Shellshocked by Mr Donald Trump winning the US presidential election four years ago, I found out someone I knew actually voted for him and tried to understand why she did for my column.
Below is our online conversation:
That was in 2016.
After four years of the Trump presidency, I wondered who she voted for last week.
Her answer surprised and disappointed me.
So she has become so disillusioned she didn't vote for anyone.
Well, at least she finally recognises that the man she once voted for is an "arrogant ass".
Bored with the same old same old race routes in Singapore, I was enticed to sign up for the International Bintan Marathon, joining the half category, of course.
Fortunately, my wife gave me permission and went with me.
This was the first time I took part in an overseas race since the North Korean marathon two years ago. At least Bintan has never threatened anyone with nuclear annihilation, right?
I arrived by ferry on Saturday afternoon to collect the race pack which included two packets of Indomie.
The place was pretty dead. I guess it’s for travellers looking for peace and quiet because it was really peaceful and quiet, depressingly so for me.
My hotel, Grand Lagoi, was right next to the starting line, which was very convenient. I just went downstairs and there it was.
Flag-off for the full marathon was a few minutes past 5am (6am Singapore time) Sunday after the Indonesia national anthem. The half was half an hour later.
With only about 1,300 runners from 33 countries, it wasn't a particularly huge event. I saw a few people I know from Singapore.
I was a bit concerned about the heat because of the late start (Army Half Marathon flag-off was 4.30am Singapore time), but the weather thankfully turned out to be quite cool for most of the race.
The distance markers were placed 2km apart instead of the usual 1km. I actually preferred this because I felt a greater sense of achievement every time I see a sign as opposed to "Oh my god, I ran so much and it was only one kilometre?!"
It wasn't a very scenic route as most of it was just a long stretch of road flanked by forest. A trail race could be more interesting.
There were deceptively gentle slopes that sapped your energy without you realising it.
Hydration points were aplenty. I've now developed a racing strategy (if you can call it that) where I start drinking only after the 10km mark when my pace starts slowing down to the point where feeling bloated from the liquid sloshing around in my stomach can't slow me down much more.
These two women (presumably Kenyan) just blew past me.
U-turning near the ferry terminal.
More endless road.
The Pocari and cold sponge were a welcome relief.
One last drink by the lake before the final stretch.
While Bintan might not be my idea of a holiday destination, the race was worth the trip. It was well-organised enough with nice little extras and a friendly, almost intimate, atmosphere.
I also came close to my personal best time so I'm happy.
Knowing I had a breakfast buffet waiting for me at the hotel afterwards was a great motivator I never had before.
Her Storminess
Stephanie Clifford (aka Stormy Daniels)
Three-time F.A.M.E. (Fans of Adult Media and Entertainment) Award winner for Favourite Breasts
Dear Ms Clifford,
I greatly appreciate your time, patience, and effort with respect to my recent request that you don’t get President Donald Trump impeached before the summit between the US and North Korea, which was scheduled to take place on June 12 in Singapore.
I was informed on Thursday that the meeting was cancelled by Mr Trump in a letter to Mr Kim Jong Un.
But that to me is totally irrelevant because on Saturday, Mr Trump tweeted:
“We are having very productive talks about reinstating the Summit which, if it does happen, will likely remain in Singapore on the same date, June 12, and, if necessary, will be extended beyond that date.”
There’s still hope. Fingers crossed.
Although I understand that some Singaporeans were relieved when they first heard news of the cancellation.
And groaned again when it was reported that the White House was still sending a team here to prepare for the summit.
It’s like this year’s National Day Parade organisers. They can’t decide whether they want a new National Day song or not. So we have half a new song instead.
But even if the summit doesn’t happen, I still want something to remember these few weeks of will-they-won’t-they by.
That was why I went to the White House Gift Shop website to order the commemorative summit coin featuring “raised silhouettes of President Donald J. Trump and North Korea's Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un”.
The “Deal of the Day Price” is US$19.95, down from the regular price of US$24.95. I even managed to find a 10 per cent-off coupon code which saved me another two bucks
But I balked when I saw that shipping to Singapore costs US$60.50. That’s more than three times the cost of the coin itself!
I’m not a “billionaire” like Mr Trump, you know?
I was very much looking forward to you being here in Singapore with me.
Sadly, based on the tremendous uncertainty and open dithering displayed in your President’s most recent statement, I feel it is inappropriate, at this time, to have your long-planned visit to Singapore.
The thing is, even if you don't get Mr Trump impeached before June 12, the summit could still be called off.
Therefore, please let this letter serve to represent that your visit to Singapore, to the detriment of both parties, but for the good of my marriage, will not take place.
You talk about spanking Mr Trump with a rolled-up copy of Forbes magazine with his picture on the cover, but our caning is so massive and powerful that I pray to God it will never have to be used on me. Ask Michael Fay.
I felt a wonderful dialogue was building up between you and me, and ultimately, it is only that dialogue that matters. Someday, I look very much forward to meeting you as well as Thunder and Lightning.
In the meantime, I want to thank you for the release of your movies even though we in Singapore aren’t allowed to see them. That was a beautiful gesture and was very much appreciated.
If I change my mind having to do with this most important visit, I will not hesitate to call you or write. Singapore, and myself in particular, has lost a great opportunity to see Your Storminess in the flesh.
This missed opportunity is a truly sad moment in history.
Your surprise appearance on Saturday Night Live a week ago was a hoot. Maybe two.
In the SNL sketch, US President Donald Trump (played by Alec Baldwin) asked you over the phone: “What do you need for all this to go away?”
You (played by you) replied: “A resignation.”
Who did you think you were talking to? Then-Malaysian prime minister Najib Razak?
I know you and Mr Trump have a complicated history.
His lawyer admitted to paying you US$130,000 not to talk about your alleged 2006 affair with Mr Trump.
You claimed you once spanked him with a magazine with him on the cover.
And you’re the one suing him for defamation.
Is it me or are you trying to bring down the President of the United States?
Which is your prerogative.
But can you just do me one favour?
If you do bring down President Trump, can you do it after June 12?
Wait a month. Please?
You see, five days after your SNL appearance, Mr Trump tweeted that he is meeting North Korean leader Kim Jong Un in Singapore on that date.
Many of us Singaporeans are really excited about it. Our country hasn’t been in the international spotlight like this since, uh... the Crazy Rich Asians trailer?
We have not been this hyped for an American visiting our little island since Robert Downey Jr.
He is Iron Man, you know.
And just like in Avengers: Infinity War, nothing less than the fate of half the universe – or at least the Korean peninsula – is at stake.
You don’t want to be Thanos, do you? (Spoiler: He killed a lot of people.)
Personally, I am more psyched that Mr Kim is coming to Singapore.
I went to North Korea two years ago just to get a haircut like his – and I haven’t cut my hair since.
My hair has grown so long and unsightly that my wife is now begging me to cut it. And in honour of Rocket Man’s visit, I may actually do it.
But if you get Mr Trump’s resignation (like you said you wanted on SNL) before June 12, the meeting could be called off and Mr Kim wouldn’t be coming, which means no haircut.
You don’t want to disappoint my wife, do you?
In return, I would offer to buy all the movies you directed – except that I don’t think they are allowed in Singapore. (Though spanking is.)
Instead, I would like to invite you to the Lion City as my guest.
On Friday, former White House official K.T. McFarland, who was picked by President Donald Trump to be the US ambassador to Singapore, withdrew from consideration for the job.
Three days earlier, Singapore was ranked second to last in Time Out London magazine’s list of the 32 “most exciting cities in the world right now”.
Coincidence?
I mean, why would Ms McFarland want to be posted to a country that is less exciting than the city where she works – Washington, DC, ranked 23rd on the list?
It has been 13 months since Mr Kirk Wagar, the previous US ambassador to Singapore, resigned in January last year. Thanks to Time Out, Singapore could be without a US ambassador for juuuuust a bit longer.
Personally, I’m okay with Singapore not being too exciting. Excitement is overrated.
You know what the most exciting city on Time Out’s list is?
Chicago.
Didn’t President Trump recently say that last year, “a person was shot in Chicago every three hours”?
I believe Mr Trump is someone who never gets his facts wrong.
No, wait. According to the Chicago Tribune, Mr Trump was mistaken. Is that possible?
The newspaper said that one person was actually shot every two hours and 25 minutes.
So it’s worse than Mr Trump said.
I don’t know about you, but I would rather be in an unexciting city than a city where I get shot every two hours and 25 minutes.
That’s a little too much excitement.
But I understand that being ranked the 31st most exciting city in the world isn’t exactly a good thing for Singapore’s tourism industry despite the lack of people getting shot on a 2½-hourly basis here.
So I was glad at first that the Singapore Tourism Board (STB) responded to the Time Out list.
What shocked me was that STB actually agreed with the magazine!
This is what was posted on the Visit Singapore Facebook page on Thursday: “Yeah, Time Out London, we’re pretty ‘unexciting’. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”
I couldn’t believe it.
Isn’t STB supposed to promote Singapore as a tourist destination? Conceding that Singapore is pretty “unexciting” with a shrug emoji is not promoting Singapore as a tourist destination.
What’s worse is that STB also posted a video disparaging our country.
Brace yourself. This is what it says in the video:
“Yeah, Singapore is boring.There is nothing exciting to do. Nightlife is underwhelming. Everything is concrete. There is no art and culture. Everything is so expensive. Could we be any more boring?”
This is outrageous.
Even Time Out didn’t call Singapore boring. It just said the city is the 31st most exciting. And that’s out of the thousands of cities in the world. If there is a Casey Kasem top 40 countdown for exciting cities, we would be on it.
But in the video, STB calls Singapore boring – twice. It doesn’t even mention the lack of people getting shot.
What tourist would visit our wonderful city-state now?
You have one job, STB!
Why isn’t there a greater uproar over this?
Huh?
What do you mean it’s sarcasm?
Yes, I know what sarcasm is.
Ohhhhh, you mean the video is actually saying the opposite of what it actually says?
So STB doesn’t really agree with Time Out that Singapore is pretty “unexciting”?
Okay, that makes more sense.
I get it now, even though I don’t use sarcasm myself because some dummy might not realise you’re being sarcastic and take you literally.
That’s how fake news gets started.
Who knows?
Thanks to the STB video, someone might actually want to be ambassador to Singapore.
So she has become so disillusioned she didn't vote for anyone.
