I’m interviewed on CNA: On The Red Dot Reunions: Phua Chu Kang Pte Ltd

I'm in this CNA programme, which brought back the cast of Phua Chu Kang Pte Ltd for a reunion and to talk about the show, which ended in 2007. There were previous reunion episodes for Under One Roof, Growing Up and Singapore Idol.

CNA interviewed me in November (separately from the PCK cast).

I haven't watched it because I can't stand to see myself on screen, but I'm told I don't appear that much in the programme, which first aired last night on New Year's Eve.

Oh, brother! I once pitched to Mediacorp Channel 5 an idea for sitcom about a Malay family and was told to add a Chinese character

Oh no, she didn’t!

But she did. I think someone just called Mediacorp racist.

Or did she?

That someone is broadcast journalist Sharanjit Leyl.



In a BBC radio programme that aired two days before National Day, she said: “My pride in multicultural Singapore comes with the acknowledgement that had I been born Chinese, my life would have been a lot easier.”

She talked about how even though she had a master’s degree and broadcast journalism experience in Canada, “I struggled to get my foot in the door at the local news broadcaster”.

The “local news broadcaster” she was referring to is, of course, Mediacorp.

So she got a job at Bloomberg, where one of her duties was to provide currency updates to Mediacorp.

“They told my bosses they didn’t want me doing TV updates for them,” said Ms Sharanjit.

“I know the man who ran the newsroom of that same TV channel, who ironically happens to be Indian Singaporean.

“And I confronted him about why there were still so few Indian and Malay anchors presenting their programmes.

“His response was that viewers did not like watching darker-skinned presenters.”

So she was not actually accusing Mediacorp of being racist. She was accusing Mediacorp of accusing its viewers of being racist.

Mediacorp has since released a statement that Ms Sharanjit appears to be referring to its editor-in-chief Walter Fernandez, who did not say what she said he said.

He said: “To my recollection, I did not reference race or skin colour at all in our conversation.”

The company also said that it is “committed to equal opportunities and diversity in our workforce” and its “hiring policies and practices are based on merit”.



I was once (actually thrice) a Mediacorp employee and this reminds me of my own experience there.

I used to work on Channel 5 shows like Phua Chu Kang Pte Ltd, Under One Roof, Living With Lydia and Shiver.




We regularly had pitch meetings where we proposed new show ideas for the channel.

One day, I decided to pitch a sitcom about a Malay family. It had never been done on Channel 5 before. The closest we got was Police & Thief, starring Mark Lee and Suhaimi Yusof, which was about a Malay family – and also a Chinese family.



It seems that on Channel 5, while Chinese characters can be the leads, if there are minority characters, they are part of the ensemble or co-leads at best.





The rationale, of course, is that since Singapore is majority Chinese, this should be reflected in the casting of the show to get the most viewers.

But when I analysed the viewership of the most popular Channel 5 programmes, what I noticed was that Malays comprised a sizable chunk disproportionate to their population.

I figured that if I could grow this demographic, I could get boffo ratings for my show. Most Chinese viewers are watching Channel 8 anyway.

So my motivation was more commercial than woke.

I also thought that a Channel 5 series with an all-Malay cast would be a first and make a great marketing hook.

When I pitched my concept, the feedback I got from the executives running Channel 5 (all Chinese) was they liked the idea – but could I include a Chinese character as well?

What? That would defeat the whole purpose of the show!

No, I wasn’t going to change anything, I snapped.

My reaction was so antagonistic that the executives just didn’t want to deal with me any more and moved on to another pitch.

I immediately regretted my outburst. I guess I could have added a Chinese character. Or pretended that I would.

But in hindsight, perhaps it was for the best. A blessing in disguise. I am probably not the most qualified person to create a sitcom about a Malay family.

My idea was a show called Brudder! which would centre around two brothers. A lot of the dialogue would just be them going “Brudder!”

That would not have aged well. I definitely dodged a bullet there. I should thank those Channel 5 execs for saving me from myself by rejecting my pitch, even though it was due less to its lack of merit and more to my obnoxiousness.

But I did do a pilot about an Indian family starring Gurmit Singh for Channel 5 that didn’t go to series and was never aired.

Yes, it did have Chinese characters.

Well, at least nobody told me that Channel 5 viewers did not like watching darker-skinned characters.

- Unpublished

Disney+ or Netflix? If I could pick only one...

Remember the circuit breaker last year? Seems like a lifetime ago now.

Not being essential, I was mostly stuck at home.

We could not eat out. All the cinemas were closed.

Like many, I turned to Netflix for entertainment.

I binged all the well-known shows such as The Crown and Stranger Things. I tried but could not sit through Tiger King.

Soon, I was running out of shows to watch.

Out of desperation and curiosity, I clicked on a banner link of this Spanish series I had never heard of, starring people I had never heard of.

The show was called Money Heist and was about a gang of misfits taking hostages in the Royal Mint of Spain.



I was hooked, which I did not expect.

But if it were not for the pandemic, I would have probably never watched a show like that.

The circuit breaker is now over but not the pandemic. And Netflix is no longer the only streaming giant in town.



At long last, after more than 15 months since its official launch in the US, Canada and the Netherlands, Disney+ is finally available in Singapore.

A bit late, considering the second season of The Baby Yoda Show (also known as The Mandalorian) ended in December.



But just in time for The Series Finale episode Of WandaVision, released last Friday.

As per almost all Marvel Studios productions, stay for the mid and post-credits scene. Spoiler alert: Dr Strange does not materialise.



But apart from the Star Wars and Marvel stuff, Disney+ also offers content from Pixar, National Geographic, Star and, well, Disney.

All this for just $11.98 a month or $119.98 a year.

That is unless you want to watch the new Disney animated extravaganza, Raya And The Last Dragon.



Then it is an additional one-time charge of $38.98.

That is a lot, especially considering that despite the title, the movie has nothing to do with Hari Raya.

You might as well pay to watch it in the cinema, which is the point, I guess.

Or wait three months to stream it on Disney+ without extra charge.

But should you get Disney+ in the first place?

How else are you going to watch Marvel’s next big series, The Falcon And The Winter Soldier, which starts streaming in less than two weeks?



You know the No.1 song around the world right now, Driver’s License by Olivia Rodrigo?



The theory is that it’s about a guy she co-starred with in High School Musical: The Musical: The Series, but I won’t say who.

How can you watch High School Musical: The Musical: The Series, you may ask.

On Disney+, of course.



If only we had Disney+ last year during the circuit breaker, I would not have had to depend so much on Netflix to keep myself entertained and sane.

But if I can have only one, which would I pick?

Gun to my head... Netflix.

Because despite Disney+’s massive library that includes the five biggest box-office hits ever, it feels rather hermetic and homogeneous due to the overarching American-ness of it all.

Even Raya And The Last Dragon is an action-packed mocktail of non-specific South-east Asian exotica watered down for Western palates.

Disney+ lacks the diversity and internationality of Netflix, where you can find Bridgerton, Japanese anime, K-dramas and, yes, a series about a money heist at a Spanish mint.

Sorry, Baby Yoda.

I am unlikely to experience the unique joy of discovering and falling in love with a new show I had never heard of on Disney+.

PlusI don't think anyone will evr say: “Disney+ and chill.”

Oh yah, Netflix also has Phua Chu Kang.

- Published in The New Paper, 8 March 2021

Star Wars exhibition, I find your lack of Baby Yoda disturbing: This is not the way

Dear Star Wars,

Trust once lost is difficult to regain.

You have let your fans down once again.

And I’m speaking as someone who watched all the movies, joined two Star Wars Runs and invested in a 1:6 scale Greedo figurine because Han shot him first.

How have you let us down? Let’s see...

The 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special, kissing siblings, the bullying of the actors who played Jar Jar Binks and child Darth Vader because the characters were so reviled by many – plus the entire sequel trilogy.



I actually didn’t mind the Solo movie that much.

And now we have Star Wars Identities: The Exhibition coming to Singapore.

To quote the Facebook page: “Happening for the first time in South-east Asia, the interactive exhibition will showcase original props, models, costumes, and artwork from Star Wars films.”

Reportedly, these include the original trilogy, the prequels, The Force Awakens and the animated series, The Clone Wars.

Get ready Star Wars fans, tickets go on sale from Jan 15.

Posted by CNA on Wednesday, January 6, 2021

If you think Boba is bubble tea, then this exhibition in the ArtScience Museum at Marina Bay Sands from Jan 30 to June 13 is probably not for you.

Hey, I thought, this is a chance for a fan like me to use my SingapoRediscovers Vouchers and flee the pandemic to a galaxy far, far away where the Empire can't access my TraceTogether data.

Until I read something that made me realise this is not the Star Wars exhibition I’m looking for.

Baby Yoda will not be in the exhibition.

I mean, no Din Djarin, no Cara Dune, no Moff Gideon or no Darksaber, never mind.

But no Grogu? Also known as The Child in the Disney+ TV series The Mandalorian, which just ended its second season last month?



What’s the point of even having a Star Wars exhibition then?

Don’t you know that Baby Yoda has single-handedly (I think we can call them hands) saved your 40 plus-year-old franchise from the sandcrawler wreck that was the sequel trilogy?



Yes, I’m aware the exhibition has the original Yoda puppet, but nowadays, the old Jedi Master looks kind of creepy next to the cosmic cuteness that is Grogu.

現在開催中の “スター・ウォーズ アイデンティティーズ” では、Lucasfilm...

Posted by STAR WARS Identities - The Exhibition on Sunday, September 22, 2019

The problem could be that the travelling exhibition started in 2012, years before The Mandalorian, although it reportedly now also includes stuff from the 2015 sequel, The Force Awakens.

I suspect that while Baby Yoda may not be part of the exhibition, there will probably be plenty of Baby Yoda merch in the gift shop.

Singapore is supposedly the last stop of the travelling exhibition after Canada, Europe and Japan. So I guess it's not worth updating the displays at this late stage.



But if you come up with a new exhibition, I suggest you call it Star Wars: Baby Yoda, Nothing But Baby Yoda.

I guarantee the queues will be longer than a Tatooine sand worm.

I will definitely use my SingapoRediscovers Vouchers for that (if they’re still valid by then).

This is the way.

Trust me.

- Published in The New Paper, 11 January 2021

Guide to Netflix's Best of Phua Chu Kang Season 2 and watch for free

Netflix started streamimg its second season of Best Of Phua Chu Kang Pte Ltd on Sunday.

Whereas the first Netflix season is just the original third season in its entirety, the second Netflix season is a selection of 26 episodes from throughout the eight-season series (except the third season, or course).

I have embedded the episodes from MeWatch below so even if you don't subscribe to Netflix, you can watch for free.

SEASON 1
Edwin Chong played PCK's brother, Chu Beng, for the first seaon.

Rosie's Red



Lock And Key



Pests And Pretence



Baby Blues



Steam Me Up, Scheme Me Down



Peace, Joy, Deadlines & Commitments



SEASON 2
Pierre Png took over as Chu Beng from the second season onwards. I started writing for PCK this season.

Foolish Heart
I wrote this episode.
After a heart attack, Frankie Foo retires from the contracting business and gives all his clients to Chu Kang, who saved his life. Margaret decides to start eating meat.



Lucky Strike
Chu Kang signs himself and Rosie up for a bowling competition, even though the latter is uninterested. Margaret is interested but Chu Kang wants her to prove her worth. Margaret ends up coaching an embarassed Chu Kang when she bowls better than him. Grace Young, Lin Ru Ping, Catherine Kee, Benjamin Ng and Sheila Wyatt guest.



Kaya Ok
Chu Kang struggles with a customer who will use anything, including his father to get a good bargain. Rosie thinks Ahma has found a boyfriend, and Margaret gets upset when she hears Chu Beng calling out for Isabella while he is sleeping.



SEASON 4

Crushing Experiences
Aloysius has a crush on his teacher and gets into trouble so he can stay in after school hours and be with her. Margaret has a near fatal accident that causes her to change her ways.



For Art's Sake
PCK Pte Ltd is hired to re-paint a room in an arts and crafts school. Chu Beng joins a painting class in which he is asked to pose nude for the class. King Kong accidentally damages a valuable mural and Chu Beng is roped in to cover up the damage. Meanwhile, Margaret and Rosie unwittingly enrol themselves into the same knitting class. Chu Beng finally musters up the courage to strip and pose, but a series of errors culminate in more stripping than anyone bargained for.



Health Matters
Health really begins to matter in the Phua family when a medical check up reveals that Chu Kang has gout while Chu Beng is iron deficient. Rosie and Margaret find themselves on trying turf as Rosie dabbles in healthy cooking for Chu Kang and Margaret contends with the no less than terrifying ordeal of stir frying beef for Chu Beng.



SEASON 5

Toto Day
Kang, to his shock and amazement, wins the Toto grand prize of $ 10m ! Everyone starts making plans on how they’re going to spend it. But he bursts their bubble by declaring he’s keeping all the money for himself, closing down PCK Pte Ltd and moving to a seaside bungalow in Perth. The family slowly falls apart from greed and mistrust. And there is another minor complication. Every time Kang tries to collect his $ 10m winnings, he keeps getting knocked unconscious, and waking up to the very same day... over and over and over again. Kang’s curse is that only he realises it’s the same day being repeated. How will he ever get the money?



Lucky Luohan
Chu Kang complains about slow business despite the economic turn around. Rosie buys an expensive Luo Han fish to remedy the situation. Chu Kang becomes horrified by the fact that Chu Kang's dear Koi fish Mimi and Jasper will become jealous. Rosie believes in the Luo Han and seeks a 4D number from its markings, only problem is that she can't see the number and only Margaret can. Rosie starts to spoil the fish by buying premium aquarium and fish food. Oh, the life of a well-loved pet!



The Girl Next Door
Kang and Beng reminisce about Ting Ting (guest star Zoe Tay), the girl who used to live next door, and how she changed their lives. They both discover that they made the same promise to marry Ting Ting when they grew up, and end up arguing over who she would have chosen. Rosie and Margaret hire a private investigator to find her. They panic when they find out that Ting Ting is not only beautiful and successful but still single. They vow to make sure their husbands never get to meet Ting Ting. One day, Ting Ting shows up at their doorstop...



An Offer You Can't Refuse
A pressured Chu Kang inadvertently insults the Godfather, Vito Koh. In return for his life, Kang has to baby-sit the Godfather's 8-year old son Michael, for him. Ordinarily, looking after a little kid should be a stroll in the park for Chu Kang. But because Michael is the son of the ruthless Godfather. Chu Kang knows he has to keep both eyes on the boy - which is exactly what he doesn't do. Things come to a head when he leaves Michael in the care of the clueless King Kong and Ah Goon and the boy disappears.



SEASON 6

Phua Phua Baby
Rosie is pregnant ! As the family rejoices, Kang has to come to terms with the fact that he must now start visiting the gynae with Rosie. Kok Peng and Beng try to help Kang overcome his fear of doctors. Aloy's prelim results did not qualify him for JC and he fakes going to school, until Marge decides to do some investigation. Meanwhile, Bobo (Afdlin Shauki) works on his invention, the Robo-Bobo Quasimodo.



Bringing Up Ah Pa
Kang and Beng reminiscent about the past and how their father treated them. King Kong finds a lump in his left breast and suspects breast cancer.



The New Phua
The birth could be any day now. Betsy Foo (Patricia Mok) makes a surprise appearance and tries to secure a confinement nanny job with the Phuas. But she gets sidetracked by King Kong who hopes to rekindle their short-lived 'love affair'. Meanwhile, Magaret is intent on filming every aspect of the expectant mother and the birth, and starts annoying Rosie with a camera in her face. Beng has turned extremely kiasu and is in high gear getting Kang prepared for the birth. Beng regiments the trial runs with military precision and is dissatisfied with the timing. Kang manages to escape Beng's clutches and meets a client he hopes to secure in a multi-million dollar deal. Minutes after signing the contract, Rosie's water breaks and turns the well planned, well oiled, well run operation into pandemonium.



SEASON 7

He's The Wife
Chu Beng discovers that Margaret has accepted a job offer in New Zealand and is hurt the she did not tell him personally. Chu Kang encourages him to be a man and assert his husbandly rights.



Breath Of Fresh Air
Rosie tries to manage motherhood on top of the rusual housekeeping duties, and her slimwrap, mahjong and facials. Chu Kang is left eating instant mee, and losing clients because he has to look after the babies. Rosie finally gives in and allows Kang to hire a maid. But the maid Chu Kang hires turns out to be nothing Rosie expected a maid to be !



The Bengmobile
Chu Beng, tired of being constantly humiliated by Chu Kang every time he wants to borrow Kang's car, decides to secretly buy his own automobile. He loves it like a child and parks it a few doors away on the street, anything to keep the purchase from Kang. However, his secret is discovered by Rosie, Bobo and King Kong. They totally understand Beng's need for secrecy. Kang gets very petty and jealous when anyone buys anything new and shiny. They agree to keep Beng's secret from Kang, in return for many, tedious car rides, where Beng acts as their chauffer. The plans hit a dead end when Chu Kang uncovers Beng's new purchase (from the loose lipped Bobo and King Kong) and torments Beng in secret by hiding his new car's engine!



The Reunion
Guest stars future NMP Janice Koh as Margaret's sister Melissa
It's Chinese New Year, Kang devises an elaborate scheme to maximise Romeo and Crystal's ang pow takings. Margaret gets an enexpected visit from her sister Melissa, who makes a shocking request from her. Meanwhile Beng has to deal with an irritatingly polite hotel clerk.



SEASON 8

I was the executive producer of this season and wrote these three episodes.

Dunkin' Don'ts
Chu Kang builds a dunk tank for a funfair and ends up facing a very disgruntled ex-client.



Incredulous Tale
UTT from Incredible Tales introduces an incredible tale about Chu Kang and Rosie by bringing home a mysterious unconscious woman who may not be what she appears. Sergeant Dollah (Suhaimi Yusof) from Police and Thief investigates.



Under Another Roof
Chu Kang reunites with former clients Tan Ah Teck and Dolly. Guest stars Moses Lim, Koh Cheng Mun and Jocelyn Yeo.




EARLIER: Is 'Best of Phua Chu Kang Pte Ltd' on Netflix really the best? Maybe the chicken episode

Yes, Progress Singapore Party member Craig Teo is the guy from old 90s local sitcoms

So I chanced upon this on social media today:



I thought, hey, that guy looked familiar. Even the name Craig Teo sounded familiar

He looks like the guy who starred in local 90s sitcoms Happy Belly and Three Rooms.





So I googled him. It turns out he has his own SgWiki page: "Craig Teo, formerly known as Gregory Teo, is a Singaporean actor, presenter, and comedian."

It is him!

It appears that he is now a member of Dr Tan Cheng Bock's Progress Singapore Party (PSP), showing up in the party's photos and hosting its videos.











Good for him.

Only a few years ago, he starred as local forensic legend, Professor Chao Tzee Cheng, in the Channel 5 docudrama series Whispers Of The Dead for two seasons.







By then, he was billed as Craig Teo. Back in the 90s, it was Gregory Teo, which is what I remember him as.

Too bad he is not in the first batch of potential PSP candidates for the upcoming General Elections recently announced.



It would be a shame if the party doesn't field him as a candidate.

After all, it seems that being a former cast member of Happy Belly gives you a pretty good chance of getting elected.

Virus Vanguard aftermath: Paging VR Man, we need you now more than ever

Dear VR Man,

Where are you?

The last time we saw you was in 1998.



(I’m not counting your brief 2015 appearance in the Channel 5 animated series Heartland Hubby because you are not a cartoon – even though you were probably more suited for a kids’ show.)



Remember how in the apocalyptic post-credit scene of Avengers: Infinity War, Nick Fury desperately used his intergalactic pager to page Captain Marvel, whom he hadn’t seen since the 90s?



You are our Captain Marvel.

And you can consider what you’re reading now a page. (Not a web page even though it is. I mean a pager page.)

We need you, VR Man.

We are in a post-bubble tea/McDonald’s apocalypse and we are desperate for a superhero.

He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast and he's gotta be fresh from the fight.

So desperate that last week, our Government introduced its own superhero team, the Virus Vanguard, to fight the coronavirus.



And Singapore responded with a collective “Errrr…”

The team included MAWA Man, which reminds me a bit of you.

Like you, his mask doesn’t cover his nose and mouth, which means he may still get a $300 fine even if he wears his mask when he goes out.

Like you, he has an abbreviation and “Man” in his name.

He is called MAWA Man because he enforces safe-distancing and MAWA stands for Must Always Walk Alone.

That’s something he won’t have trouble doing since the Government has quickly distanced itself from him and his team.



MAWA is also a rebuttal to the song You’ll Never Walk Alone because MAWA Man hates Gerry And The Pacemakers. He prefers the Beatles like any sane person would.



Another similarity between you and MAWA Man is that he was as poorly received as your TV series was 22 years ago.

At least you lasted 13 episodes. The Virus Vanguard didn’t last even a day.

The misstep could have easily been sidestepped.

Another local TV character from the 90s, Phua Chu Kang has already been revived by the Government during this pandemic. Why not you too?



After all, the name recognition is already there, unlike with MAWA Man and gang.

Sure, many people may not have actually seen your show, but who hasn’t seen the 18-second YouTube video where you speed past two policemen so fast that you spin them right round, baby, right round, like a record, baby, right round round round?



Someone even started a Change.org petition to get former Mediacorp actor James Lye to play you again to fight Covid-19.

What else does Diana Ser’s husband have to do these days anyway? Play Animal Crossing, drink dalgona coffee and sing Home from the balcony?

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Diana Ser 徐秀盈 (@dianaserlye) on Apr 15, 2020 at 2:05am PDT

The petition says:

“In these uncertain times, we need a true Singaporean Hero to teach us right from wrong and how to wear a mask and not be a Covidiot.

“We need VR Man now, more than ever.”

I agree – except for needing you to teach us how to wear a mask because, you know, your mask covers the wrong part of your face.

The petition has 24 signatures.

Well, it was started only over a week ago.



Wait, I just noticed something. The petition was started by… “VR Man”?

You mean you started your own petition to bring yourself back?

Heehee heehee heeheehee.

We may have a chance against Thanos, I mean, the coronavirus after all.

I guess it’s now all up to James Lye.

Is he a Man U fan?

- Published in The New Paper, 27 April 2020

EARLIER: Why VR Man will outlive us all

Singapore’s coronavirus superheroes no match for upset Liverpool football fans https://t.co/DDEhawAxpo

— SCMP News (@SCMPNews) April 20, 2020

Singapore in new Marvel series The Falcon And The Winter Soldier? Maybe, sort of, not really

Dear Marvel,

Madripoor? Really?

I’m not a big comic book nerd, but I’m a fan of your movies, even though I didn’t like Avengers: Endgame despite it becoming the biggest box-office hit ever. (I mean, time travel? That’s Legends Of Tomorrow territory.)



I know you’re coming out with a Disney+ miniseries later this year called The Falcon And The Winter Soldier, which is a follow-up to the movie I dislike so much.

Now I have another reason to hate-watch the new show.

Last month, someone tweeted a photo purportedly of a set in The Falcon And The Winter Soldier and caused a bit of a stir online.

Spotted on a wall in the photo is a symbol comprising a crescent, a star and a lion’s head that looks very familiar to Singaporeans.

Is that what’s at Wimblish tonight? I kept looking up from my desk at work to see this table covered with… squid? pic.twitter.com/cPy0QF1ksp

— Luke Hatcher (@lukeman) December 4, 2019

The symbol has been identified as the flag of the fictional Pacific island nation of Madripoor.

It is a made-up country like Black Panther’s Wakanda, except it is in South-east Asia, not Africa, and has never been listed as a free-trade partner by the non-fictional US Department of Agriculture.

Also, nobody says: “Madripoor forever.”



You first introduced Madripoor in a 1985 issue of New Mutants (an off-shoot of the X-Men), describing it as a “haven of world-class pirates, crooks and assorted lesser scoundrels”.



Could Madripoor have been inspired by Singapore?

Well, we did have pirates in 1985 – music pirates. That was who I bought my pirated cassette from to listen to Tarzan Boy by Baltimora.



While Madripoor appeared in various Marvel comics over the decades, the Singapore connection only became blatant more recently with the 2012 Hawkeye comic series.

An isuue featured the Madripoor Pearl, a “luxury hotel” overlooking Madripoor Bay. It has a mall and casino, and looks a lot like our Marina Bay Sands, which overlooks Marina Bay and has a mall and casino.

You might as well have thrown in a Merlion statue while you were at it. (That’s a statue of a lion with a tail of a fish and not a fish with a tail of a lion in case you’re wondering.)

What makes it even more confusing is that Singapore also exists in the Marvel comic book universe.

Of course, it is possible that being the lawless place that it is, Madripoor stole the architectural design of Marina Bay Sands from Singapore for the Madripoor Pearl.

Who knows? There could also be a counterfeit Jewel in the Madripoor airport with a long queue for Shake Shack.



And now we have the Madripoor flag in The Falcon And The Winter Soldier set photo.

You know why the lion’s head looks so familiar to us?

Because that’s our lion’s head symbol, which represents Singapore!

How can you use our symbol as part of a flag of another country? Even a fictional one.

Our National Heritage Board website says: “Any Singaporean individual, organisation or company may use the Lion Head Symbol to identify with the country.”

Not: “Any Marvel individual, organisation or company may use the Lion Head Symbol to identify with the country Madripoor.”

Ironically, you have turned the symbol for the country where the fictional Crazy Rich Asians is set into an emblem of a fictional country with a name that has “poor” in it.

Even weirder, the “island” that the city-state of Madripoor is built on is revealed in the comics to be the head of a mega dragon the size of Japan.



So shouldn’t the flag of Madripoor have a dragon’s head instead of lion’s head?

But I know it’s probably too late for you to change it.

Just do me one favour – bring back Baby Yoda.



Oops, sorry. That’s a different Disney+ show.

- Published in The New Paper, 6 January 2020

Toggled: I watched Joanne Peh's 'nude' scene in Last Madame and I feel so dirty now

Okay, I fell for it.

When I read that Mediacorp actress Joanne Peh was going nude for the first time in a drama, Last Madame, I was curious enough to want to watch the show.

Yes, “curious”. That was it.



At first, I thought it’s a Channel 8 drama series, but then I learnt it’s in English.

Oh, so it’s on Channel 5?

Wrong. It’s on Toggle, sort of like Mediacorp’s version of Netflix except nobody says “Toggle and chill”.

All 12 half-hour episodes of the M18-rated series dropped last Thursday for you to binge and purge.

On the day of release, Peh posted a blurry photo on Instagram with the warnings “Mature content” and “Restricted access”. What a tease!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Joanne Peh (@joannepeh) on Sep 25, 2019 at 6:44pm PDT

When you swipe left, you can see a still from Last Madame of Peh and co-star Jeff Chou topless in bed but not showing much, just a lot of bare shoulders.

I guess if you want to see more, you have to watch the show.

Peh, a mama of two who plays a mamasan in the drama, wrote on Insta:

“It took me a long time to decide if I would go nude for our bed scene in Last Madame. A story set in a brothel in the 1930s, we can’t shy away from sex.”

The 36-year-old ex-girlfriend of Bobby Tonelli said she made the right decision because “showing two bodies moving in unison captured the passions and inner conflict of the two characters so vividly, it pushed the show to a different level”.

“Two bodies moving in unison”? I couldn’t create my free Toggle account fast enough.

Again, I was just curious. Perhaps a little too eagerly so.

I made the mistake of watching the whole of the first episode before realising the “bodies moving in unison” scene is not in the first episode. That was 36 minutes of my life I will never get back. (The episodes are laboriously longer than publicised.)

I went online and found out that the sought-after nude scene is in the ninth episode after the 23-minute mark.

Here’s what you see.

It starts with a close-up of clasping hands before fading to black.



Then a close-up of Chou kissing Peh’s upper lip, which is how actors in local shows pretend to kiss each other on the mouth without actually kissing. No tongue.



Another fade to black.

Next, a close-up of him kissing down the side of her waist and some sort of weird puncture wound or a very scary mosquito bite above her right hip.



And yet another fade to black.

The scene continues with a few unrevealing shots of them “moving in unison” and breathing heavily interspersed with even more fade-to-black transitions.







It’s over in just over a minute (no reflection on Chou, I’m sure) and half of it is a black screen. That’s all we get for M18?

I now suspect the M18 rating is just for all the smoking in the first scene of the first episode.



Even Peh wanted more nakedness.

Asked about the scene by 8 Days magazine, she said:

“When the final cut came out on Toggle, I was, mmm, slightly disappointed. I think we could really have shown a little bit more probably, because no body parts were shown.”

Actually, body parts are shown – hands, hips, plenty of shoulders – just not the right ones.

So why do I feel so dirty after watching the scene?

Mrs Qi Yiwu used the promise of nudity to appeal to my basest instinct – curiosity – and I let her.

I should have known better. It was the oldest trick in the book. Sex sells.

I wonder how many other people fell for it too and created a Toggle account they will never use again.

If I didn’t have the potential to excel in life, I should be punished by being forced to watch all 12 episodes of Last Madame.

Fade to black.

- Published in The New Paper, 30 September 2019

Crushed like a cockroach: Crazy Rich Asians trailer reminds me of Masters Of The Sea

A crazy rich family in Singapore. A domineering matriarch.

Inconsistent accents. A show starring an Asian-American.

And Tan Kheng Hua.

What is this?

The trailer for the film adaption of Singaporean Kevin Kwan’s bestselling novel, Crazy Rich Asians, starring Constance Wu from US sitcom Fresh Off The Boat?

Or Masters Of The Sea?

No wonder Singaporeans hate the Crazy Rich Asians trailer.

Singaporeans hated Masters Of The Sea too.



For those of you who weren’t born when Masters Of The Sea premiered on Channel 5 to much derision in 1994 or too young to remember Singapore’s first locally-produced English-language TV drama series, lucky you.

It was so long ago Mediacorp wasn’t even called Television Corporation of Singapore yet. It was still Singapore Broadcasting Corporation (SBC).

I should know. I was working at SBC at the time as a research writer on a variety show called Live On 5 hosted by a nobody named Gurmit Singh.



You know Wong Lilin?

The ex-wife of Allan Wu was in the news last week when The Straits Times reported that she will be stepping down from her role as executive director of the Public Hygiene Council after less than a year in the job.

ST helpfully added that the former actress had no academic or work experience in the area of public hygiene before getting the job.

Wong was described as being best known for starring in the old Channel 5 cop show Triple Nine, but her first big role was in Masters Of The Sea.



That goes for Ng Chin Han as well. Who knew then the actor would later be in such Hollywood blockbusters as The Dark Knight and Captain America: Winter Soldier? He is one Singaporean who should be in Crazy Rich Asian but isn’t.

Neither Wong nor Chin Han was the star of Masters Of The Sea, though.

Because Masters Of The Sea was Singapore’s first English-language TV drama series, of course SBC hired an Asian-American named Donald Li to play the male lead since, you know, no English-speaking Singaporean actor was good enough at the time.

That is, until the second season (yes, there was a second season) when Li left the show and local actor Lim Kay Tong took over as the lead before redeeming himself later in the less hated Growing Up.

The executive producer of Masters Of The Sea was also American, a 60something woman named Joanne Brough, whose credits included 80s soaps Knots Landing, Falcon Crest and Dallas, which Masters Of The Sea was modelled after.



So it was a miracle that Masters Of The Sea’s domineering matriarch wasn’t played by Barbara Bel Geddes but an actual Singaporean, Margaret Chan.



While many remember Chan for the line “I’ll crush you like a cockroach”, what I recall she actually said was “Crush him under your foot like you would a cockroach” because in those pre-Phua Chu Kang days, SBC was fastidious in ensuring that the English spoken in all local productions was even better than the Queen’s.

No Singlish allowed.

And that is the big reason Singaporeans hated Masters Of Sea then and why we hate the Crazy Rich Asians trailer now.

Even though both are supposedly set in Singapore, there’s very little we can relate to as Singaporean.

Too foreign. Not representative enough of the real Singapore.



And judging by some of the local shows on Channel 5 in the 24 years since Masters Of The Sea, it appears that Mediacorp didn’t quite learn its lesson.

At least Crazy Rich Asians has the excuse of being made primarily for the US market.

Masters Of The Sea didn’t.

Though apparently, it was shown on Indonesian TV dubbed in Bahasa Indonesia.

You’re welcome, Indonesia.

Oh yah, did I mention Tan Kheng Hua was in Masters Of The Sea too?

- Published in The New Paper, 30 April 2018




UPDATE: Crazy Rich Asians should have been called High SES Chinese & starred Scarlett Johansson

When your old TV shows come back to haunt you like Fiona Xie's ghost in Maggi & Me

Yesterday, I received this message from someone I don't know via Instagram (of all things):

Hi there sir. Forgive me i am super desperate to find out what happened to the ending of the tv series "maggie and me" haha ... can i have an explanation for it please ?

So apparently, this person watched this old Channel 5 comedy series Maggi & Me starring Fiona Xie and Adrian Pang (probably on Toggle), got really into it but was stumped by the series finale, saw my name under Executive Producer in the credits, found my Instagram account and here we are.



I didn’t reply because I honestly don’t remember much of the show.

I mean, the final episode aired almost 10 years ago in February 2008 and most people nowadays probably don't even know the show even existed.

But like Xie’s eponymous ghost character in the show, Maggi & Me has returned to haunt me.

And that wasn't the only one of my old shows that came back from the dead recently.

Anyone remember Ah Girl?

The sitcom ran for three seasons starting in 2001 on TVWorks, which later became Channel i, which later became defunct.

I created the show but quit the production after writing a few episodes.

Then last August, I got an email from the star of Ah Girl herself, Cynthia Lee MacQuarrie:

Hi SM,

How have you been? It's Cynthia, aka Ah Girl. I thought you left the country and I tried looking for you on Facebook and voila, someone told me where to find you! I am writing because someone is interested in producing Ah Girl the movie and wondering if you would be interested to be part of it by writing it please? If the rights is still owned, then we would use a different name/title.

What say you? Let me know your thoughts please? We could meet up and have a chat about it.

OK, there's a lot to unpack here.

SURPRISE 1

I haven't seen or spoken to Cynthia since the early 2000s and I'm shocked she even remembers me.

SURPRISE 2

She thought I left the country? Am I so low-key? I thought I was this semi-famous newspaper columnist. Well, that was humbling.

SURPRISE 3

She tried looking for me on Facebook and someone had to tell her where to find me. Really? She could just Google my name and be directed to this blog with all my social media links. I mean, even the Maggi & Me person found me on Instagram.

SURPRISE 4

Someone is interested in producing Ah Girl the movie? I would be less shocked if someone wanted to do a Maggi & Me movie.

Anyway, because of my bad experience with the Phua Chu Kang movie, I was reluctant to write another movie based on a sitcom and I told her so in my reply to her.

But she sorta insisted I should be involved and so I agreed to meet the producer and give my input - and I haven't heard from Cynthia since.

Which is just as well.

Another old Channel 5 show that I worked on years ago that seems to be having some sort of after-life is Shiver. I was surprised to come across these two Reddit threads on the 1997 anthology series recently:

Does anyone remember this old Ch5 TV show called Shiver?

Anyway to watch an old TV show 'Shiver' internationally?

I was especially delighted that a Shiver episode I wrote (and acted in) about people trapped in a lift was discussed in the earlier thread.



Future MP Darryl David was in it with me.



I remember people hated Shiver (for which I wrote eight episodes) when it first aired, but now there appears to be some weird nostalgia for it, thanks to kids who saw it back then and are now grown up.

Yeah, that makes me feel old.

Ironically, Shiver may be older than Maggi & Me and Ah Girl, but it's the better remembered show.

I guess it could be because more people watched TV in the earlier days.

Someone has yet to send me an Instagram message about that lift episode, though.