’.

"I always protest to my ignorant young cousins, these are not rainbow cakes. Rainbow has seven colours.

"These are gay cakes. Nothing wrong with a gay cake, sure, but please call a spade a spade.

"Stop covering up gay agenda. Now."

The post went viral last week too. Before long, there will be erections of barricades around these baked goods and only Singaporeans and permanent residents will be allowed to enjoy them.

In Taiwan, the law would be changed to allow these cakes to marry each other.

After all, they didn’t choose to be gay. They were baked that way.

Hey, isn’t that a Lady Agar Agar song?

If you want to be outraged by food, it should be cheese tea. I mean, what the hell is it? Do you drink it or dip nachos in it?

For just as we should guard against racism and ageism, we should also not discriminate against so-called "rainbow cake" with colours in numbers other than seven because that’s homophobia.

Or is it foodism?

If I post that on Facebook, please don’t make a police report, okay?

- Published in The New Paper, 5 June 2017