No, Gurmit Singh wasn't driving his Lambo when he was caught speeding at 131kmh

Well, in the Get Your Shot, Steady Pom Pi Pi video, he did say “faster go and vaccinate”.

But perhaps not 131kmh fast.

Yes, that was the speed Gurmit Singh was caught driving at on that fateful April 12 night along Woodlands Avenue 12.



Fastest in Singapore and JB, and some say Batam?

At least he was not naked (presumably), unlike another road user who was arrested by police last week for riding a motorcycle without a helmet – or any clothes.

Even worse, no mask.



The naked guy has since been remanded at the Institute of Mental Health.

As for Singh, he was fined $800 last week and banned from driving for three months. He apologised on Instagram for what he did and said: “I hope to do better.”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Gurmit singh (@gurmit.65)

If he was speeding, he must have been driving his Lamborghini, right?

After all, if the man who plays Phua Chu Kang is famous for anything else besides playing Phua Chu Kang, it’s owning a Lambo.

It’s like Ann Kok and that iconic see-through top she wore at the 1996 Star Awards. People still talk about it.

Whether she likes it or not.

The Lambo is Singh’s see-through top.

It all kind of started in July 2011 when The New Paper reported: “After a local magazine published in May a picture of his Lamborghini Gallardo that he bought last December, he has been called ‘arrogant’, even by a friend.”

Singh told TNP:

“I was very saddened by that remark. It’s very easy for people to jump on the wrong idea or label me as ‘hao lian’. I don’t like to be seen as pushing it in your face like, ‘Oh, look at how successful I am.’ People see me driving the car, but they don't have to announce it to the world.”

He later explained to another publication:

“Once I got (the car), I started sharing with a few friends and by the time I shared with my sixth or seventh friend, one person said, ‘So show-off.’

“I went, ‘No, I’m just sharing happy news, I want you to be happy for me that this guy from a poor Punjabi family who slept on the floor for all his life now drives a Lamborghini.’”

He sold the car after two years. It may be gone but not forgotten.

In 2017, a CNA reporter interviewed Singh and wrote: “This is when I decide to discuss the Lamborghini, a car he owned a few years ago when Mediacorp was still at Caldecott Hill.

“My newsroom used to be close to the open-air carpark and the roar of the engine signalling his comings and goings would penetrate the walls. Publicly, he was called a show-off.

“When I raise this, I sense his struggle to hide how such talk perturbs him.”

Singh told the reporter:

“I know you guys in the compound could hear the Lamborghini. I didn’t do it on purpose. It’s just how the engine is. I wasn’t trying to show off. I wasn’t pressing the accelerator.



“To me, it’s not about materialism. I understand what’s been put into it – the effort and the blood, sweat and all that. It’s not just superficial. It’s like driving the Batmobile.

“It’s like people who buy handbags… I don’t get it. But I know they do. So I respect that.”

More recently in 2019, during the Not Again Podcast with Gary Tan, the subject came up again, but it was a less defensive conversation.

Singh raved about his Italian supercar to the interviewer:

“It was great having a Lamborghini for two years. I drove it every day. It’s my favourite car of all time. Love it to pieces.

“I love it so much that one day when my wife said, ‘Get, we have to get toilet paper.’ I said, ‘Okay, I’ll go buy.’

“We have the family car and we have the Lamborghini, right? And I took the Lamborghini, drove to the supermarket, bought the roll of toilet paper, came back.

“She said, ‘Did you just drive all the way just to buy toilet paper?’ I said, ‘Yes, what’s wrong with that?’

“And then I asked her, ‘Do you want to buy anything else? I can buy it. Item by item, please.’ She said no! That’s how much I love the car.”

He added:

“I’m a simple guy, you know. I love Lamborghinis, but I’m a simple guy. A simple Lamborghini guy. It’s a contradiction, I know. Oxymoron.”

In the same podcast, Singh reminisced about how he first fell in lust with the vehicle:

“When I was a little boy, I watched Tom Selleck in Magnum PI, a detective show. And he would drive a Ferrari. I said, ‘What a great car!’



“So fast forward, when I was able to rent a Ferrari for the weekend, I drove it. I was so happy… I couldn’t afford one yet. So I thought I’d rent it.”

Then he spotted a Lambo.

“Oh, there’s a Lamborghini as well. So I went to rent a Lamborghini. I tell you, when I sat in a Lamborghini, without even turning the engine on first, I already felt it was way better than Ferrari. It felt like a jet. I felt like Batman.

“And when I turned on the engine and sat that low, and I drove it with that low throttle sound – my goodness, my hair all stood up. Hair that I didn’t know I had all came up and said, ‘Hello! Hello!’

“Hallelujah.”

He might have just described what’s called a cargasm.



Also in 2019, he told 8 Days: “Till this day, I’m still missing my Lamborghini!”

But he can no longer afford one after an “epic reduction in salary” when he ended his full-time contract with Mediacorp in 2014 after 20 years.



So if Singh was not driving his Lambo, what car was he caught speeding in?

According to The Straits Times, he was “believed to be” driving an Audi A8 L.



Sure, apart from the “flapping sound” Singh claimed the car made, the Audi luxury sedan is okay.

But it’s no Batmobile like the Lambo.

Who knows? If he makes many more of those Covid-19 videos for our Government as the pandemic drags on, he may be able to afford the Bull again.

Hallelujah.

- Published in The New Paper, 14 June 2021

What colour is the Circle Line? No, Virginia, the Circle Line is not yellow (or a circle)

Dear Minister of Transport,

Sorry to bother you.

I know you’re busy taking selfies in front of the Covid-19 vaccine transport plane.



But there’s an urgent issue regarding our national Mass Rapid Transit (MRT) system that needs your immediate attention as it’s tearing our country – and my family – apart.

Is the Circle Line yellow or orange?

It looks orangish on the map to me, but my daughter has always called it the yellow line. My wife knows it only as the Circle Line. My son doesn’t care.

Yes, it’s like #dressgate and Yanny/Laurel all over again, but this time, it’s hitting close to home, although I actually live closer to the North-South Line.

In a recent Twitter poll I found, 74 per cent say the Circle Line is yellow and 26 per cent say orange.

THE CIRCLE LINE IS

— VAL (@XxLonelyGalxX) December 18, 2020

If this were an election, yellow would be president now and Coldplay would be playing the national anthem.



But orange has refused to concede and is officially backed by the Land Transport Authority (LTA).

Last year, responding to a query about the colour of the Circle Line, LTA replied in an e-mail: “Pleased to share that Circle Line colour is orange. The tone/shade may vary on different elements such as vinyl sticker, printed on paper or silkscreen… illuminated signs.”



But confusingly, SMRT Corporation has referred to the Circle Line as “yellow line” in a bunch of 2012 tweets.

However, SMRT appears to have recently changed its tune, or at least its colour perception.

Last week, replying to a query, someone in SMRT customer relations wrote in an e-mail: “We wish to share that SMRT Circle Line is orange in colour.”

A screenshot of the reply has been circulating online since, plunging our nation into a bitter colour war.

People are beating up each other black and blue over the yellow and orange at Boat Quay and Clarke Quay.



Some took the opportunity in the hue and cry to vent long pent-up resentment against the Circle Line for not being an actual circle in real life no matter how the authorities draw it on the map.

Fake news! They’re lying to us about the Circle Line being orange just like they’re lying to us about it being circular.



So I don’t know how many were persuaded by LTA’s response on Christmas Eve to a Mothership article wondering whether the Circle Line is yellow or orange.

LTA posted an orange dot with the comment: “‘Orange’ you glad we've cleared this up.”

🟠 “Orange” you glad we’ve cleared this up? 😎

Besides its colour, #DoYouKnow that construction works for the 30-station #CCL took place in challenging soil conditions, a maze of underground structures, and under a densely packed surface of roads, expressways & buildings? 😉 https://t.co/pypxo8M3SO

— LTA (@LTAsg) December 24, 2020

A Christmas miracle it wasn’t. Peace on earth wasn’t achieved. The pun didn’t help.

My daughter, for one, remains unmoved. She’s part of the younger generation who grew up memorising the MRT lines as yellow line, red line, green line and blue line.

Whereas to her mother and me, they’re the Circle Line, North-South Line, East-West Line and Downtown Line respectively.

At least, we all agree on what to call the North-East Line – NEL. It’s just fun to say.

So for LTA and SMRT to declare that the Circle Line is not yellow, it’s like saying no, Virginia, there is no Santa Claus.



We all know what the truth is, but as a parent, I would like to hold off destroying that part of my daughter’s childhood for as long as I can, even though she’s already 21.

Could you, as Transport Minister, in the spirit of Christmas, override LTA and SMRT, and decree that the Circle Line is yellow?



Do it for the children.

2020 has already taken so much from all of us. Grant us this one thing to end the year on a brighter note. It would tickle us pink. Thank you.

Merry Christmas and happy new year, hopefully.

- Published in The New Paper, 28 December 2020

Why I wasn't among first five guys in line for opening of Five Guys: I blame Khaw Boon Wan

Dear Mr Khaw Boon Wan,

You like burgers?

Five Guys opened its first Singapore outlet in Plaza Singapura last Monday at 11am.

I wanted to be there. No, I had to be there.

I had missed the opening of Shake Shack at Jewel in April, and the queues were still too long even weeks later when I finally made my way there. So I have yet to try the burger at Shake Shack.

Five Guys was supposed to be the next Shake Shack. This time I would not be left out.



Expecting a long queue for the Five Guys opening, I set out from my Yew Tee home at 8.30am.

I might not be the first in line because I wasn’t going to start queueing at 4am, but my hope was that I could be at least among the first five guys. Get it?

Unfortunately, at that exact moment, there was no train service between Kranji and Bukit Gombak “due to a signalling fault”.

[NSL] UPDATE: Due to a signalling fault, there is no train svc btwn #Kranji and #BukitGombak. Free regular bus & free bridging bus svcs btwn #Kranji and #BukitGombak.

— SMRT Corporation (@SMRT_Singapore) December 16, 2019

After so many months with no major delays, why did SMRT have to break its streak on the most important day of my burger-eating life?

Most other commuters were just going to work. But I was on a once-in-an-eternity mission.

At first, I thought I must be the unluckiest man in the world.

I mean, the disruption could have been on the East-West Line. It could have been on the North-East Line. It could have been on the Circle Line. It could have been on the Downtown Line.

If the Thomson-East Coast Line were operating, it could have been on the Thomson-East Coast Line.

But no, it had to be on the North-South Line. Why? Because Yew Tee is on the North-South Line, and that is where I live.

It had to be more than just bad luck. It seemed like someone had it out for me. Who could it be?

But I persevered. I will not be foiled by our world-class transport system.

I decided to take a bus to Bukit Panjang, where I could take the Downtown Line to Little India and then take the North-East Line to Dhoby Ghaut.

But when I reached the bus stop, it was overcrowded because of the train breakdown.



Two buses went by without stopping. It was as if all of us waiting at the bus stop were invisible.

So I walked to another bus stop farther away that was less crowded to become visible again.

After I finally managed to get on a bus, I read on Twitter that SMRT had announced that the signalling fault had been rectified and train service was “progressively returning to normal”.

[NSL] UPDATE: The signalling fault on the North South Line has been rectified. Train service is progressively returning to normal. Free regular bus & free bridging bus svcs btwn #Kranji and #JurongEast are still available.

— SMRT Corporation (@SMRT_Singapore) December 16, 2019

No wonder the bus was emptier than I had expected.

Now I really felt like someone was toying with me.

Was this payback for all my past columns making fun of previous MRT disruptions?

Was it karma?

By the time I reached Plaza Singapura around 10am, a queue had formed outside Five Guys. About 20 people were ahead of me.



If not for the signalling fault and the two buses that wouldn’t stop, I could have been among the first five guys.

I blame you, Transport Minister.

You recently said our MRT is more reliable now, even comparing it with the Hong Kong MTR and Taiwan Metro. And that to maintain that reliability, we should expect to pay higher fares.



Where was that reliability when I needed it most?

Will there be a train delay on the day I want to queue for the opening of In-N-Out Burger if it comes to Singapore?

There better not be.

By the way, I took a selfie with the guy who was first in line at Five Guys.

His name is Ryan and he is a 14-year-old American student from United World College.

He started queueing at 4am. So it was too early for him take the train there. Lucky him.

I asked Ryan when the second person in the line showed up. He said 7am. We both laughed.

The kid queued for seven hours when it could have been just four. That made me feel less sorry for myself.

Was the food worth it? Ryan said yes.

I thought the burger was okay, but I really enjoyed the milkshake with bacon.

Hey, Transport Minister, if you make sure the MRT doesn’t break down again, I’ll even buy you one.

- Published in The New Paper, 23 December 2019

EARLIER: I queued up for opening of Five Guys and got the milkshake with bacon (and a free T-shirt!)

National Steps Challenge: Is this the real reason e-scooters are banned on footpaths?

Well, that was sudden.

Last Monday, the Government decreed that e-scooters would not be allowed on footpaths from the next day.

It’s not as if there were Select Committee on E-Scooters On Footpaths hearings where Law and Home Affairs Minister K. Shanmugam grilled a Foodpanda rider for six hours about Operation Coldstore. A Ban E-Scooters On Footpaths Bill wasn’t tabled in Parliament, debated, voted on and passed into law.

At least the Government prepared us for the fake news law that is the Protection from Online Falsehoods and Manipulation Act earlier this year.

Not so with this.

You know how when you look out for vehicles while crossing the road, expecting it to be safe when you reach the sidewalk, only to be surprised by a speeding e-scooter that almost hits you.

The banning of e-scooters on footpaths is like that e-scooter that almost hit you on the footpath – it sort of just came out of nowhere.

It is the e-scooter riders’ turn to be hit by something they didn’t see coming, and they’re not liking it.

That’s one thing millennials can’t dismiss with a glib “Okay, boomer.”



But why now? Why the short one-day notice?

When the new 10kmh speed limit for e-scooters was announced in September last year, it wasn’t implemented until five months later.

When the Government introduced UL2272 as the new standard for personal mobility devices (PMDs) in September last year because of all the PMD-related fires, PMD users originally had until the end of next year to comply. The deadline was later brought forward to next July, all of which seems rather pointless now.



So what’s the rush with the footpath ban?

Instead of an immediate ban with an advisory period until the end of the year, why not start the ban next year so that everyone has more time to adjust?

I have a theory.

The National Steps Challenge Season 5 started on Oct 26. Ten days later, we have the footpath ban.

Coincidence? Maybe not.



The National Steps Challenge is the Government’s attempt to get us off our asses and move around more by rewarding us for every step we take up to 10,000 a day.

The Government is even giving you a nifty Fitbit knock-off you can wear on your wrist to count your steps.

You could even take a picture with Pokemon at the mega roadshows where the free fitness trackers were distributed.



What is the point of the Government spending all that effort and taxpayers’ money to encourage you to get fitter by walking more if you are just going to scoot around on your damn e-scooter?

Or sit around waiting for your food to be delivered by e-scooter instead of using your own two feet to get your bubur cha cha or bubble tea with brown sugar or whatever?

People may also be afraid to go for a walk because they don’t want to get hit by Ah Boy on an e-scooter.

Having PMDs defeats the whole purpose of the National Steps Challenge, which lasts until April.

Ergo the timing of the ban.

It could also be because of the elderly cyclist who tragically died after colliding with an e-scooter in September.

And Tan Tock Seng Hospital reporting an alarming 70 per cent increase in PMD rider injuries in two years.

And the horrific viral video of a e-scooter rider crashing into a three-year-old girl in a Boon Lay void deck last month.

Perhaps the ban shouldn’t be so unexpected after all.

Is it too late to meet Pikachu?

- Published in The New Paper, 11 November 2019

Woman forced open MRT door because of 'autistic sister': 'Hoax' claim also a hoax?

Transport Minister Khaw Boon Wan said last week that commuters may have to wait longer for trains during off-peak hours.

He must be expecting more delays caused by desperate women forcing open doors in MRT stations and getting stuck between them.

That last part is not true. It’s my attempt at a joke. You know that – I hope.

I don’t want to be accused of spreading fake news. As Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong warned in his National Day Rally speech, POFMA will catch me.



Already too much fake news has been going around lately.

There was no ceiling collapse in Jewel Changi Airport or stabbing in Tampines Mall as alleged in a couple of viral videos.

There is no gang war in Yishun, although a man in Yishun was caught trying to steal a bra from a pole hanging outside a second-storey flat with an umbrella, which is unfortunately not fake news and probably more disturbing.



But the viral video of the woman forcing open the MRT doors at the Little India station is legit. We know that because SBS Transit confirmed that the incident happened last Monday at 3.30pm.



People criticised the woman for her anti-door behaviour.

Then a screengrab of a Reddit post by someone named “phong” started circulating.

It read:

“I know this auntie. While everyone here is blasting her, I thought I will provide some context for her actions.

“The lady who scurried into the train first? Her younger sister, who is autistic. Who has a history of wandering off and forgetting her way home.

“Hopefully you will begin to understand her motivations for trying so hard to board the train after her.”

Though it was unverified, many shared the post as fact and vilification turned into sympathy.



Then a Twitter user named EllieTay tweeted a whole thread to claim:

“She is my mother and regarding the story about her chasing her autistic sister is a hoax.”

She explained:

“What actually happened is that she and her friend were rushing to get home… (This was at the time where everyone is also getting home from work) and the MRT was packed with people, my mother’s friend got in first, with my mother from behind didn’t want to be left alone to wait for another train, barged forward and pried open the door which got her stuck.”

EllieTay added:

“When my mother and her friend arrived at their stop, they were approached by the SMRT staff for questioning. I was called in to pick up my mother and have talked to the staff, fortunately they are not asking for any compensation for the door, they only gave a warning to my mother to be more careful.”

So which account is true?

While a couple of websites have reported the tweets, they have not been as widely shared as the “autistic sister” post.

My guess is people are now wary that the tweets claiming that the earlier post was a hoax may be a hoax too. Once bitten, twice shy.



The funny thing is that you can see that reporters from The Straits Times, The New Paper and Channel NewsAsia have replied to the one of EllieTay’s tweets, asking her to get in touch with them, most likely to verify her claims.

Since the news outlets have yet to report the tweets, it’s safe to assume they have not been verified. Don’t want POFMA to catch them and all that.

Hi everyone, I am here to make an apology statement about the situtation. She is my mother and regarding the story about her chasing her autistic sister is a hoax. What actually happened is that she and her friend were rushing to get home. Part 1/?

— EllieTay (@EllieTay2) August 29, 2019

I find the tweets rather dubious myself.

First, EllieTay said the incident took place when everyone was “getting home from work”, but SBS Transit had said it happened at 3.30pm, which is not when most people leave work.

Second, she said “the MRT was packed with people”, but in the video, the train and the platform were not “packed” – since, you know, it was only 3.30pm.

Third, she said that “SMRT staff” approached her mother and friend for questioning, but the incident happened on the Downtown line, which is operated by SBS Transit, not SMRT.

Okay, maybe she got the two rail operators mixed up, which is understandable enough, but I doubt that the staff members could have so quickly identified and tracked down the mother and friend at a different station. That’s a lot of surveillance, coordination and running around just to give someone a warning.

Also, SBS Transit hasn’t said anything about having spoken to the passengers involved in the incident, which I believe it would if it did.

What do you believe?



What do you want to believe?

An auntie running after an autistic sister is a better story than a mother trying to catch up to a friend.

And that’s what makes fake news so seductive. It’s hard to resist sharing a good story.

Sometimes you wish the news was fake.

Like when the Transport Minister says you may have to wait longer for the train.

Hey, where’s my bra?

- Published in The New Paper, 2 September 2019

Gojek viral video saga vol. 2: 'Don’t make your problem to be my problem!'

Last week, Gojek announced that it is improving the welfare of its Singapore drivers by introducing a benefits programme called GoalBetter, which includes fuel rebates and prolonged medical leave insurance.

Just in time too because one Gojek driver who seems to really need improved welfare is Mr Aaron Heng, the social media villain of the week.



Remember the Gojek “kidnapping” video two months ago? This is like the sequel but with new characters. So maybe it should be called a “reboot” instead?

Anyway, the premise and format is the same. The driver fears the passenger is accusing him of cheating. So to protect himself, he records a vertical video of his interaction with the passenger and it goes viral.

This could be a new TV reality anthology series called Singapore Gojek Story or The Gojek Zone. Jordan Peele could host it.



The first episode is obviously called “Is it because I’m Chinese?”

The second episode can be called “I’m not a millionaire like you”.

The stars of this episode are Mr Heng and an elderly couple he picked up.

Once again, the video starts in medias res, meaning in the middle of the story, so you’re not shown what led up to the events in the video.

It appears that when the passenger made the booking, he thought the fare was $14.10, but after getting into Mr Heng’s car, he learnt it was $21.10 on Mr Heng’s app.

So Mr Heng pulled his car over as the passenger called Gojek for clarification.

Meanwhile, Mr Heng was unhappy that he was accused of overcharging and kept interjecting while the passenger was on the phone.

The driver said: “$7 you want to make an issue? You waste my time. Eh! You’re driving Mercedes one, is it?”

The passenger replied: “That’s none of your bloody business, please.”

The word “bloody” apparently got Mr Heng even more triggered. He told the passenger: “Please talk to me with respect.”

Probably because Mr Heng picked up the couple at a country club, he said, apropos of nothing: “I’m not a millionaire like you.”

A theme emerged when he later added: “I’m driving to earn the incentive, you know that? I don’t earn $2,000 a day, you know? The incentive is only $205 for your info, you know?”

The passenger eventually agreed to pay the $21 and said he would sort it out with Gojek later. Mr Heng was not happy about that either.

He said: “You know why? Because if you sort out with Gojek, Gojek will minus out the $7 from my account. Let me put it clear to you, anything it becomes driver problem. Always driver’s problem. That is the problem.”

“Then that is something you got to sort out with Gojek,” said the passenger.

The 6-minute plus video ends after the couple manage to convince Mr Heng to continue driving.



Like the Gojek “kidnap” video, Mr Heng’s video went viral. Unlike the earlier video, which garnered much support for the driver, Mr Heng’s video did the opposite.

Someone commented on Facebook: “Evil. No good heart! After all can talk nicely n be patient to settle but not act like hooligans lah. Completely a low-class driver!”

It wouldn’t be a surprise if someone threatened to egg him.

On Saturday, Mr Heng apologised on Facebook:

Hi. I am the driver in this video. I'm drive as a Private Hire Driver to earn a honest living to provide for my family. I've tried my hands in seeking other employment opportunity but to no avail.

I want to say I've got nothing against the elderly especially the poor and the aged. In fact, I just posted a post on how an elderly offered to buy a meal for a wheelchair person and I even went up offering to pay for his meal. They were like us and one day we will be like them. That's why I believe in helping them out if I can.

Story is like this. I picked this couple from a country club to his destination. Normally I would confirm with the rider on his destination and the amount to pay and to our surprise, we found out that there was a price discrepancy. I then told the rider that it showed $21.10 on my app while he said that he has to pay $14.10 although he refused to show me his app saying $14.10 (I asked couple of times). He suddenly got irritated and asked me to alight him immediately. For his own safety, I told him it's dangerous to abruptly stop in the middle of the road like that but he went on insisting to alight him. I obliged.

I managed to find a small road to enter to stop by the side wanting to alight him and to call GoJek to ask for instructions. I openly notified the couple that I am doing a recording just in case I am accused of overcharging the couple. I cannot afford to lose this job. I've mouths to feed.

Why I behave in such a manner is because I was accused of overcharging the passenger. I did not. It is the system. And what I said in the video was to say that I am just trying to hit my incentives as the fares are already low. The pressure is immense. The terms are challenging. I'm facing a lot of stress to meet the targets.

Lastly, I want to apologise for my behaviour as shown in the video as time is precious to us as a private hirer driver. I was unnecessarily rude. I was not respectful. I did not explain myself clearly. I pray for a chance to make good.

But his apology was about as well received as a rat in a Teochew restaurant.

One person commented: “What’s the point of coming up with this sob story? You are sorry cos u got caught.”

Mr Heng’s Facebook page is no longer available.

But here’s the big twist.

On Saturday, Mr Heng also made a police report. In it, he said that he sent the video to a WhatsApp group “asking for advice” and named the people in the chat group.



He seems to be implying that someone in the group made the video public, not him. This despite him telling the passenger in the video: “I’ll make it (the video) very big. Trust me, brother.”

Gojek has since said that the company looked into the case and had resolved the matter between the driver and his passengers.

By the way, under the company’s new GoalBetter programme, drivers who use their DBS or POSB debit cards to pay for fuel will also get a $7.50 weekly rebate if they spend at least $180 a week.

That’s how you can get your $7 back right there.

- Published in The New Paper, 1 April 2019

Go-Jek 'hostage' situation: Can you actually drive from Bishan to Coleman Street without paying ERP charges at 7am on a weekday?

The Go-Jek driver picked the passenger up from Block 251 Bishan Street 22 at about 7am on Tuesday and was heading towards Coleman Street.

The passenger wanted to avoid ERP charges. The driver said he didn't know how. The passenger didn't know either, but said she had taken the route "every morning".

She accused the driver of pretending not to know to cheat her.

And thus a viral sensation was born.



But can you actually drive from Bishan to Coleman Street on a weekday morning without paying ERP charges?

People seem to assume that because Coleman Street is in the CBD, you can’t.

I went to gothere.sg to find out and this was what I got:



I posted this route on Twitter and someone pointed out there are ERP gantries on Thomson Road and North Bridge Road on the route:

Thomson Rd have ERP39 ... NorthBridge Rd have ERP11

— pattay (@J0rdan_Dad) February 3, 2019

This is true. The Thomson Road gantry is near the Caldecott MRT station and the North Bridge Road one is near Bugis station.

But according to the One Motoring website, the Thomson Road gantry starts operating only at 7:30am on weekdays and the North Bridge Road one at 8am.

So based on this information, yes, you can.


EARLIER: Is this the reason she asked 'Is it because I'm Chinese?’

Go-Jek 'hostage' situation: Is this the reason she asked 'Is it because I'm Chinese?'

To answer the question that everyone is asking – no, it’s not because you’re Chinese.

It’s because everyone has been repeating the line from the Go-Jek “hostage” video since it went viral late last week. There are even music remixes now.



The joke is getting played out. Soon, it will be like saying “boomz” or “stunned like vegetable”.

And “stunned like vegetable” was how some people reacted to the behaviour of the woman passenger in the video who accused the Go-Jek driver of trying to cheat her and then kidnapping her, culminating with the “Is it because I’m Chinese?” line.



On Saturday, the driver, Mr Kamaruzzaman Abdul Latiff, who posted the video, thanked “everyone for the moral support” on Facebook.

The passenger, on the other hand, has received, let’s say, less support. She has reportedly removed her Facebook account and left the country for a holiday.

Online commenters have described her as “crazy” and “mentally disturbed”, which I think she is not and perpetuates the stigmatisation of mental illness.

Yes, she kinda over-reacted in the situation, but I can understand why she got so triggered.

Put yourself in her shoes and the backseat of the Go-Jek car.

Let’s say you have taken a ride to this place “every morning” and drivers gave you the option of going the faster way with Electronic Road Pricing (ERP) charges or “the way where there are no additional charges”.

Then one day, this driver says he doesn’t know the non-ERP way. Having little faith in humanity because of the HIV data leak, errant postmen and The Bachelor TV show, you assume the driver is trying to cheat you.

The trouble is, as someone who doesn’t drive, you also don’t know the way, just as you don’t know that car doors have an auto-lock system.

All you want is to get to Coleman Street (without paying for the ERP), but now you’re being driven to a Toa Payoh police station against your wishes. So you’re going to be a little out of sorts.



The video also shows Mr Kamaruzzaman speaking to an unseen male Certis Cisco officer in Malay, a language the passenger may not have been able to understand, which exacerbated her distress, making her feel like the two men were ganging up on her, a vulnerable lone woman auto-locked in a car against her will.

Thus when the Certis Cisco officer appeared to take the side of the driver by mansplaining the auto-lock system to her, I can see how she may have felt like she was being persecuted due to her race being different from the two men’s, resulting in her utterance of everyone’s favourite line from the video: “Is it because I’m Chinese?”



Within a day of the seven-minute video going viral, memes and parodies abound.



The Singapore Civil Defence Force jumped on the bandwagon with a post advising people not to call an ambulance for non-emergencies, adding: “Psst, our ambulance doors auto-lock for your own safety. So do not be unnecessarily alarmed. Please!”



Meanwhile, Caltex Singapore posted this seatbelt advisory: “Your cars may have auto-lock functions, but your seatbelts don’t. Remember to put on your seatbelts!”



Zansan Digital Lock posted: “Your cars may have auto-lock functions, but your homes don’t. Starting from $299, you can have this auto-lock feature for your house door too.”



And gaming computer company Asus Republic Of Gamers, of all things, promoted its laptop with the tagline: “When even laptop has auto-lock feature. #NotTakingYouHostage”



Even the Republic of Singapore Air Force posted something about “canopy auto-locks” yesterday.



Can we stop with the auto-lock already? It’s enough to make me almost miss the “Is it because I’m Chinese?” jokes.

I’m surprised Scoot and Ikea, who are usually so quick to capitalise on the latest viral sensation, haven’t posted their own spoof ads.

Have their social media managers gone on holiday too?

Is it because it’s Chinese New Year?

- Published in The New Paper, 4 February 2019




READ: Can you actually drive from Bishan to Coleman Street without paying ERP charges at 7am on weekday?

$1,500 bus stop bench? Ikea, Courts cheaper

Are you sitting down?

Apparently, a metal bench at a bus stop in Braddell Road is worth $1,500.

And it’s not even created by Banksy. (Or is it?)

I mean, that’s even more than the cash prize the Miss Bikini Universe Singapore winner gets, which is only $1,000.

The pageant organiser could just give her two thirds of a bus stop bench.



How do I know a metal bench at a bus stop in Braddell Road is worth $1,500?

Because The Straits Times reported last week that such a bench was stolen by Tan Ke Wei, who was sentenced to a seven-day short detention order for committing mischief and thereby causing damage or loss amounting to $500 and above.

Seat happens.



ST said the incident occurred in June last year near midnight when Tan was waiting for a bus.

Apparently, the bus took so long to arrive that Tan started “meddling” with the bolts that secured the bench and he managed to unscrew all eight with his fingers. He then wrapped the dismantled bench in a garbage bag and took a taxi home.

My question is, did he just conveniently happen to have a garbage bag with him?

Some people carry an umbrella in case it rains. I guess this fella carries a garbage bag in case he needs to wrap a bench he removed from a bus stop.

And did Tan take a taxi because he missed the last bus of the night, since it was already around midnight when he started unscrewing the bench?

The midnight surcharge must have cost him an arm and a leg, though probably not as much as the bench.

But why did he take the bench in the first place?

Tan reportedly “intended to renovate his new flat with a bus stop design concept”.

Wait. Did I miss an issue of Home & Decor?

Is public transport-themed interior design the latest thing along with plogging and flossing (the Fortnite dance, not cleaning between your teeth)?



Who doesn’t want to be reminded that they are too poor to afford a car even when they are at home?

After all, Potong Pasir MP Sitoh Yih Pin said last month:

“When you talk to the young, it appears to me it is becoming very fashionable not to drive so much, maybe not to even own a car, and to take public transport more, to take the trains more and to take the buses more, even to walk and to cycle.”

Call me Mr Fashionable then.



Actually, I wouldn’t mind renovating my flat with an MRT platform design concept if I can get one of those giant ceiling fans.

You’ll need an ez-link card to enter my flat.



But the biggest question of all is, how can a bus stop bench cost $1,500?

And I thought the new iPhones were overpriced.

With that kind of money, the hawkers at Jurong West Hawker Centre could pay for 7,500 returned trays at 20 cents each.

It didn’t help that after the ST report came out, both Ikea and Courts posted ads on Facebook promoting benches costing noticeably less than $1,500.





As if to rub it in Tan’s face, Ikea touted its $159 Industriell bench as “No dismantling required” and Courts said its $179 Callum dining bench “comes with no detention”.

Kick a fella when he’s down, why dontcha? I think those ads are a form of cyber-bullying.

But judging by the pictures of their benches in those ads, I find the Ikea and Courts offerings don’t quite capture the special essence of a place where I would wait for a bus and contemplate the meaning of my car-lite existence, if any.

So as enticing as the lack of dismantling and detention may be, it seems that if I really want to authentically recreate the grim ambience of a bus stop in my home, only a $1,500 bench will do.

Perhaps I can win the Miss Bikini Universe Singapore contest one and a half times.

- Published in The New Paper, 15 October 2018


Hi,

With regards to your article, I think the bigger concern we should be looking at is why are the taxpayers paying 1500 dollars for a bus bench?

Who is the company selling it? I’m sure if you do some proper digging, it will be all about ‘commission’ and lining certain people’s pocket.

Sent from Aedie's iPhone

Might as well walk: If e-scooters have a speed limit, why not joggers too?

They are the new public enemy No. 1.

No, I’m not talking about plastic straws.

Or smokers who are afraid they may soon not be allowed to have a puff in their own home.



Smokers are the old public enemy No. 1.

The new public enemy No. 1 is the e-scooter.

Not only have e-scooters sent people to hospital (and I don’t mean transporting them there), but they also have batteries that can catch fire and barbecue your home.



Hence, all the new safety regulations.

Then last week, I saw a comment on Facebook that offended me so much that it was all I could do not to make a police report.

Someone was commenting on a Straits Times video about the new law reducing the e-scooter speed limit from 15kmh to 10kmh on footpaths.



The comment was:

“I see people jogging at more than 10kmh at times. Can we restrict their jogging speed as well? Will be dangerous if they knock into people. Maybe we can have them wear helmets?”

What the what?

As a runner (not the loanshark kind), I was triggered.

In the first place, if your speed is more than 10kmh, you’re no longer “jogging”. You’re running, baby.

And you know why there are no laws restricting “jogging speed”?

Because a runner didn’t collide with a 45-year-old woman in Bedok Reservoir Road in March, leaving her with severe head injuries.

Because a runner didn’t collide with a 56-year-old woman in Yishun nine days later, leaving her with a lower lip laceration, chest wall strain and skin abrasions.

Because a runner didn’t collide with a 65-year-old woman in an Ang Mo Kio HDB block lift lobby in April, leaving her with a cut on her nose and bruises on her hip and leg.



Because a runner didn’t collide with a five-year-old girl outside Sembawang MRT station in May, leaving her with abrasions on her limbs and a bruise on her forehead.

Because a runner didn’t collide with a nine-year-old boy in Clementi in July last year, leaving him with abrasions on his right elbow, wrist and left knee.

Because a runner didn’t collide with a 61-year-old woman in a Yishun hawker centre last October, knocking her unconscious.

Because a runner didn’t collide with a 55-year-old woman at a Pasir Ris bus stop last September, leaving her with severe brain injuries and in a month-long coma.

You know who did all that colliding and injuring? The people who won’t be allowed to go over 10kmh on footpaths next year.

Some e-scooter riders have complained that at that speed, they might as well walk.

You know what? That’s not a bad idea. Walking is good exercise and you have less chance of burning down your home or knocking someone unconscious.

It’s cheaper too. Practically free.



And if you can walk 10km in one hour or even 5km in half an hour, hats off to you, although technically speaking, you’re not walking but running, as I’ve established earlier.

But if you can’t pass your IPPT, even 2.4km in 15 minutes will be hard. You might as well ride an e-scooter even with the new speed limit.

E-scooter fans should be thankful their favourite two-wheel hazard hasn’t been banned outright – yet.

An online petition started by a Mr Rodney Tan called “It Is Time to Ban E-Scooter in Singapore” has already surpassed its goal of 1,000 signatures.

Mr Tan wrote in his petition:

“I have seen, and can safely say many others too, that these e-scooterists would utilise both pedestrian walk paths and road meant for vehicles, whenever they feel it was convenient.

“As a motorist, I really do not know what to expect of them in terms of road practices.

“As it is, LTA is short of manpower to police irresponsible cyclists who had caused so many accidents to pedestrians.”

Oooh, and he managed to throw in a little shade at cyclists too, just to let them know that even though e-scooter riders have overtaken cyclists as the No. 1 road nuisance, they haven’t been forgotten (although losing their deposit to oBike should be punishment enough).

Mr Tan continued: “Let us not be politically correct about this. Let us nip this problem at the bud before it really gets out of hand.”

Unfortunately, the petition was started at least two years ago. We've now gone way past the bud stage. And judging by the number of e-scooter collisions since 2016, it has indeed got out of hand.

But instead of a ban that Mr Tan wants, the Government seems to be just making it as onerous as possible to ride an e-scooter.



We can see how effective that strategy has been with smokers. Old habits die hard.

Now please excuse me while I jog at less than 10kmh to Kopitiam to get a straw for my KFC drink.

- Published in The New Paper, 17 September 2018

In (half-hearted) defence of 'tip-up seats' in new MRT trains: It's not up to passengers

You know how last week, it was reported that a guest at a Singapore hotel asked for a photo of US actor Jeff Goldblum next to the bed and got it?

The guest from Australia said he made the special request “for a laugh”, but the Singapore Marriott Tang Plaza hotel took his request to a Goldblumesque extreme by placing pictures of Geena Davis’ ex-husband in different parts of the room including the toilet.



But what if the guest didn’t ask for it?

Imagine walking into a hotel room and being startled by photos of the bug-eyed star of The Fly, Jurassic Park, Independence Day, Thor: Ragnarok and the immortal Earth Girls Are Easy at every turn?



I’d be wondering: “What is this? Who is this for? Why would anyone want this? Is this a joke?”

And that, my friends, appears to be the online reaction to the announcement by Land Transport Authority (LTA) last week that some of the new MRT trains will have “tip-up seats” to create more standing room.

What is this? Who is this for? Why would anyone want this? Is this a joke?

A Mothership.sg headline declared: “New MRT trains have ‘tip-up’ seats but S’poreans are having none of it.”

Business Insider blared: “Social media users are going absolutely savage at LTA’s announcement of ‘tip-up’ seats for MRT trains.”



One such savage social media user’s comment: “Solve the MRT breakdown first. Not come up with stupid idea like this.”

Another savage comment: “Why not put carpet instead, everyone can sit on the floor.”

To many, it seems that the idea of tip-up seats is akin to folding up the deck chairs on the Titanic but even less practical.

As someone posted on LTA’s Facebook page: “Come on guys, get your priorities right first before deciding to spend taxpayers money… reliability of train over seats… what’s the point having nice trains but always delayed due to ‘signalling fault’.”

I guess that makes “signalling fault” the iceberg.



Another social media user savagely observed: “People don’t even move into middle of the train. U r expecting 10 people to give up their seats n push the seats up to accommodate more?”

This is allegedly a democracy, right?

Perhaps the seated passengers could call for a mini by-election to vote for whether they should sacrifice their seats for the greater good.

The incumbent pro-sitting party would try to preserve the status quo and take the anti-standing stand while the opposition party would argue for everyone to stand and suffer equally.

After a bitter campaign where the mainstream media is accused of under-reporting the crowd size at the opposition party rally, the incumbent party wins because people really don’t want to give up their electoral seat.

Except that’s not how it works.



According to news reports, passengers are not supposed to fold up the seats. Only the train driver can do that.

Well, good luck then to the driver trying to get people to surrender their seats on a crowded train. The seated passengers might just vote to throw the driver off the train.

But that scenario also appears unlikely.

LTA has yet to explain what the procedure actually is, but I suspect the seats would be folded up at a terminal station at a scheduled time before the anticipated rush hour and not what as many assume, in the middle of a journey when the train is deemed crowded enough.

So there should be no mutiny against the driver by the seated passengers and forcing him to walk the plank (one hopes).

That, of course, still doesn’t make the tip-up seats any more welcomed.

Especially in the same week where the Downtown Line was plagued by delays due to another iceberg. It was unfortunate timing.

Like a hidden camera found in a Nanyang Technological University (NTU) toilet days before the NTU Open House over the weekend.



Or announcing a goods and services tax hike right after one of the largest Budget surpluses in Singapore’s history.

Or the Grab app not working during the Downtown Line disruption.

Commuters just can’t catch a break.

The least LTA can do is give us somewhere to sit.

And not a picture of Jeff Goldblum.

- Published in The New Paper, 5 March 2018