Viral NUSWhispers post: 'Louis Vuitton is for poor people who want to look rich'

Dear Louis Vuitton,

I just Googled your name and found out that you were an actual person, unlike, say, Gioven Kelvin?

But you died more than a hundred years ago.

So I guess I'm writing to the company because that would make more sense than me writing to a dead person.

But if somehow in the spirit world, you can read this, feel free.

Anyway, the reason I’m writing to you, LV, is an NUSWhispers post that went viral last week and mentions you.

The anonymous post starts with:

“Sorry I just need to rant. Recently, my boyfriend bought me a Louis Vuitton wallet which costs around $700 for my birthday.”

You would think that the person would be grateful to receive a $700 birthday present with your brand name on it, but you would be wrong.

The post continues:

“When I saw the wallet, I felt really upset and disappointed.”

How could this be? How could anyone be upset and disappointed with a $700 Louis Vuitton wallet as a birthday present?

Maybe she is a thrifty person who is unhappy that the boyfriend spent so much money on her for her birthday as his love for her was all that mattered.

Wrong again.

The post continues:

“Because earlier this year, my sister's bf got her a Chanel wallet which costs at least $1,000 for her birthday.”

Okay, so here you might think that this person is just upset because her wallet is not as expensive as her sister’s wallet. The boyfriend should’ve just bought her a $1,000 (or more) Louis Vuitton wallet.

Wrong again.

The post continues:

“Chanel is so much nicer than LV. Let's be honest, LV is for poor people who want to look rich.”

Ouch.



What did you do to this person to get this much shade thrown at you?

But you aren’t the only one.

The post continues:

“And during this CB, her bf always orders food from more popular restaurants like Crystal Jade and Paradise Dynasty for her. But my bf only orders food from cheap restaurants like Swensen's and Ichiban for me.”

Never thought you’d ever be lumped together with Swensen’s and Ichiban, did you?



And the boyfriend comparison doesn’t end there.

The post continues:

“Her bf even gives her $1,000 a month for her own spending. But my bf only gives me $500 a month. I hate to admit but I really feel very jealous of my sister because her bf is willing to spend money on her despite earning just $4k a month. My bf earns at least $5k and yet he is so stingy with me.”

So the sister gets a quarter of her boyfriend’s salary while our anti-LV person gets only one tenth of her boyfriend’s salary. Yes, I would be jealous too.

The post concludes:

“Sometimes I really feel like a loser... why my sister can find such a good bf but I just cannot. Just because she is taller and slimmer, she can find a good bf.. it's so unfair. Sorry for the long rant.”

Poor shorter, fatter sibling.

And it was all triggered by a $700 wallet from you.

The post has nearly 4,000 shares on Facebook and is the topic on at least two online forums.



There’s no way to verify the post.

Some have dismissed it as being written by a “troll”, meaning someone who just wanted to provoke a reaction.

In that regard – whether the post is fake news or not – it succeeded.

I’m writing to Swensen’s and Ichiban next to get their reaction.

Are you turning in your grave right now?

If only Louis Vuitton had the power to Pofma someone.

- Published in The New Paper, 1 June 2020

Storm in a 50-cent tea cup? Confusion over May deal at NTUC Foodfare

Just half a dollar.

For the whole of this month, when you show your National Trades Union Congress (NTUC) membership card at NTUC Foodfare or Kopitiam, you can buy a cup of hot coffee or tea (or their various c, o, kosong, siew dai, ga dai, po, gau incarnation) for only 50 cents.

I believe it has something to do with May Day, celebrating workers and all that.

At least I don’t have to demean myself by wearing a Liverpool jersey to get the special price.



I was delighted to spot the “$0.50 kopi & teh” sign in my neighbourhood Foodfare coffee shop since I go there to buy a packet of teh for myself and a packet of teh-o for my wife to take home practically every morning.

It usually costs $1 for the teh and 90 cents for the teh-o, but this month, I need to pay only $1 for both. It’s like Thanos snapped half the price away.

That will save me $27.90, which I can spend on watching Avengers: Endgame in Imax 3D again with popcorn.



Or so I thought.

For the first few days of the month, I smiled like I had never smiled before at the drinks auntie as I showed her my NTUC card and paid only $1 for my daily beverages.

Then last week, things suddenly changed.

She told me she could charge me 50 cents for only one drink and I had to pay full price for the other.

Wait, what?

She explained that the rule is actually one cup per card.

So they had been doing it wrong all this time?

I asked, what if I queued up and ordered again? The auntie said, no, no, she still had to charge me full price for the second drink.

But what if I disguised myself such that she couldn’t recognise me? Josh damn it, I left my Thanos mask at home.

If I wanted to pay 50 cents for my wife’s teh-o, it seemed my only options were to go to another NTUC Foodfare or Kopitiam, or get someone else to order for me using my NTUC card (since they didn’t check who the card belonged to), or wait for the drink stall staff to change shift.

Or pay full price, which was, of course, unthinkable.

That’s like 40 cents more!

I looked around the coffee shop and considered asking a stranger to order the teh-o for me, but my skin wasn’t “gau” enough.

I was about to head home teh-o-less, but the fear of disappointing my wife made me turn around and accept the unthinkable – I would pay the full price of 90 cents for her drink.

The drinks auntie sighed when she saw me again. Half exasperated and half taking pity on me, she charged me 50 cents for the teh-o and said she wasn’t supposed to do this.

I smiled at her like I never smiled at anyone before.

Never mind the Avengers – she’s my hero.

But still confounded by the “one cup per card” rule, I looked it up online and found an April 25 Straits Times report that said:

“There is no limit to the number of cups of discounted kopi, kopi-o, kopi-c, teh, teh-o and teh-c - including sugarless varieties – customers can order in one day. They can order one discounted drink for each card presented at the counter and have to queue again to order each subsequent cup.”

Which contradicts what the drinks auntie told me.



Was my hero mistaken or should ST be prosecuted under the new Protection from Online Falsehoods and Manipulation Act?

But even if ST is right, it seems kind of silly to force people to queue up each time for a 50-cent beverage.

What if there’s no queue? Can I just order multiple 50-cent cups? Or must I go through the motion of ordering one at a time?

And why was it different for the first few days of the month?

It appears NTUC hasn’t quite thought this through.

Oh yah, and do I need to bring my Thanos mask?

The things I do to save 40 cents.

- Published in The New Paper, 13 May 2019


Good morning,

Thanks for the article in The New Paper this morning.

The discount is not applicable in NTUC hawker in Kampung Admiralty. I was really surprised as this location is specially opened by Mr Lee Hsien Loong. Kampung Admiralty, an integrated housing estate for senior citizens, is considered a model for future public housing.

The mixed vegetables rice prices in most NTUC food court has special concessions for senior citizens, student and NTUC union members. But it's also not applicable in Kampung Admiralty. Example: Khoo Teck Phuat Hospital food court and NTUC coffeeshop in Blk 361 Sembawang crescent.

NTUC privilege is not align and it's really confusing to consumers.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Thank you,
Lilian


Hello S Mong

I read with amusement, your article in TNP today. I have not tried purchasing the 50 cents kopi but another deal caught my attention - free ferry ticket to batam (need to pay $20 for fees and surcharges). I am planning to make good use of it this long weekend for my family but now i am not sure if i can buy their tickets too.

Perhaps it's not about the organiser not thinking through all possibilities, but really Singaporeans are always very creative in finding loop holes or getting around the rules. You have pointed out a few in the article. Another good example is the recent HPB QR code incident. Some Singaporeans see the goodwill perks/deals as an entitlement and demanded beyond what is logical, causing happiness and ranting.

I guess if i can get discounted ferry tickets for my family, that would be great but if i can't, then at least i have some savings on my ticket.

When we show gratitude for the little things in life, we can lead happier lives.


UPDATE: NTUC Enterprise responds: 'We apologise for the confusion'

Remember that time ministers actually got a pay cut? It will probably never happen again

Thanks to recent comments by a former Prime Minister who shall remain unnamed, ministers' pay has been a hot topic for two weeks now with longer legs than I expected.

But what I find missing in the discussion is any mention that ministers did get a pay cut once.

Remember? It was just six years ago.

Here's a reminder:



It was big news.

After decades of people bitching that our ministers are paid way too much (like they're doing now... again), the Government actually caved to public pressure and agreed to cut the ministers' salaries.

And this was in 2012, one year after the 2011 General Election and three years before the 2015 General Election. So you can't even call it a PAP election ploy.

I thought people would give the Government some credit for that, but the reaction to the ministerial pay cut was a big meh.

As in "So? They're still paid too much."

As The New Paper reported:

Don’t cut, they whack.

Slash the pay of political appointment holders and they still let fly.

Twitterverse was abuzz with the hashtag #ministerpaycut shortly after noon yesterday.

“Too little.”

“Not enough.”

These were the words used by some to describe the pay cuts for political appointment holders – ranging from 15-53 per cent – recommended by the eight-man committee set up by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong last May to review political salaries.

Some critics pointed out that despite a 36 per cent pay cut, PM Lee will still earn more than the leaders of Hong Kong, Australia and the US combined.

Under the committee’s recommendations, PM Lee would receive an annual salary of $2.2 million.

The combined salaries of the leaders of Hong Kong, Australia and the US is close to $1.9 million.

The Speaker of Parliament, a post now held by Punggol East SMC Member of Parliament Michael Palmer, saw the deepest cut, of 53 per cent, while the Prime Minister and other Cabinet ministers had cuts of 31 per cent to 39 per cent. PM Lee is likely to face a pay cut of 36 per cent from his 2010 pay of $3.07m.

PM Lee said in a letter addressed to Mr Ee that the Government intends to accept the committee’s recommendations.

Reactions came thick and fast. Will the top talent still step up to serve with the pay cut? Why not cut more?

It's a no-win situation.

What’s the point then?

And now the whole ministerial pay thing has blown up again and no one has even mentioned the 2012 pay cut.

If I were the Government, I would just let the issue blow over (and it will) because as history has shown, giving in to a pay cut won't appease anyone. The haters are still gonna hate.

Been there, done that.

The ministers already gave themselves a pay cut once and no one appreciated it. Now that they've learnt their lesson, I doubt they'll ever do it again.

At least they get to keep their money.


UPDATE:
It has been suggested that the ministerial pay cut was a consequence of PAP's poor showing in the 2011 General Election (where PAP lost a GRC for the first time).

This makes sense. Stung by the swing against the PAP, the ruling party sought to win back voters and the pay cut was its way of telling the electorate: "We hear what you're saying. We can change."

The PAP would do much better in the next election in 2015, but I don't think anyone thinks the pay cut was a factor.

Art, sports & dollars: Award-winning artist Sonny Liew & gold medal-winning athlete Soh Rui Yong put the money where their mouth is

Both had highly publicised money-related issues with authorities.

One involving a state grant. The other, sponsorships.

Both overcame those issues to win in their respective fields.

And last week, both used money to make a statement about how the arts and sports are run by the state.


ILLUSTRATOR SONNY LIEW, 42



In 2015, the National Arts Council (NAC) withdrew its $8,000 grant for Liew's graphic novel The Art Of Charlie Chan Hock Chye due to “sensitive content”.

Boosted by the resulting publicity, the book became a local publishing phenomenon and went on to win three Eisner awards in July.

Last Friday, it was revealed that Liew had returned a $19,000 Creation Grant he received from NAC last year for his follow-up book.

While he explained it was "partly about scheduling", Today newspaper also got this stunning quote from Liew:

Bureaucracy can be a good thing in trying to ensure there are regulations and institutions in place to try to ensure transparency, accountability and fairness. But my sense (is) that it is also often a shield for the opposite - to obscure motives, to rationalise weak positions.

In response, NAC wished him all the best.


MARATHONER SOH RUI YONG, 26



Last month, before the SEA Games, Soh was given a formal warning by the Singapore National Olympic Council (SNOC) for failing to comply with Team Singapore's membership agreement on the personal sponsorship blackout period.

He explained on Facebook:



He told Mothership.sg:

I took down my posts because SNOC had repeatedly stated that the comments on the posts were damaging their reputation even after the posts were edited. It was an ultimatum they were giving.

This is something that I believe in fighting for, but it is not worth the risk of being bumped off the team because the pride of Singapore is at stake. I will go to Kuala Lumpur, win a medal, then come back and continue this debate. That is how I believe I can best represent my country.

And win a medal he did - a gold, no less - in the marathon for the second time running.

On Saturday, Soh sent an e-mail to SNOC and Singapore Sports Institute to protest giving 20 per cent of his $10,000 reward for winning a SEA Games gold medal to Singapore Athletics (SA) in accordance to SNOC rules.

He explained on Facebook:

The reason I'm doing so is because I believe that the 20% of gold medal prize money that every athlete requires to give back to the NSA should not be taken for granted.

Common sense dictates that this 20% is meant as a gesture of goodwill to the NSA (National Sports Association) for helping the athlete achieve the success at the SEA Games, while also acting as a future investment in development.

For the 2017 SEA Games, SA has not only failed to adequately help our athletes, but they have also hindered the performance of several athletes with continued infighting, turmoil, and poor administration.

The lack of concrete development plans for the future also cast serious doubts over the future of the sport. As such, I believe that Singapore Athletics is underdeserving of the $2000 (20% of $10000) that SNOC takes out of my MAP (Multi-Million Dollar Award Programme) award money to give to them.

Perhaps once SA has figured out their development plans, they can submit their receipts to me to seek reimbursement. Please allow for 2-4 months for the processing of claims.

So two Singaporeans from different fields, Sonny Liew and Soh Rui Yong, share the common experience of getting shafted by the state.

But both succeeded in spite of poor support from the state.

And within days of each other, both pretty much used their success to basically tell the state: "Up yours!"

That's double the butthurt.

Watch NTUC Income's Rebecca Lim video & call your financial consultant

Weirdly, despite the backlash against NTUC Income's Rebecca Lim-fronted "Start retiring" campaign, it seems a number of financial consultants are still using the video to promote their business.

Should NTUC Income have retired the video?

Whether you are in your 20s, 30s or 40s... we are all on our way to retirement. Plan early...contact Dorothy at hp 90053165

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Everyone should start retiring ! Wow 󾮗🏼󾮟🏼😎so cool w Rebecca ! For more on your retirement planning, I'm pleased to meet...

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EARLIER: By 'retiring', Rebecca Lim shows us how not to promote retirement planning

Would you pay $4.80 for teh during Chinese New Year? It seems I would

Yesterday, after jogging, I went to one of the few coffeeshops open during Chinese New Year to order a packet of "teh".

I spoke in Hokkien. The woman couldn't understand me. So I repeated my order in Mandarin. This time, she heard me and started making the tea.

Another woman came to collect my payment and she asked the first woman what I ordered. Both spoke in Mandarin.

I gave the second woman a $10 note. She gave me back $5.20 in change.

Wait, my tea cost $4.80?

What is this? Starbucks?

I gave the woman a surprised look. She smiled and said the price was increased because of Chinese New Year.

Sure, I expected that, but I'm used to an increase of maybe 10 cents or 20 cents. I certainly didn't expect the price of tea to jump from $1 to $4.80.

I was stunned. But since I had given the money and my tea was already being made, I felt I was committed. I just reminded myself never to buy tea during CNY again.

I couldn't believe I was paying $4.80 for a packet of tea at a neighbourhood coffeeshop.

Then I noticed something. The first woman was making a lot of tea and I was the only customer there.

Could it be...?

That was when it hit me. Somehow the first woman misheard my order and thought I ordered four packets of tea.

That was why I was charged $4.80. Each packet cost $1.20.

So the CNY incease was only 20 cents, not $3.80 as I feared. That's a pretty big difference.

True enough, I was handed four packets of tea.

On the one hand, I was relieved I didn't pay $4.80 for a packet of tea. On the other hand, I was now stuck with four packets of tea.



The picture shows only three packets because I drank one on the way home as I was very thirsty after my jog. I figured there was plenty where that came from.

I managed to finish three packets yesterday and saved one for today by putting it in the fridge.

Looking back, I'm amazed that I was willing to be overcharged four times for something just because it was Chinese New Year.

I'm a con man's dream.

Country club's road to 'poverty simulation exercise' paved with good intentions

Who needs the Gini coefficient?

No, it has nothing to do with rubbing a lamp and making wishes come true, although that’s what I do every night.

The Gini coefficient measures how income is distributed in a society.

Last year, managing director of the Monetary Authority of Singapore Ravi Menon said that Singapore’s Gini coefficient, after taxes and transfers, has improved from 0.41 to 0.36.

This suggests that the income gap in Singapore has narrowed, but there are debates over how accurately the Gini coefficient reflects real life.

I say the best measure of the income gap is the number of country clubs organising poverty simulation exercises for their members.

So far, I count one — Singapore Island Country Club.

What is this “poverty simulation” anyway? Is it played on a computer like a flight simulation?

Or is it like dying your dogs’ fur to simulate pandas?



Well, this is what the country club says about the poverty simulation on its website:

“As privileged individuals, it is hard to imagine life without even the basic necessities that make sustenance possible. ‘In Their Shoes’ allows participants to experience the issues faced by those less fortunate, creating a sense of empathy and greater social responsibility.”

The exercise will be held on March 5 from 10am to noon in the Brassie Room of the club’s Bukit Location. Members pay $25 while guests pay $30. Please RSVP by Feb 11.

So for $30 or less, you get to experience something for two hours that many get to experience for free for a lifetime. What a bargain!

Considering that the poverty simulation exercise is targeted at “privileged individuals”, the organisers could have charged the country club members way more than $30 for the privilege of pretending to be poor and donated the extra money to help people who are actually poor.

But since the exercise is conducted by Methodist Welfare Services (MWS), such price-gouging probably wouldn’t be very Christian.

Although MWS has conducted the exercise since 2011 for church members, schools and other volunteer groups, this is the first time for a country club.



Today newspaper, which first reported the “news” last week, said that even the club members had mixed reactions to the poverty simulation, “calling it a good effort on the part of the club, but pointed out the club could go further and organise more community service activities”.

One member, who is interested in joining the exercise, told Today:

“For me, I grew up in poverty. We had to give up our bus fares and walk to school just to buy simple luxuries, so I think it will be good to experience what it’s like to be poor now.”

Yes, one rich guy actually said that it would be good to experience being poor again since he was once poor himself.

Hey, who doesn’t get nostalgic for poverty?

Blinded by good intentions and a bourgeois lack of self-awareness, the club failed to foresee how condescending and insensitive the headline “Singapore Island Country Club offers ‘poverty simulation’ class for members” would make them look.

As if we don’t have enough reasons to resent the rich.

Someone commented online: “I thought Titanic was only a movie. Wow, rich people want to see what happens in basement now. God bless the nation!”



Another commented: “What next? A zoo with poor ordinary Singaporeans in it?”

And another one: “Oh, Jane, dear, sign up our son together with our butler, driver and bodyguard to that feeling-poor club activity. Think our employees will appreciate the course.”

But my favourite comment is this one: “Don’t worry… super recession coming… real poverty akan datang.”

Others suggested a “wealth simulation exercise” for the poor to even the score.

I think we had something like that last year when 42 underprivileged kids were driven around in super expensive cars such as Ferraris, Maseratis and Porsches owned by rich people.



Organised by the Industrial and Services Co-operative Society, which helps ex-offenders and their families, the well-intended event was criticised for being “distasteful” and “morally wrong”.

As one commenter put it: “Hey, kids, look at the things your family cannot afford. Enjoy it while it lasts.”

Another suggested sarcastically: “For your next event, why don't you have the kids jump around in piles of cash? Strict 30-minute time limits should still apply.”

It seems no matter how they try to do the right thing, rich people just can’t catch a break.

Poor things.

We have the Gini coefficient to measure the income gap. Now if only we have something to measure the blitheness of “privileged individuals”.

We can call it the Country Club coefficient.

- Published in The New Paper, 7 February 2016

History on repeat: The Government and The Art Of Charlie Chan Hock Chye

Someone once said: “Learn from history or you're doomed to repeat it.”

I think it was George Santayana, the late Spanish writer and philosopher.

Or Jesse Ventura, the American former professional wrestler, star of the original Predator movie and philosopher.



I always get the two men confused.

I must be a pretty slow learner because history appears to be on auto-rewind.

First, a little history.

Actually, there has been a lot of history lately.

Call me crazy, but I suspect it may have something to do with SG50.



Last Sunday, I wrote about Singapura: The Musical, which retells the history of Singapore’s struggle for independence from the Filipino perspective with some Pinkerton Syndrome thrown in for romance.

Because, you know, who doesn't want to learn Singapore history from the people we just trounced 84-12 in netball in the SEA Games?



Then we have the official music video of this year’s official National Day Parade theme song called Our Singapore by Dick Lee.

At least I think it’s a music video. It looks more like a compilation of Singapore history’s greatest clips interspersed with shots of Lee lip-syncing at the piano.

Let me tell you it’s no Taylor Swift facing off with Selena Gomez as the world explodes in massive fireballs around them.



To show the passage of history, the NDP video starts in black and white, and ends in colour.

That’s all the SG50 magic you get when you hire a visionary local film-maker like Eric Khoo to direct the video.

Still not enough Singapore history for ya?

You can read local comic book artist Sonny Liew's graphic novel, The Art Of Charlie Chan Hock Chye, launched last month.

That is, if you can find a copy.

The book sold out after it was reported that the National Arts Council (NAC) is withdrawing its $8,000 grant from the publisher to fund the project because “the retelling of Singapore’s history in the work potentially undermines the authority or legitimacy of the Government and its public institutions, and thus breaches our funding guidelines”.

The publicity alone is worth more than $8,000.

It’s history repeating itself. Once again, the Government has created publicity and demand for a local work by making things difficult for the artists.

It happened with film-maker Tan Pin Pin’s To Singapore, With Love when MDA classified the documentary as “Not Allowed for All Ratings”, effectively making it illegal to be publicly screened in Singapore.

It happened in December with the Dim Sum Dollies’ The History Of Singapore Part 2 when the Media Development Authority (MDA) gave the show an Advisory 16 (Some Mature Content) rating three days before the show’s opening.



I don’t recall a time in the history of Singapore when the Government got so touchy about the history of Singapore.

But at least it generates some free publicity for the artists.

Yes, I know I’ve written about the Streisand effect before. I’m repeating myself because history is repeating itself. Someone's not learning from it.

Luckily for Liew, his graphic novel wasn’t banned. Unlike the case of To Singapore, With Love, you don’t have to brave a trip to Johor to buy a copy of The Art Of Charlie Chan Hock Chye.

So it’s win-win for Liew and his publisher, Epigram Books. They can reap the benefits of the publicity from NAC withdrawing its grant and sell the book without any restrictions from the Government. Not even an Advisory 16 rating.

So what’s $8,000?

Heck, I can give Epigram the money.

The boss of Epigram, Mr Edmund Wee, once gave me a freelance job after I was retrenched in 2001 and desperate for income and validation. For that, I will always be grateful.

To pay him back, now that I’m a big-time columnist for The New Paper on Sunday (ahem), I believe I can afford to part with eight measly grand to help Epigram out of the poorhouse (if my wife lets me).

All I ask is a free autographed copy of the book once it’s reprinted — and a cut of the movie deal if the book is turned into a feature film.

Eric Khoo can even direct it.

He can do his black-and-white to colour thing again.

Maybe there will also be The Art Of Charlie Chan Hock Chye: The Musical.

Just keep the Filipinos away from it.

We don’t want history to repeat itself, do we?

- Published in The New Paper, 7 June 2015

Hello Mr Ong,

Enjoyed your "$8,000" story today. Can you please do one of similar vein on childish (or farcical" if I am cruel) antics of the three MCs of the ceremony. I have seen better MC performances in my daughter's secondary school concerts.

And I am not even referring to one of them's silly imitation of an Indian accent.

While you're at it, go count the number of times the word "extraordinary" was used by the ang moh commentator, especially.

We need some improvements in the closing ceremony commentary!

Thanks.
DH

UPDATE: I got this nice little shout-out from Sonny Liew after the column was published:

From the Newpaper!During research for the book, I discovered that SM's dad was a cartoonist too! http://smong.net/2012/06/what-is-art-and-meaning-of-movie.html

Posted by Sonny Liew on Saturday, June 6, 2015

Skip Chinese New Year? I tried

In 2001, US author John Grisham wrote a No. 1 New York Times bestseller called Skipping Christmas.

For those who have never heard of Grisham, his books were like the Fifty Shades Of Grey of the 90s. Only instead of writing about journalists having kinky sex with their interview subjects (happens to me all the time), Grisham wrote mostly about lawyers. So it was more like Fifty Shades Of Grey Suits.

But Skipping Christmas was not about lawyers, so it was quite a departure for Grisham. As the title suggests, the short novel is about a married American couple who decide to skip Christmas.

That is, to forgo all the annual rituals that come with the holiday — the shopping, the tree, the decorating, the cards, the fruitcake and so on.

As someone who routinely doesn’t do any of those things (except shopping), I was surprised you could write a whole book about not doing those things.

Why put up decorations and get a tree when you have to get rid of them in a couple of weeks anyway?

But Skipping Christmas was not only a book — it also became a 2004 movie called Christmas With The Kranks, starring Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis.



Let’s just say it wasn’t exactly Lord Of The Rings.

Then this year, I finally got it. I finally understood why it was so difficult for the fictional American couple to skip Christmas.

It would be like me trying to skip Chinese New Year.

I have more or less managed to skip everything else.

Over the years, I have trained my family (my wife and two teenage kids) not to get sucked in by all these fake “holidays” promoted by the retail industrial complex — Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and the increasingly popular Halloween.

No presents. No cards. No overpriced “holiday” restaurant meals.



But I do allow cakes and presents on birthdays, and my wife gets the set lunch at Jack’s Place on our wedding anniversary. But that was it.

We, as a family, do not participate in any superfluous holiday ritual.

Except for Chinese New Year.

It should be called the Festival of Queues, with all the Singaporeans queueing for bak kwa and to buy Toto for the annual Hongbao Draw.



Even I couldn’t escape queuing for new notes at the bank to stuff into the hongbao.

But why do I need to give hongbao anyway, much less use new notes?

Just because everyone is doing it? Because it’s tradition? For good luck? Courtesy?

One year, I decided not to give out hongbao at all when visiting relatives.

Call me stingy. Call me a CNY Scrooge. I don’t care.

After the CPF changes, I’m still not sure exactly how much or how little I can withdraw from my account when I turn 55 in six years, so cash flow is no small consideration.



Not everyone can work at DBS Bank and get a $1,000 SG50 hongbao.

I should be practical and secure enough to withstand some name-calling and gossipy whispers behind my back.

But my mother wasn’t. I later found out that to save face, my mother gave out hongbao on my behalf, which kind of defeated the purpose.

I think too many of us care too much about saving face (instead of saving money). So it was back to queueing for new notes to stuff into the hongbao the next year.

Chinese New Year is one reason I miss full-time national service (NS).

At least during my NS, I could volunteer for CNY duty to avoid visiting relatives and lie to my mother that it was my unreasonable Encik who forced me to be on duty.

So I had two very restful Chinese New Years, thanks to conscription.

Without NS, the only way for me to get out of visiting relatives now is to go on an actual holiday overseas during the holiday, which indeed, some of my relatives have done.



Hey, wait a minute. Were they avoiding me?

I wonder, is it possible to not get sucked into the CNY industrial complex without leaving the country?

In other words, could I skip Chinese New Year?

I could lie to my mother that the family was going on a holiday.

No hongbao, no oranges, no shopping for new clothes and no reunion dinner.

My wife was all for it.

“Let’s do it!” she said.

But alas, my damn kids protested.

My son claimed he actually enjoyed seeing our relatives once a year.

My daughter said: “I have to go visit the food and the hongbao.”

Sure, it’s all profit for them, but it’s just dollar bills flying out of my wallet for me.

So not this year, but maybe next year.

And if not next year, then the year after that.

But someday — I don’t know when — I’m going to write a book called Skipping Chinese New Year and it will be autobiographical.

New York Times bestsellers list, here I come!

- Published in The New Paper, 15 February 2015

What's with Stomp's obsession with the price of nasi padang & other rice dishes?

I guess the price of the rice is not so nice.

Posted on 5 May 2014

Will you pay $9.20 for this plate of curry rice?




Posted on 25 April 2014

Worth the price? This plate of Nasi Padang cost $9.70




Posted on 9 April 2014

This plate of Nasi Padang cost $7 for fried fish and mussels




Posted on 24 March 2014

Would you pay $6 for fish soup with extra rice?




Posted on 7 February 2014

Will you pay $6.20 for this plate of mixed vegetable rice?




Posted on 1 February 2014

Is this packet of fried rice worth $8 to you?




Posted on 30 October 2013 (No rice, but close enough)

Fair or not? Chicken wing, otah and hash brown costs $3.90




Posted on 26 October 2013

$6 curry fish rice has just 4 slices of fish, yet auntie argues there are 6




Posted on 17 October 2013

$8.50 for a few measly pieces of chicken, rice and an egg -- and it's supposed to be 'medium-size'




Posted on 19 August 2013

Can you spot the meat in this $3 curry rice?




Posted on 01 June 2013

Nasi lemak with fish, chicken and vegetables cost $13.50




Posted on 15 April 2013

Can you believe these nasi padang dishes cost more than $8 each?




Posted on 13 March 2013

$4.70 for Nasi Padang with only ikan bilis and pickles is too expensive




Posted on 24 April 2012

Expensive: Mixed rice meal at TTSH Kopitiam costs $5.10




Posted on 11 January 2011

Rice plate bought at ION cost me $7.80!




Posted on 14 May 2010

Would you pay $8.50 for this Nasi Padang?

Somewhere out there, Baey Yam Keng must be chuckling over his 50-cent bandung.