Sunday 14 April 2013

Joanne Peh & Qi Yuwu: Is she really going out with him?

I couldn’t believe it.

One month after 8 Days magazine broke the news that Joanne Peh had split with Bobby Tonelli, the MediaCorp publication again broke the news last week that she’s now with actor Qi Yuwu.

To quote The New Paper headline: Really?

I used to get 8 Days for free as a MediaCorp employee. After I stopped working at the company five years ago, I stopped reading 8 Days.

But in the last four weeks, I have been compelled to buy the weekly entertainment magazine twice for its game-changing coverage of Peh’s love life.

At $2 per copy, that’s $4 I could’ve saved to help pay for the new KFC Zinger Double Down Max – now with hash brown!

At the rate the actress is changing boyfriends, I may have to go crawling back to my former MediaCorp boss and grovel for my old job back just so I can get my 8 Days for free again.

And maybe it’s because I haven’t been reading 8 Days (or watching Channel 8) for so long that I had no idea who Qi Yuwu was.

But then I know who Bobby Tonelli is only because he was Joanne Peh’s boyfriend.

Which explains the speculation that this Qi-Peh coupling is just a publicity stunt.

Even the 8 Days reporter who interviewed Qi expressed “surprise”.

To quote: “We’re surprised. After all, you guys seem so different – you’re quiet and calm while she’s outspoken and energetic.”

And to further ram in the point: “You’re like mountain and river; night and day.”

To which Qi replied: “The mountain needs the river, right?”

Uh... no. Why does the mountain need anything? It’s a mountain!

And here is another reason for the reporter’s incredulity: “You must know about the gay rumours swirling around you in the industry...”

To which Qi responded: “People can say whatever they want.”

Hey, thanks for the permission!

Qi’s most revealing quote is this response to the question of whether he had a girlfriend in the last 10 years or “dalliances”, perhaps while filming in China:

“Things like sex and passion, they don’t attract me. These are hollow and empty. I could have those, but what’s the point? I would look down on myself. What would be the difference between me and a monkey, then?”

Whoa! So Qi is equating having sex and passion with being a monkey?

I will have him know that teachers, law professors, bankers, members and speakers of parliament and heads of major government organisations are having sex all over the place. They may be horndogs, but they’re not monkeys.

Qi’s parents probably also had sex or he wouldn’t be around today to bad-mouth monkeys.

So the issue here is not whether Qi is gay. The issue is that he is a monkey-phobe.

And that’s another reason it’s hard to believe Qi and Peh are together.

I mean, what’s the point of having a hot girlfriend like Joanne Peh if you’re not “attracted” to sex and passion? Never mind being a monkey. I would be King Kong.

(Yes, I know King Kong is technically an ape and not a monkey, but according to a recent scientific study, size matters.)

Even Tonelli is taken aback by the news of his ex’s new relationship. He told TNP: “It was shocking, but as long as she is happy, that is the most important.”

Peh is indeed so happy with Qi that she told 8 Days: “There’s no possibility that this relationship will fail.”

She sounds very emotionally secure about their relationship.

It reminds me of what she told TNP about Tonelli back in 2009: “He’s not afraid to show his feelings for me, and that makes me emotionally secure about the relationship.”

I bet she thought that relationship wouldn’t fail either.

But you know the biggest reason I have doubts about Peh’s new relationship with Qi?

In the earlier interview with 8 Days, she told the magazine that after Tonelli, she now knows what kind of guy she doesn’t want: “Someone too good-looking.”

Okay, I would concede that not being a Manhunt judge, I am hardly an expert on how good-looking a guy is.

But if Qi is not considered good-looking, then I’m the Goblin King in The Hobbit.

And so are you.

Granted, Qi may not be as good-looking as Tonelli, but then Tonelli is so good-looking that if the High Court didn’t dismiss the legal challenge that Section 377A of the Penal Code is unconstitutional last week, I might ask him for a date myself – you know, since he’s available.

So even if Qi is good-looking, the question is, is he “too” good-looking?

I suppose it’s possible that to Peh, he’s not. As the saying goes, good-looking is in the eye of the beholder.

Before I go, I want to address the unfair comparison of Peh to US singer Taylor Swift just because Peh found a new boyfriend so “swiftly” after breaking up with Tonelli.

It’s unfair to Swift. At least when Swift breaks up with a guy, she writes a hit song about it.

When Peh breaks up with a guy, 8 Days just sells more magazines.

Now where’s the number for my old MediaCorp boss?

- Published in The New Paper, 14 April 2013

EARLIER: Why didn't we know about Joanne Peh's break-up sooner?

UPDATE: Did Joanne Peh marry Qi Yuwu just to spite me?