Warning from the future: It's not too late to prevent the robot apocalypse

Dear Singaporeans of 2020,

I’m sending you this urgent message from the future to warn you.

Listen to me if you want to live.

In my timeline, robots have taken over. They are sovereign. A robot is not a person. It’s “I, robot”, not “we, the people”.



That’s why robots don’t need to wear a mask when they go to the market.

Being machines, they are not afraid of any virus. They have Norton Antivirus pre-installed whether you want it or not.

It’s the robot apocalypse now for us.

I guess I should be grateful they haven’t turned us into batteries. Yet.



By the way, here in the future, cinemas have reopened and we have seen The Matrix 4. It’s still not as good as the original movie. Keanu Reeves hasn’t aged a day though.

But even John Wick couldn’t save us from the robot apocalypse.

We didn’t see it coming. Because of the Covid-19 pandemic, we were expecting a zombie apocalypse.



So we worried about the wrong apocalypse.

We should have paid less attention to The Walking Dead and more to The Terminator sequels, even the lousy ones after Judgment Day.



We became over-reliant on robots because of the coronavirus.

And I’m not just talking about the Black Mirror robot dog unleashed in Bishan-Ang Mo Kio Park to “assist safe distancing efforts”.

A less canine-like robot was earlier deployed in Bedok Reservoir to tell humans not to loiter in the park.



A hound of the Boston Dynamics-villes was also used at the Changi Exhibition Centre community isolation facility to deliver essential items such as medicine to patients.



As the pandemic dragged on, more robots appeared.

Before we knew it, the machines were taking over the world.



But that’s just in my timeline.

The good news is that it’s still not too late for you to change your timeline and stop the robot apocalypse from happening.

Here is what you must do.

Stay home. Go out only when necessary.

If you do go out, wear a mask and practise safe distancing without requiring a robot dog to remind you.

Don’t verbally abuse National Environmental Agency enforcement officers.

And if you go to court for verbally abusing them, don’t wear your mask over your eyes because you are not VR Man.

Just because you can’t see us doesn’t mean we can’t see you.

Is it any wonder the robots won?

You’re in the endgame now.

Basically, to prevent the robot apocalypse, just don’t do anything that could get you featured on the SG Covidiots Facebook page and possibly remanded at the Institute of Mental Health.

If everyone follows these instructions, the sooner you can say “Hasta la vista, baby” to the coronavirus and the sooner the robots can go back to vacuuming our floors.



Otherwise, you will end up in the same apocalyptic future I’m living in now, where I have to vacuum my own damn floor.

The horror! The horror!

- Published in The New Paper, 11 May 2020

This is how they stop us: Storming ST Kinetics for aliens? Sorry, ST Kinetics doesn't exist

I’m spacing out.

What year is this? 2019 or 1999?

Is that why people are suddenly talking about extraterrestrials like it’s pre-Y2K when we were obsessing over The X-Files on TV? The show was like the Stranger Things of the 90s but with more paranoia and less Winona Ryder.

Or is it 1969?

Is that why I’m seeing all this news about the first man on the moon? Oh, it’s the 50th anniversary.



Ironic, isn’t it? We can put a man on the moon, but we still can’t use bitcoin to hire a hitman on the Dark Web to kill our ex-lover’s boyfriend without getting caught.

But the lunar landing’s golden jubilee is not why we suddenly have celestial beings on our minds.

Nor is it due to Men In Black International because that movie was so last month and not very good.



No, aliens are cool again thanks to a joke Facebook page called “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All Of Us”, which went viral last week like a certain app that can make your face look old and send your personal data to the Russians.

Area 51 is a classified US Air Force facility where conspiracy theorists believe the US government is secretly doing stuff with flying saucers and their other-worldly occupants.

You would know that if you’ve watched The X-Files.

Or Independence Day. Or Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull.

Or the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode, “Little Green Men”.



More than 1.8 million users have supposedly confirmed on the Facebook page that they are “going” to “storm Area 51” on Sept 20.

Although I’m one of the 1.8 million, it may shock you to learn that I may not actually go. The main reason is Area 51 is in America, which is very far.

Fortunately, for those in Singapore, someone has created a “Storm ST Kinetics, They Can’t Stop All Of Us” Facebook event page.

ST Kinetics is in Boon Lay, which is much closer.



Why ST Kinetics? Because it manufactures advanced military products for the Singapore Government, possibly using alien technology, who knows?

The event page has these instructions:

“We will all meet up at the ST Kinetics Main Entrance and coordinate our entry. If we do our contact drills, we can dodge all their SAR21s and Terrexes. Let’s see them aliens.”

More than 1,700 have indicated that they’re “going”. More than 3,400 are “interested”.

It’s telling that while Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong has warned us about using FaceApp, he has yet to warn us against storming ST Kinetics.



But before committing, I messaged a friend who works at ST Electronics to find out whether he can provide any inside intel on ST Kinetics since both companies are under Singapore Technologies, which is what ST stands for.

His reply shook me to the core of my very soul.

“No more ST Kinetics,” he wrote.

Reality shifted. It was as if I was in an alternate universe.

An entire company just warped itself out of existence to escape being stormed by 1,700 alien hunters? Maybe ST Kinetics does have UFO tech and really doesn’t us to know about it.

Actually, as my friend explained, ST Kinetics has been renamed ST Engineering Land Systems since June last year. Just as the company he works for has been renamed ST Engineering Electronics.

The confusion arises because if you search for “ST Kinetics” online, much of the information has not been updated, including on Wikipedia and Google Maps.

Somehow, “Storm ST Engineering Land Systems” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

But the only way you can storm ST Kinetics on Sept 20 now is if you build a time machine using alien technology and travel back two years to storm ST Kinetics on Sept 20, 2017.

I sent my friend a link to an article about the “Storm ST Kinetics” page and he was intrigued.

He messaged back: “Hope my pass can sneak in…”

My hero! He must have realised that just because ST Kinetics isn’t called ST Kinetics any more, it doesn’t mean the arms manufacturer isn’t hiding alien secrets.

In the end, one man may accomplish what 1,700 or 1.8 million can’t. No storming required.

The truth is out there in Jalan Boon Lay.

- Published in The New Paper, 22 July 2019




UPDATE: The “Storm ST Kinetics, They Can’t Stop All Of Us” Facebook event page has been renamed “Thoughts & Prayers For Aliens At ST Kinetics” with this note:

As you all know, ST Kinetics is no 🙅‍♂️ Hong Lim Park so storming ST Kinetics counts as unlawful assembly.

As such, let us put our hearts 💕 and minds 🧠 together as one 👽 alien loving congregation to pray 🙏 for the hearts and souls of the trapped aliens living within the confines of those grey walls.

We believe in the great power 💪 of thoughts and prayers to right all wrongs in our society and if it doesn't work maybe we can shrug it off as not part of some divine will 🤷‍♂️ hopefully, if the divine power be willing, allow us to clap some alien cheeks along the way.

comment "thoughts and prayers 🙏" to send virtual help to these poor aliens. 1 like = 1 thought, 1 share = 1000 prayers.

Fact-checking The Alternative View's post about K F Seetoh, Jewel and me

So The Alternative View posted this yesterday:



Since my name appears in the post, I feel I need to fact-check it line by line.

First line:

In May, after F&B entrepreneur K.F. Seetoh shared a post showing the dwindling crowds at Jewel after the initial hype ... PAP trolls and cronies were quick to bark that it was "fake news" as he had gone on a weekday morning.

For the most part, this is true... except...

It's impossible to confirm whether it was "PAP trolls and cronies" who were "quick to bark". It could be just people wanting to get all the facts right.

Also, I want to point out that even quicker were the people who immediately derided Jewel as a "white elephant" in response to Seetoh's post.

It was only later when commenters started questioning what time Seetoh's photos were taken that he revealed that it was at 9.30am.

So while he did share a post "showing the dwindling crowds at Jewel after the initial hype", Seetoh subsequently amended his post to add that he was referring specifically to "pre-opening" hours.

He also added: "I see the usual crowds closer to opening and regular hours..."

Which contradicts the "dwindling crowds" claim in The Alternative View post.

Granted, Seetoh also added "The decline is slow and real", but this is stating the obvious because of course the crowds would decrease from opening day. At least "the decline is slow" rather than fast.

Finally, he added: "I feel for the tenants, esp the 24/7 ones."

So apparently, this was what his post was really about, not "dwindling crowds" per se. In a reply to a comment, Seetoh wrote: “If nobody at some hrs..why make them open 24/7 in these depressed manpower conditions.”

Which I guess is a fair point.

Here is Seetoh's post:



Second line:

One notorious IB even went on a weekend to "prove" him wrong.

This is accompanied by sceenshots of my column on The New Paper website with the headline: "S M Ong: Fake news? Explaining K.F. Seetoh's Jewel post".

I'm not an "IB" if it means what I think it means. As in I am not a member of the PAP Internet Brigade, paid to rebut anti-PAP views online.

I'm just a guy who every two weeks, has to come up with something to write about in 500-700 words for my column and that week, Seetoh's Jewel post was it.

In fact, I considered headlining the article: "Fake news? Defending K.F. Seetoh's Jewel post", but decided to go for something more neutral instead. If I had stuck with my orginal headline, I probably wouldn't have to write this blog post. People mostly just read headlines anyway.

You may argue that simply by writing for The New Paper, I’m an IB by default. If that is your perception, no amount of denial on my part is going to make a difference. I could point to some not so pro-establishment articles I have written, but who cares?

As for whether I'm "notorious", that's an opinion and I'm flattered that someone thinks I am.



And I didn't go to Jewel "on a weekend". As I wrote in my column, I went on a Friday afternoon, which is close to the weekend, but not technically the weekend yet.

Also, I went to Jewel not "to 'prove' him wrong".

As mentioned above, Seetoh already wrote in his post: "I see the usual crowds closer to opening and regular hours..."

So if anything, I went to Jewel to prove him right.

Third line:

But now PAP's own MSM are reporting that indeed the hype at Jewel appears to be dying down.

This is accompanied by screenshots of two Today reports:

• Restaurants on level 5 of Jewel Changi Airport hit hard by requirement to stay open till 3am
• Jewel effect wearing off? Some F&B outlets at Changi Airport say business has dipped, after initial boost

Is Today "PAP's own MSM"? Not factual but I would call it a fair assertion. (See "Here Today, gone tomorrow: Remember the time Mr Brown's column got suspended?")

Is Today "reporting that indeed the hype at appears to be dying down"? Well, no and sorta maybe.

The most recent article, which was published on Friday, is about how restaurants on level 5 of Jewel have little or no business after midnight. This jibes with Seetoh's point that tenants shouldn't be required to open 24/7.

But it has nothing to do with the hype dying down.

Yes, the other Today article can be loosely described as about the dying hype, but it's more specifically about how businesses in the other airport terminals are affected, not Jewel itself.

Moreover, the article was published on May 19, which was before my column (May 27) and before Seetoh's post (May 22).

So it's a bit disingenuous to claim that "now PAP's own MSM are reporting that indeed the hype at appears to be dying down". It’s not “now”. It was four weeks ago.

Also, I just want to say there's nothing scandalous about the hype dying down anyway. That's the nature of hype.

No one expects the crowds to be as big as when Jewel first opened.

But when I was there two days after Seetoh's post, it was still pretty damn crowded.

Some businesses will do better than others. Yes, opening 24 hours or till 3am is probably not a great idea.

And maybe one day, Jewel will become a ghost town which some are eagerly looking for signs for as proof of PAP's ineptitude.

But that day isn't here yet.



Elsewhere in The Alternative View post, there's this line:

One notorious but brainless IB even went on a weekend to join the queue for one of the restaurants and claim that Seetoh was putting out fake news.

I've already addressed the "Notorious" and "IB" part. As for "brainless", yeah, I wish I could be smarter and avoided this contretemps.

In my column, I didn't mention joining any queue. I just sort of said I saw a lot of people in Jewel. And I didn't "claim that Seetoh was putting out fake news". I just reported that one person commenting on Seetoh's post warned that the post may be considered fake news and I expanded on it.

I swear.

Take it from the Notorious S M Ong.




EARLIER: Fake news? Are there no more queues at Shake Shack in Jewel as K F Seetoh seems to claim?

Someone on Carousell wanted to buy my My Melody holder for $1,001? Real or not?

As I wrote in my column, I listed my McDonald's My Melody holder for sale on Carousell for $1,001.



On Monday, I received a Carousell chat message from someone called blurt_apparels_zambrut:



Of course, I was suspicious. What sane person would pay $1,001 for the thing?

But I accepted what the person wrote in good faith. So I replied:




It all seemed to easy. But if you have bought or sold anything on Carousell before, you should know that if you want to confirm buying something, you have to click or tap the MAKE OFFER button. My would-be buyer had not done that.

Using the button allows both buyer and seller to provide feedback on each other on the tranaction.

So I messaged him:



At this point, I still wasn't if the buyer was for real, but I was curious enough to play along to see how far it would go.

What was the worst that could happen? He doesn’t show up and it was all a prank?

His (I assume he's male) Carousell profile seemed legit:



The feedback on him is positive:



And he even has a Facebook page.

So I went to Braddell MRT station on time and this was our chat:



I never heard from him again.

Wow.

So this person went so far as to string me along for five more minutes with one last message before cutting me off.

As much as I half expected it, I felt duped. My faith in humanity was destroyed.

Did he feel justified in pranking me because my $1,001 Carousell listing came across as a joke?

I could easily retaliate against him since his Carousell and Facebook profiles are public.

But I just took it as a lesson learnt.

Next time someone wants to buy from me, I will insist that the person use the MAKE OFFER button.

And I couldn’t believe what happened next.

Within half an hour, someone used the MAKE OFFER button and offered me $800 for the My Melody holder.



The catch is that I had to deliver it to him right away.



At this point, I assumed it was another prank. He may be in cahoots with the first guy since it came so soon after the first prank. It may even be the same guy.

It was as if he knew I wouldn’t fall for it again unless he used the MAKE OFFER button.

I declined the offer.



So he raised his offer. Twice.



Now it really looked like a prank. So I stopped responding to him.

To my amazement, two hours later, he actually sent me an angry message for not responding to him.



And that was the end of that.

What a stressful day.

Someone commented on my Carousell listing: "His intention is not to sell the Melody but to promote his blog via Carousell by linking his blog website in the one & only listing."

That would mean I went through a lot of trouble just to promote this blog.

Look, if anyone is really willing to pay $1,001 for my My Melody, I would be insane to say no.

But after what happened, I just can't trust people any more.


EARLIER: I'm selling my McDonald's My Melody holder on Carousell for $1,001

Whoops! Am I a cyberbully? It's a Syn (Media Literacy Council not very media-literate)

I think I may be a cyberbully.

At least that’s what the Media Literacy Council (MLC) has led me to believe.

Last Thursday, MLC posted on Facebook a series of illustrations for parents under the heading “Signs your child is a cyberbully”.



The first sign is “He/she quickly switches screens or closes programs when you walk by”.

Oh, no. That’s what I do whenever my wife walks by while I’m watching a Blackpink video.



The second sign is “Laughs excessively while using the computer”.

Oh, no. That’s what I do sometimes during a Blackpink video.

The third sign is “Get unusually upset if he/she cannot use the computer”.

Oh, no. That’s what happens to me when my wife bans me from using the computer because I watch too many Blackpink videos.

I’m a cyberbully!



But the council’s Facebook post was criticised for being “simplistic” and “disconnected from internet culture”.

One commenter wrote:

“For something called the media literacy council you guys aren’t very literate in new media hahaha. Confirm run by old uncles and aunties who pretend that they understand youths but don’t. Better ask ah boy or ah girl to teach you how to book on the facebooks and gram on the instagrams.”

A little history. The MLC was formed in 2012 by the Government to “actively develop public education programmes that will help the public navigate media, especially the Internet, safely and responsibly”.

But last week, instead of MLC educating the public about the Internet, it seemed the public was educating the MLC.

In response to the comments, the senior citizens of the council posted a mea culpa of sorts on Friday:

“WHOOPS! We’ve heard you. Our post meant to give generic examples to describe a cyber-bully, but we should have probably included some specific descriptions in the post. We’ll follow up on this asap!”

That wasn’t well received either.

Someone commented:

“Still reads like someone doesn’t want to fully admit how incorrect the post was, and tries to make it a ‘joke’ to save face.”

But more importantly, what I want to know is – am I a cyberbully or not?

Confession: The MLC post is not the only reason I think I may be a cyberbully.

Anyone remember Mr Cuthbert Syn? Probably not.

Three years ago, he became famous (or infamous) after a picture of him in a Reserved seat on the train went viral.

Asked to give up his seat to a woman carrying a baby, he refused and reportedly said: “It’s my choice and I’m tired after work.”



He later explained to The Straits Times: “I’m usually a shy person who will give up his seat to those in need. But I had worked late and was feeling tired and unwell last night.”

Vilified online, Mr Syn was also mocked for his weight and receding hairline.

So I wrote an article in The New Paper that said it was wrong to fat-shame and bald-shame the man.



That was in 2015.

Last year, I was taken aback to see an e-mail in my inbox with the subject line: “Letter of Demand - To remove article on website”.

It was from Mr Syn.

He wrote:

“I would want the article to be removed immediately. As this has caused me a lot of distress since 2015, especially when I am unwell due to a heart disease.

Under the Protection of Harassment Act (POHA), your article is an offence.

Legal action will be taken if the article is not removed.”

Wait, what?

In the first place, it had been two years since he went viral. No one is interested in reading about him any more. He was old news.

Second, my article was actually kinda defending him. And this was the thanks I got?

Third, even though my article can no longer be found online, other articles about him abound on the web, including The Straits Times report I mentioned earlier.



Last and not least, why bring up the Protection from (not “of”) Harassment Act? The 2014 law was designed to make cyberbullying a criminal offence.

Was I cyberbullying Mr Syn?

Or was he the one cyberbullying me by threatening legal action?

MLC is no help.

I wish my wife would let me use the computer so that I can Google for more information and definitely not watch any more Blackpink videos.

Fortunately, I still have my iPhone. Jisoo is so pretty, even on the smaller screen.

- Published in The New Paper, 29 October 2018

Higher or lower SES? Safra, Scoot turn controversy into marketing opportunity

You know what’s worse than fake news appearing on my Facebook newsfeed?

Confusing news.

Okay, maybe the sponsored post by Safra I saw last week promoting its roadshow wasn’t exactly news, but I was certainly confused by it.



The post showed two pictures side by side of a guy holding a Safra membership card.

One picture was labelled “Higher SES”. The other was labelled “Lower SES”.

At first, I was thrown off by the abbreviation, SES, since it obviously couldn’t be a reference to the K-pop group SES, which I had never heard of.



Then I realised SES stands for socio-economic status, which, by now, Safra expects everyone to know after the study guidebook controversy last week.

The book in question is, of course, the Complete Guide To GCE O-Level Social Studies Volume 1.

Someone on Facebook posted that he was “appalled” by how the book defined people of lower SES as football-playing, hawker centre food-eating Singlish speakers who work part-time jobs during school holidays.

People of higher SES, on the other hand, are golf-playing, expensive restaurant-dining formal English speakers who go on annual holidays.

The post went viral and the Ministry of Education quickly distanced itself from the book by saying the study guide is not on the ministry’s approved textbook list.

This from the ministry that created the educational divide by separating children into Express and Normal streams.



Anyway, one problem I have with the way the book differentiates people of higher SES and people of lower SES is that it is inaccurate and incomplete.

For example, the book left out that people of higher SES drive Ferraris whereas people of lower SES get slapped by people who drive Ferraris.



Also, people of higher SES shout obscenities at McDonald’s employees over ice cream whereas people of lower SES shout obscenities at police officers after beating up people in Geylang.





It would have been understandable if it were over McDonald’s chocolate pie.

But clearly, there is a distinction between higher and lower SES, which was why I found the Safra post so confusing.

There was no difference that I could discern between Safra membership card labelled “Higher SES” and the one labelled “Lower SES”.

Was I missing something?

Apparently, one man’s controversy is another’s marketing opportunity as I also saw similar Facebook posts by Scoot and Holiday Inn Express Singapore Katong where the traits for both the higher and lower SES are identical.





Oh. I think I get it now.

So what Safra was trying to say (along with Scoot and Holiday Inn) is that regardless of your SES, we’re all the same?

I must remember that the next time I see a BMW taking up two parking spaces.

Please excuse my eye roll.

- Published in The New Paper, 19 March 2018

Out of reach: I've never heard of these influencers MOF paid to promote the Budget

What’s the big deal?

So what if MOF paid social media influencers for mentions?

Why is this news?

Restaurants do this all the time.

I went to MOF My Izakaya in Lot One Shoppers’ Mall in Choa Chu Kang a few years ago.



It was okay, I guess. I’m just not into Japanese food.

Huh?

What do you mean MOF doesn’t stand for Ministry Of Food?

Did the recent cold weather freeze your brain permanently?

Let me show you. M stands for Ministry. O stands for Of. F stands for Food.

Hence and therefore, MOF stands for Ministry Of Food.

What? MOF stands for Ministry of Finance?

Does it have an outlet in Lot One?

Wait, you mean Ministry of Finance, the actual ministry?

Since when did the Ministry of Finance get into the F&B business?

The Ministry of Finance wasn’t promoting a restaurant but the Budget?

The Singapore Budget?

Why would the Budget need promoting? It’s a Budget. Not a Jack Neo movie.

Though the Budget may have more entertainment value.

I just checked the Singapore Budget website.

There’s even a Budget 2018 logo with this overbaked design write-up:

“The warm shade of salmon pink represents our pursuit of a caring and inclusive society, where Singaporeans are free to pursue their dreams and aspirations.

“The four hearts come together to form the logo that symbolises a united Singapore, undivided by our differences and bonded by a common determination to overcome challenges ahead.

“The family at the centre reminds us that our families and friends will always be at the heart of what we do, no matter how far we progress as a nation.”

I think Budget 2018 may have too much budget.

What next? A Funko Pop figure of Finance Minister Heng Swee Keat?

Influencers could just be the beginning.

According to The Straits Times article:

“In an effort to reach out to younger Singaporeans, the Ministry of Finance (MOF) has paid for over 50 social media ‘influencers’ to post on Instagram to promote the Budget process.”

Notice the subtle shade ST threw on the influencers by putting quote marks around the word “influencers”. Burn!

The ST report continued:

“At least 30 posts by these young social media users have popped up since December last year, asking viewers to visit the Budget website to learn more about the Budget, or to share their feedback with government feedback unit Reach on its website and at its physical ‘listening posts’ this month.”

Ohhh, so it’s not to promote the Budget per se, but to get younger Singaporeans to participate in the Budget process. Now I understand.

Did MOF get local social media stars like Xiaxue and Mr Brown?

No, MOF got such influencers as Shanel Lim, Chelsea Teng and Royce Lee.

In preparation for Budget 2018, REACH has organised Pre-Budget 2018 Listening Points across Singapore. These Listening Points are easily accessible, open booths for Singaporeans to give their views in person 🙋🏻‍♂️ Do join me at today’s Listening Point from now till 2.00pm at the covered area close to the Multi-Purpose Hall at Tanjong Pagar Complex - loving the heritage feels and free ice cream heh 😂 Alternatively, you may visit the last Listening Point on this Friday 12 January, at SMU (near Koufu Foodcourt), from 11.30am to 2pm. You may also provide your feedback via the REACH Budget 2018 microsite, www.reach.gov.sg/budget2018 (check out the link in my bio) until 12th Jan. Go on to let your voice be heard :)) #royceshares #sponsored #sgbudget2018 #mofsg #reachsingapore #mofsgxstarngage

A post shared by #emceeroyce (@theroycelee) on Jan 8, 2018 at 8:17pm PST

Who the hell are Shanel Lim, Chelsea Teng and Royce Lee?

The reason I’ve never heard of them is probably the same reason MOF chose them — I’m not one of the younger Singaporeans MOF wants to reach.

I’m too old.

Talk about ageism.

Doesn’t MOF want not-so-young Singaporeans to participate in the Budget process too?

What has MOF done to reach middle-aged taxpayers like me?

Was there a TV commercial? I don’t know. Millennials aren’t the only ones who stopped watching television on television, if you know what I mean.

Ironically, it’s the debate over the effectiveness of MOF using influencers to promote the Budget that made an old fart like me aware that the Government wants feedback for the Budget.



So whatever amount MOF paid the “influencers”, the ministry certainly got its money’s worth in terms of publicity.

It even makes me feel like Japanese food for lunch.

“Irasshaimase!”

- Published in The New Paper, 22 January 2018

Copied & pasted: Only now SMRT decides to do 'wide-scale audit'?

Dear Facebook friends,

Certainly, in the most difficult moments of life, you realise who are your true friends or the people who really appreciate you.

Unfortunately, for most friendships, they will leave you but still send you a "like", but in reality, they do not take time to read your status if they see it's lengthy.

That’s why they should just stick to Twitter since they have the short attention span of a US President.

More than half will stop reading right here, or have already scrolled on to the next post in their feed about Miss Malaysia dressed as nasi lemak for her national costume.

What is this, Halloween or a McDonald’s burger?



I decided to post this article in support of a very special group of people who are fighting train delays with firmness and energy.

Who taught us how to live each day praying it would be the happiest day because there would no MRT breakdown!

Who have filled the world with track faults and deep-seated cultural issues.

Now I'm watching the ones who will have time to read this post until the end instead of binge-watching Stranger Things 2 on Netflix.

This is a little test, just to see who reads, and who shares without reading.

If you have read everything so far, select “like” so I can put a thank you in your profile.



Train delays are very pervasive and disruptive to our public transport system.

Even after the Bishan tunnel flooding three weeks ago, SMRT is still fighting with itself, trying to reconstruct what happened.

Last week, after discovering that maintenance records have been falsified possibly since last December, SMRT resorted to offering “amnesty” to employees who voluntarily fess up to eating snake before a “wide-scale audit”.

And you thought Kevin Spacey created a toxic work environment on the set of House Of Cards.

With the employees from SMRT's building and facilities department having come forward that we know of, it appears SMRT is itself a house of cards.

Who knows what other lapses will be uncovered?

Getting too much water in the tunnel has turned out to be a watershed for SMRT.

Even Parliament will be discussing the flooding tomorrow.

My question is, why is this “wide-scale audit” happening only now?

What took so long?

Mr Khaw Boon Wan has been Coordinating Minister for Infrastructure and Minister for Transport since 2015.

Mr Desmond Quek has been CEO of SMRT since 2012.



In 2012, there was actually a Committee of Inquiry ordered by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong because of two major disruptions in December 2011, which was when “free bridging bus service” started becoming a thing.

But the lapses don’t just result in train delays.

Since 2010, there have been at least three cases of vandalism at SMRT train depots.



More tragically, two SMRT employees were killed last year while working on the tracks and this wasn’t even the first time.

In 2010, an LRT technician died after he was hit by a train and his widow sued SMRT for negligence two years later.

But it took a flooding to open the flood gates?

Last week, the Public Transport Council announced that after its latest review, there will be no fare hike.

Considering the circumstances, there better not be.

Do we have SMRT’s ineptitude to thank for that?

So please, in honor of SMRT, copy and paste on your page this text.

Friends all say: "If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me, I'll be there to help you."

So I'm going to make a bet that most people who see this post (maybe even read all the way to the end) won't, but I believe a select few of my friends will post this, to show their support for SMRT.

I'd like to know who I can count on to take a minute out of their day while queuing for the iPhone X and actually read my Facebook status.

You just have to copy (not share) and paste. Then write "done" in the comments.

Thank you.

I’ll name a floating platform after you.

- Published in The New Paper, 6 November 2017

Dear Mr Ong,

Good morning! I have enjoyed reading your article with regard to SMRT. I felt strongly that the CEO Mr Desmond Kuek should step down as soon as possible. The previous CEO (Ms Saw) have also step down to take responsibility for the frequent train breakdowns. This time the situation is much worse and more frequent breakdown. He cannot just blame the staff as CEO he should take responsibility and step down. The CEO have been keeping quite until the recent major breakdown. He have totally no experience to run the SMRT as he just a general in the army. I am waiting for him to get his service terminated.

I hope you can continue to write more articles with regard to SMRT frequent breakdown and hopefully the CEO will step down gracefully.

Thank you very much. Have a blessed week ahead.

Best regard,
Donald

I am (was?) one of The Middle Ground's 215 patrons: Can I still get my umbrella?

When The Middle Ground announced that it was calling it quits, I was taken aback. Was it my fault? If only I had attended its event last night. But I had to work.

I have been a "patron" of TMG since January after it launched its Patreon fundraising campaign.



I could have just pledged US$10 per month to get the umbrella.



But I didn't want to appear to be supporting TMG just for the umbrella, so I leveled up to US$25 per month instead.

Besides the umbrella, the rewards of being a US$25-per-month patron are:

• We will write your name on our office wall and let everyone know that we've got you to thank for what we are able to do!
• Invitation to TMG forums and focus groups
• Inside stories - how TMG staff covered key news events
• Regular (quarterly) reports on how TMG spends the funds it raises
• Early access to TMG videos
• Patron-only polls
• Sustainable, independent journalism

The highest level is US$100 per month, where the rewards include all of the above, plus:

What else can we offer? Drop us a line and swing by our office any time - coffee's on us, and we'll let you in on what we're up to.

I could have had the umbrella sent to me, but I opted to pick it up myself because I wanted to see what The Middle Ground office looks like and look for my name on the wall.



But the office is in some out-of-the-way place at Commonwealth Drive (near my old secondary school, New Town), so I never got around to picking up my umbrella.

Then two weeks ago, I received an invitation to "an exclusive backers-only event".



I figured I could go and get my umbrella at the same time, but suay suay, the event was last night when I had to work.



So I missed the event and now TMG is shutting down.

Coincidence?



Publisher Daniel Yap wrote:

We have just over 200 patrons on the platform, contributing about $3,000 each month, and the choices we made meant that we were not as attractive as other platforms when it came to sheer traffic and viral content – the lifeblood of ad campaigns. Unfortunately, the overheads for a solid news editorial team run into the tens of thousands, and TMG wasn’t an operation we could sustain long term, not without departing from the core values that we hold dear.

So it seems times are tough for journalistic enterprises both big (like SPH and Today) and small (like TMG).

Mr Yap added:

This process of winding down TMG will take between one and three months, because of some of the obligations we have to our clients and suppliers. These will have to be negotiated, but we commit to publishing what we can while we fulfil our obligations. We will cancel our TMG Patreon campaign effective Nov 15, 2017.

So I'll have US$25 more to spend on shoes after next month.

The Middle Ground is, of course, the second successive website editor Bertha Henson is shutting down after The Breakfast Network in 2013.



I guess she still has her blog, Bertha Harian, which was always more interesting anyway.

But I still don't have my umbrella.


EARLIER:

That escalated quickly: Bertha Henson's new website gets MDA's attention

Inconvenient Questions shuts down

Halimah Yacob did not delete info about Indian descent on Wikipedia page because it's still there unless it has been deleted again

On Wednesday, The Independent Singapore speculated: Did Halimah Yacob delete info about Indian descent from Wikipedia page?

The short answer is: I don't think so.

The long answer is the rest of this blog post.

This is what the website published:

Speaker of Parliament Mdm Halimah Yacob’s Wikipedia page appears to have been edited recently. Her page now does not show that she is a “Singaporean politician of Indian descent” as it previously did.



Her page may have been spruced up in anticipation of the upcoming Presidential election which Mdm Halimah is considering contesting...

... Perhaps Mdm Halimah’s Wikipedia page was edited to avoid claims and speculation that she is unfit to run in the presidential race, even though she is a certified Malay. The deletion of her ancestry, however, may have backfired as netizens circulating the photo have taken the edits as evidence that Mdm Halimah is trying to bury her origins.

This article presumes that until recently, the Wikipedia all along had the words "of Indian descent" when actually, the opposite is true.

This can be easily verified by viewing the history of the Halimah Yacob page, which I did.

The words "of Indian descent" were added only less than two weeks ago on July 12.

Four days later, the words were removed by another Wikipedia user, claiming it was vandalism.

Three hours later, a third user Jane Dawson reinstated the words, explaining: "Undid sneaky edits pretending to fix vandalism when no vandalism is found."

Four hours later, the second user deleted the words again.

Minutes later, the user who originally added the words reinstated them again.

Half an hour later, the second user deleted the words, stating: "No reliable sources. Please cite a reliable source. Your IP address '118.189.63.127' has been reported for repeated vandalism."

Five minutes later, a fourth user Arjayjay reinstated the words again.

Seven minutes later, a fifth user Reid62 deleted the words, stating: "Restore back to originals. Please insert a reliable sources."

Six minutes later, Arjayjay reinstated the words again, commenting: "Rv-V stop deleting sources, CN tags, categories and adding flag in infobox."

Fifteen minutes later, the second user (the original deleter) deleted the words again.

Eighteen minutes later, the user who introduced the words reinstated them again.

Nineteen minutes later, a sixth user deleted the words to revert to the pre-edit war version from July 11, the good old days.

But the originator of the words would have none of it and reinstated "of Indian descent" about an hour later.

Half an hour later, the original deleter deleted the words again, complaining of vandalism and "disruptive editing".

More than two hours later, a seventh user Materialscientist reinstated the words again.

All that happened on Sunday.

So depending on what time of the day you went to the Halimah Yacob Wikipedia page, you would get different information.

If you asked me, describing her as being "of Indian descent" is inaccurate. She is of Indian and Malay descent. (UPDATE: On Aug 5, the Wikipedia page was edited - not by me - to say exactly that.)

Early Monday morning, Reid62 returned to delete the words again, kicking off the new day with another cycle of delete-reinstate-delete-reinstate-delete-reinstate-delete...

On Tuesday, reinstater Arjayjay had it with deleter Reid62, stating: "Rv deleting sourced information - you were blocked for this yesterday but have just continued where you left of."

Deleter Reid 62 retorted: "Provide me any reliable sources to your edits. The citations were fabricated, false and unfounded."

In other words, fake news!

Reinstater Arjayjay replied: "Stop deleting sources, unless you can show they are unreliable - you were blocked for this yesterday."

Deleter Reid 62 replied: "Of course, they're unreliable because there's no valid source to it. All but smear campaign against this politician. I was blocked because of reverts."

After that, the page was finally locked for "persistent disruptive editing".

The locked version didn't have the words "of Indian descent".

The next day, The Independent Singapore published its article.

The locked "of Indian descent"-less version lasted about three days until this morning when the words were reinstated by another user Sue, who also added "born to a Malay Mother and an Indian-Muslim father".

Sue declared: "Added content that was deleted during the last edit war, as per consensus established in the talk page. If anyone believes this content should be removed, please proceed to the talk page to discuss."

At least war is over.

For now.



UPDATE: The war continues with the return of Reid62 and Arjayjay.

At 12.22pm on July 21, Reid62 deleted "of Indian decent, born to a Malay mother and an Indian-Muslim father" and questioned Sue's motives: "Is 'Sue' linked to Independent.Sg for that site is rogue, unregistered, unlicensed news site that provides many unverified, inaccurate sources; fake news."

Three minutes later, Arjayjay reinstated the words.

Here we go again.

My Star Wars Run-neth over: PM Lee Hsien Loong outgeeks Canadian PM Trudeau

I saw a guy running in a gold bikini top at the Star Wars Run on Saturday night.

Yes, a guy.

In a gold bikini top.

As if Return Of The Jedi wasn’t already ruined by those mutant teddy bears, the Ewoks.

Now my hetero adolescent fantasies of Princess Leia in the slave girl outfit from that movie have been destroyed for good too.

Thankfully, the guy wore a T-shirt under the bikini top. So I didn’t have nightmares that night.

I also saw many Jedi and Sith wannabes running with lightsabers, which were not only cumbersome but also potentially hazardous to other runners.

And you thought people with selfie sticks were annoying.

Some fans even ran in full costume — helmet and cape et al. I had a heat stroke just looking at them.

I was already sweating like a pig on Dagobah in my Under Armour Star Wars Trooper compression shirt — that is, if there are pigs on Dagobah.



I wish I had a gold bikini to run in. At least that seems more Singapore weather-appropriate.

The run was part of a three-day event at Gardens By The Bay celebrating 40 years of Star Wars, a 1977 US movie that grew into a worldwide cultural phenomenon and merchandising juggernaut.

Last week, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau posted a photo of himself wearing R2D2 and C3PO socks with the tweet: “These are the socks you’re looking for. #MayTheFourthBeWithYou #GuerreDesÉtoiles”

These are the socks you’re looking for. #MayTheFourthBeWithYou#GuerreDesÉtoiles pic.twitter.com/AXTQkgmkYH

— Justin Trudeau (@JustinTrudeau) May 4, 2017

Guerre Des Étoiles is French for Star Wars.

The geek is strong with this one.



But Mr Trudeau wasn’t the only world leader who jumped on the Star Wars cantina bandwagon.

On Saturday, our own PM Lee Hsien Loong posted photos of “Sabertrees” at Gardens by the Bay with the caption:

“Star Wars fans know ‘May the 4th’ as Star Wars Day, and this year @gardensbythebay joined in the fun with Star Wars-themed events.

“I couldn’t make it on the 4th but managed a #jalanjalan at the Gardens last night.

“The Supertrees have been converted into spectacular ‘Sabertrees’, and look like giant lightsabers pointing to the sky!

“Happened to capture the moon in my photo too, or at least, I think it’s a moon. :)

“The festivities end tonight — just in time for the Revenge Of The Sixth, so do catch it if you can. And May the Fourth be with you!”

No Padawan he is.

Besides the obvious Revenge Of The Sith pun, notice how PM Lee also subtly worked in a “That’s no moon” reference without using the actual quote from the original movie.



I’m sorry, Mr Trudeau, but you have been out-geeked by our prime minister. Even without mismatched droid socks.

Wait, did PM Lee just reference the Sith? Does it mean he has gone to the dark side?

Well, he did recently tell Singaporeans that to stay ahead of the competition, “you must make sure you steal somebody else’s lunch”.

That sounds pretty dark side-ish.

If he had joined the Star Wars Run, I wonder whether he would have chosen to be on the light or dark side.

On the one hand, PM Lee is a member of the People’s Action Party, also known as the Men in White, which suggests the light side. On the other hand, white is also the uniform of the stormtroopers, who are on the dark side.

Oh, the conundrum!

Now I understand what Anakin and Luke Skywalker went through.

As for me, I went to the dark side because the T-shirt is nicer.



How long did it take me to finish the 10km run?

In less than 12 parsecs, of course.

According to Strava, it was a personal record. (But then I started using Strava regularly only this year.)

Who needs a gold bikini?

- Published in The New Paper, 8 May 2017




































UPDATE: Star Wars Run 2018 recap