Sunday 14 September 2014

Goodbye, Boanne: Did Joanne Peh marry Qi Yuwu just to spite me?

Okay, I surrender. I admit it. I was wrong.

In April last year, I wrote a column called “So is Joanne Peh really going out with Qi Yuwu?

This week, should my column be called “So did Joanne Peh really marry Qi Yuwu?”

Because apparently, TV stars Peh and Qi got married on Sentosa in front of the Merlion statue last week and celebrity stylist David Gan posted a picture of the ceremony on Instagram with the caption in Chinese: “My other daughter is married.”

Wait, what? Gan has daughters?

Who knew he had children in the first place? Who’s the mother?

He’s the mother?

But he’s a guy.

My shock is reflected in the expression on the Merlion’s face.

Many were also surprised by Peh and Qi getting married.

Actress Pan Lingling said it best: “Really!”

The quiet quickie wedding of Peh and Qi has been compared to that of US movie stars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie whose secret nuptials last month also took everyone by surprise. (If only David Gan was there to Instagram it.)

But then Brangelina have been dating since 2005 and have 500 children together.

On the other hand, Peh and Qi – let’s call them Joyu for short – have been dating only since last year.

Before that, many expected Peh to marry Bobby Tonelli. Let’s call them Boanne (rather than Jobby) for short.

As someone tweeted: “Wait, I always think that Joanne Peh is still with Bobby Tonelli and then suddenly she is married to Qi Yuwu already?”

I know the feeling. I, too, have trouble getting over Boanne even though Tonelli has moved on and now has a Indonesian Muslim girlfriend.

But the reason I can’t let go isn’t that Boanne lasted four long years whereas Joyu have been around only for a year plus change.

It’s that Joyu have yet to have a defining moment like Boanne did with the infamous Nando’s water incident.

In 2011, Boanne went to the Nando’s in Tanglin Mall for dinner and a request for hot water turned into national news after Peh tweeted about the bad service. Less than a week later, Tanglin Mall was forced to close due to flooding caused by heavy rain.

Even Mother Nature was on Boanne’s side.

On the other hand, when news broke 15 months ago about Peh dating Qi, quite a few people, including myself, questioned the relationship.

There was speculation that it was a publicity stunt. If it was, it certainly worked, partly due to media reports speculating that it was a publicity stunt.

Qi even addressed the gay rumours in an 8 Days magazine interview, saying: “People can say whatever they want.”

And people have.

After the Joyu wedding came to light, someone asked on Twitter: “Qi Yuwu is straight meh?”

To which another person tweeted in reply: “Joanne Peh is officially the most committed beard ever.”

I have no idea what that means. How does the actress resemble male facial hair?

Another tweet: “Is Joanne Peh secretly a guy?”


Someone else tweeted: “It’s like the 'Jacintha & Dick Lee’ wedding fa├žade.”

I have no idea what that means either.

But Joyu have their supporters as well.

After my column asking “Is Joanne Peh really going out with Qi Yuwu?” came out last year, I received this e-mail:
“Well, according to an informed source, Joanne stayed the night at QYW this past Wednesday night. You do the maths as they say.”
Maths? You mean, like one plus 715 equal 716?

Twitter joke: If Joyu have a baby, the kid should be named Qi Yuliu. Get it?

Ever since that column, my resentment for Joyu grew with each picture I saw of them together. It was as if they were purposely letting themselves be photographed as a couple just to spite me.

Then came the Merlion wedding photo that Gan posted last Tuesday.

It was Joyu taunting me: “Remember you wrote about how our relationship isn’t real? Well, we’re getting married just to prove you wrong, you Hello Kitty-loving old hippy!”

Okay, I surrender. I admit it. I was wrong.

Can Joyu please stop rubbing it in my face now?

You know who Joyu should go after? Their MediaCorp colleague Elvin Ng, who said: “Real love should be admired and respected anywhere, so if it’s real love, it should be congratulated.”

What does he mean, “if”? Of course, it’s real love! How dare he insinuate otherwise?

I’m also concerned by what Peh told Qi in her wedding vow:
“I’ve missed you for the first half of my life and I am glad I am going to spend the second half of my life with you.”
Does that mean that Peh, who is 31, expects to live only till 62?

Maybe the Government can make an exception for her and let her withdraw all her CPF at 55 so that she can enjoy the money in the last few years of her life.

Does this mean that I’m finally over Boanne?

I suppose, in a way, the David Gan Instagram has become the Nando’s water incident for Joyu.

Thanks to the Gan-ster, Joyu now have their own defining moment. And they didn’t have to go to a chicken restaurant for it.

Someone should make a documentary about the wedding and call it To Sentosa, With Love.

MDA wouldn’t ban that, would it?

I mean, this doesn’t count as a gay wedding, right?

Or does it?

- Published in The New Paper, 14 September 2014


Here are a few choice tweets about the Joanne Peh-Qi Yuwu wedding

Joanne Peh & Qi Yuwu: Is she really going out with him?

UPDATE: Joanne Peh & Qi Yuwu expecting their first child: Twitter reacts