Why I must check Facebook during the National Anthem

Hi, my name is S M Ong and I’m addicted to the Internet.

During the singing of the National Anthem at the National Day Parade. I was using my iPhone to check how many “Likes” I had on my Facebook page.

Fortunately, I was watching the NDP on TV in The New Paper newsroom and I wasn’t caught on video looking at my phone when I should be belting out Majulah Singapura with my hand on my heart like all true Singaporeans.

More fortunately, I’m not a Member of Parliament...like, say, Ms Penny Low.



During The Pledge Moment, I was watching the latest episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart at thedailyshow.com on my desktop PC, which was fortuitous because Stewart actually mentioned Singapore in that particular episode.



He was talking about US investors looking for a safe haven for their money after the US credit rating was downgraded and joked, “Singapore is looking pretty nice this time of year.”

(The line is at 7:43 in the video below.)



Hooray for Singapore's AAA rating!

I was so delighted to hear Singapore mentioned by an American celebrity other than Seth Rogen and Rupert Murdoch (now a US citizen) – on National Day no less – I forgave myself for not saying the Pledge.

The Internet is not only full of such wonderful surprises – I can also use it to affect change.

Remember the faded Singapore flag outside my neighbour’s window I mentioned in last week’s column?

On Monday morning, I posted the article on the Yew Tee Zone 11 Facebook page and within hours, the flag was replaced with a brand new one.

I feel so empowered.

Now I’m wondering if I can use Facebook to find out what kind of TV set another neighbour has.

He lives in a block opposite mine. Even from as far as my block, I can see through the neighbour’s window that it’s the sharpest high-definition TV I have ever laid eyes on.

It makes my own HD TV look like a crayon drawing. Why is the HD TV always sharper on the other side?



I want to know what brand my neighbour’s HD TV is and whether it’s an LCD, LED or plasma TV.

I’m tempted to knock on my neighbour’s door and ask, but I’m afraid it might be a little weird to go to a stranger’s home just to find out what kind of TV he has after coveting it from afar for so long.

Maybe I’ll use the Yew Tee Zone 11 Facebook page instead.

The Internet is so useful that I feel the need to be connected almost all the time.

When I sleep, I have my iPhone beside me so that when I wake up, I can surf the Web right away.

My wife is so frustrated with my addiction that she has forced me to choose between sleeping with her or with my iPhone.

Afraid to go cold turkey, I managed to convince her that our king-size bed is big enough for a threesome.



Have I hit rock bottom yet?

Just let me check my Facebook page one more time. You may carry on with the National Anthem.

- Published in The New Paper, 14 August 2011

How old is that flag outside your window?

Dear fourth-storey flag-hanger of Block 672A, Choa Chu Kang Crescent,

We’ve never met. I don’t know what you look like. I have no idea who you are.

All I know is that you live on the fourth storey and there’s a Singapore flag hanging outside your window.

I notice this flag every day as I walk home to my block nearby.

Even though National Day is coming, yours is one of only three flags at your block as of yesterday. The other flags are on higher floors.

Not that I’m accusing the rest of your neighbours of being unpatriotic. I don't display a flag myself.

I’m simply too lazy to put up something just to take it down a few weeks later.

But that doesn't mean I'm any less proud to be Singaporean, especially since we recently beat Malaysia in the World Cup qualifiers.



That’s what they get for kicking us out of their federation 46 years ago and making our Prime Minister's father cry.



Anyway, whenever I see a block adorned with rows and rows of flags for National Day, I assume it’s the work of the Residents’ Committee and not the people actually living there.

It’s more meaningful to see a flag like yours because then I know it’s a genuine act of national pride by an individual rather than planned by committee.

But the problem is this: Your flag has been there since last National Day!

I remember seeing it in September last year and thinking it was about time you removed it since National Day was long over.

I thought the same thing on Hari Raya Puasa, Deepavali, Hari Raya Haji, Christmas Day, Chinese New Year, Good Friday, Vesak Day and throughout the Great Singapore Sale.

Isn’t there a law against this?

Maybe you just forgot to take it down. Or you’re too lazy (I can relate to that).

Or maybe you love Singapore so much, you want to show it all year round. The whole month of August just isn't enough for you.

You’ve managed to leave the flag up there for so long that like Planet Of The Apes, it’s back in fashion again.



As they say, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

But compared to the other (newly-hung) flags at your block, yours is now so weather-worn and faded that it’s no longer red and white, but puce and somewhat off-white. Your patriotism has become an eye sore.

So I’m begging you, come September, after the National Day celebrations are over, please, please, please take it down for good.

I thank you.

The other residents of Choa Chu Kang Crescent thank you.

Singapore thanks you.

I look forward to seeing a brand new flag outside your window a year from now in glorious red and white.

Majulah,
S M Ong

- Published in The New Paper, 7 August 2011

UPDATE: The day after this column was published, the faded flag was replaced by a brand new one. Will it still be there by Christmas?

UPDATE UPDATE: On 9 October, I noticed the flags were removed. Finally!

Rise of The Planet of Questions about what the President can and cannot do

"See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil."



Role of the President of Singapore according to Law Minister?

“The real questions which we should be asking are:

Who would best protect the reserves? Who has the knowledge, the skills and the acumen? Who will best command the respect of the Prime Minister and Cabinet to best influence them? Who has the gravitas and stature to be the symbol of the country?

The wrong questions would be:

Who is going to speak up publicly? Who is going to contradict the Government? Who is going to engage the Government in public issues?

Wrong questions because the President can’t do any of these things. He will be acting unconstitutionally.”

- Singapore’s Law and Foreign Affairs Minister K Shanmugam