What makes a hero? A viral video – and a checked shirt

All we want for Christmas is a hero.

But not just any hero.

A hero in a checked shirt.



What is a hero anyway? Like for everything else in life, I get my answer in an 80s pop song.

I need a hero. I’m holding out for a hero till the end of the night.
He’s gotta be strong and he’s gotta be fast.
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight.

That is, of course, Holding Out For A Hero by Bonnie Tyler from the 1984 movie Footloose.

Younger readers may know it better as the song by the Fairy Godmother from Shrek 2.



It could also be the tune the local media was singing in its quest for the “mystery man” in a checked shirt who tried to stop rioters from destroying a bus during the Little India riot in a viral video two weeks ago.

And Mr Thangavel Govindarasu stepped forward.



I don’t know how fast, strong or “fresh from the fight” he is, but he’s got a checked shirt.

Then someone checked his checked shirt and it was different from the checked shirt worn by the hero in the video. Checkmate!

And so like any mystery man befitting his “mystery man” label, Mr Thangavel disappeared as suddenly as he had appeared, retracting his claim that he’s the sought-after hero.

But Mr Thangavel said he did protect the woman on the bus from rioters. So he was also a hero in his own way. Too bad it wasn’t on video.

This raises the question: If you’re a hero in a riot and no one is around to record it, do you make a sound?

Fortunately, someone was around to record the man carrying a samurai sword on the MRT train last week.



You’ve seen the picture. Everybody in the train carriage gave Samurai Jack a wide berth – well, everybody except for one hero sitting in a reserved seat with his eyes closed.

Why is he a hero?

Because while the other passengers were cowering from the rogue swordsman, our hero stood his ground.

Or rather, sat his ground.

Or rather, sat in the reserved seat with his eyes closed.

The question is, was he really such a sound sleeper that he was oblivious to the somewhat low-budget production of 47 Ronin going on around him? (Can't afford Keanu Reeves.)

Or was he just pretending to sleep because, die die (literally), he didn’t want to give up his precious reserved seat?

“You know how many old people and pregnant women I had to fight off to sit here? Sword or no sword, this reserved seat is mine!

“As long as samurai guy thinks I’m asleep, he won’t bother me. After all, I’ve had a lot of practice pretending to sleep to avoid eye contact with old people and pregnant women who need this seat more than I do.”

Act blur level: possum.

Why isn’t the media looking for him? Maybe because he wasn’t wearing a checked shirt.

One person who has had more than his share of media attention is my man crush, Mr Baey Yam Keng.



From giving advice to the prime minister on taking selfies to hunting down a high-rise used diaper thrower, the heroics of the Member of Parliament for Tampines GRC have been recorded on Instagram for all to behold and savour.

His haters could’ve made a meal out of the selfie Mr Baey took at last weekend’s ZoukOut with Mr Lincoln Cheng, the founder of Zouk who was arrested and found guilty of possession of controlled drugs as well as obscene magazines and videotapes 18 years ago.



“Is it appropriate for the MP to be consorting with a convicted lawbreaker? Is the selfie an endorsement of Mr Cheng’s lifestyle?”

Instead, everyone was distracted by Mr Baey’s $2.50 nasi padang and 50-cent bandung.

Someone claimed to have been charged more for the same food and thus brewed a storm in a teacup – or in this case, on a plastic plate.



Lest we forget, until last year, Mr Baey was managing director of Hill+Knowlton Strategies, a public relations company where he’s still senior advisor. So he’s supposed to be an expert on PR.

An expert.

On public relations.

Supposed to be.

This weekend, the now famous nasi padang stall at Block 475, Tampines Street 44, is extending the $2.50 offer to “everyone” with proceeds going to the Tampines North welfare fund. Not sure if you can also get the 50-cent bandung though.



So is Mr Baey the hero I’m holding out for till the end of the night?

Based on his selfies at the gym, he is strong.

Based on his selfies at the Standard Chartered Marathon (albeit in the 10km race), he is fast.

And based on all his selfies, he looks pretty fresh from the fight.

On the other hand, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him wear a checked shirt on Instagram.

Well, to paraphrase another movie song from the 80s: We don’t need another hero... in a checked shirt.

- Published in The New Paper, 22 December 2013

Where alcohol should really be banned — Mirkwood, Fish & Co

Alcohol means trouble.

Last week, I learnt that otherwise normally responsible people can behave abominably under the influence of alcohol.

Of course, you can argue that elves can't be considered “people”, but that’s just racist.

If you haven't seen The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug, you may want to stop reading this to avoid spoilers. You may also want to stop reading because, well, you have better things to do.



In the movie, the dwarves are captured by the elves in Mirkwood forest and imprisoned in funky little elf dungeons.

Taking a break, the elf holding the keys to the dungeons is persuaded by his elf buddy to sample the king’s wine.

He soon passes out drunk, allowing Bilbo the hobbit to steal the keys and free the dwarves, which leads to a chaotic chase sequence with gnarly orcs, flying arrows and damaged barrels.



In a word: trouble.

And it all started because of alcohol.

In the elves’ defence, I have seen all The Lord Of The Rings movies (including the extended editions on DVD) and the first Hobbit movie, but I’ve never seen elves behaving like such booze hounds before.

What is this – Mirkwood or ZoukOut?

And I thought elves can hold their liquor. I remember Legolas the elf drinking Gimli the dwarf under the table in The Lord Of The Rings.



But then Legolas is no ordinary elf. He married a Victoria's Secret model.

In the aftermath of dwarves’ escape (which occurs only once in 50 years), it seems to me that if alcohol should be banned anywhere, it should be in the elf kingdom.

Like what the Singapore authorities are doing in Little India this weekend, Thranduil the Elvenking should declare Mirkwood a “proclaimed area” under the Public Order Preservation Act, allowing him to take action against anyone who consumes alcohol in his kingdom.



At least whenever there are dwarves imprisoned in the funky little elf dungeons.

And a pesky hobbit with the ability to turn invisible using the One Ring is around.

In other words, the weekend.

I wonder if alcohol consumption was also involved in the creation of the Fish & Co ad that read: “Stay away from riot and eat Bombay fish and chips.”



Posted on the restaurant chain’s Facebook page soon after the Little India riot, the ad was criticised for being insensitive and went viral. The post has since been removed and Fish & Co apologised for the ad, which has been called a “marketing stunt”.

Marketing stunt? Really? You mean the evil geniuses at Fish & Co planned for people to complain about the ad, so that the company can apologise for it - all just to publicise the Bombay fish and chips?

In which case, couldn’t we have easily foiled their dastardly scheme by simply ignoring the ad and not sharing it online?

So by making a big deal out of the ad, the detractors were merely playing into Fish & Co’s greasy devious hands.

I’m not so bothered by the ad because I always order the swordfish collar anyway.



Honestly, it’s hard for me to tell what is considered insensitive nowadays.

For instance, I’m a little troubled by the number of headlines about the riot that read: “Big trouble in Little India.”

That’s not insensitive?



Even Taufik Batisah tweeted it. But then this is the same guy who tweeted: “Winner winner chicken dinner.” So you just can’t tell with these wacky former Singapore Idols.

What I find more troubling is how many people actually realised that “Big trouble in Little India” is not just a play on the words “big” and “little” but also a reference to an old movie from the 80s, Big Trouble In Little China.

My wife didn’t. Does Taufik?



Big Trouble In Little China had big action sequences, ancient sorcerers and nasty-looking creatures. So it’s basically like The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug – but with Kurt Russell, who is now actually old enough play Gandalf.

Well, at least now I know what Blu-ray I want this Christmas - Big Trouble In Little China. And maybe Star Trek Into Darkness if it has a director’s commentary track.

I can wait until 2015 for The Hobbit extended edition trilogy boxed set.

Would anyone hold it against me if I get the Bombay fish and chips at Fish & Co. today?

I haven’t tried it yet. I promise not to order any alcohol even though I won’t be anywhere near Mirkwood.

I don’t want any trouble.

- Published in The New Paper, 15 December 2013

5 Little India riot myths – debunked!

The trouble is not just that we believe things that aren't true – it's that we now also spread the untruths online.

Here are five facts about the Little India riot:

1. The man killed by the bus was not Bangladeshi.



From The Straits Times:

The Bangladesh High Commissioner in Singapore has issued a statement refuting some media reports which state that a Bangladeshi worker was involved in an accident which triggered the riots.

It said: "In some press and media reports there has been unsubstantiated news reporting which says that a Bangladeshi worker was hit by a bus that escalated the riot incident."

"I want to categorically state that as per available information the news reports that appeared on a section of media and news involving a Bangladeshi worker is not based on facts."

2. He was not decapitated.

From The Straits Times:

The 33-year-old Indian national who died in the fatal accident, which sparked the Little India riot on Sunday night has been identified.

Mr Sakthivel Kumaravelu has been working in Singapore as a construction worker with Heng Hup Soon, a scaffolding company, for about two years, said a man who identified his body at the Singapore General Hospital (SGH) mortuary on Monday morning.

The man, who declined to be named, said Mr Kumaravelu's family has not been notified of his death. He added that Mr Kumaravelu's body was not decapitated as reported by some news outlets but he did suffer injuries to his face.

3. The bus driver is not from China. He is Singaporean.



From The Straits Times:

The driver involved in the Little India accident on Sunday night that sparked a riot has been arrested and is out on bail, police said on Monday.

The male Singaporean driver, who was warded at Tan Tock Seng hospital earlier today, is being investigated for causing death by a negligent act.

He is understood to have been ferrying workers between Little India and a dormitory at Jalan Papan when he reversed into Mr Sakthivel Kumaravelu, a 33-year-old Indian national. The deceased is believed to have been drunk.

Also, the driver is not a woman.




4. Policemen were not killed.



From Today:

Police received a call at 9:23pm yesterday with a message “A bus has knocked down someone here, ambulance required.”

Police investigations revealed a fatal traffic accident had occurred between a private bus and a pedestrian at the junction of Race Course Road and Hampshire Road.

Shortly after, a riot broke out involving a crowd of about 400 subjects where the subjects damaged several vehicles including 16 police vehicles.

About 300 Police Officers, including those from the Special Operations Command and the Gurkha Contingent, responded to the scene.

As of noon today, 22 Police Officers and 5 Auxilliary Police Officers have sought treatment at the hospital. The officers sustained injuries and lacerations. All of them have since been discharged from the hospital.

5. The Outram MRT station shooting had nothing to do with the riot



The shooting happened in 2008.



EARLIER: Singapore's first YouTube riot in Little India?

UPDATE: Nitpicking the language of race, nationality & geography

Videos: Singapore's first YouTube riot in Little India

From The Straits Times:

Police have arrested 27 suspects from South Asia in connection with the Little India riot on Sunday, which left 10 police officers and four civil defence officers injured.

The riot, which were not premeditated, were sparked off by a fatal accident involving a 33-year-old Indian national who was knocked down by a private bus, and had involved some 400 people. Five police vehicles and one ambulance were damaged in the fracas, which started at about 9.23pm on Sunday.



Commissioner of Police Ng Joo Hee said in a press conference on Monday that the riot was resolved by the police within an hour after the call was received. He added that no Singaporean was believed to have been involved in the riot, adding that destruction of property and fighting the police is not the Singapore way.

The driver of the private bus involved in the accident before the riot remains in hospital and is not arrested, said CP Ng. Some 300 police officers responded to the Little India riot but not a single shot - lethal or non-lethal - was fired.

UPDATE: Five Little India riot myths debunked