Monday 17 April 2017

Furious that they forgot about Han so fast: 'One word says it all, Asian'

It’s hard out there for an Asian.

And I’m not just talking about Dr David Dao, the Vietnamese-American who was dragged off a United Airlines flight last week.

If only he had given his dragger a Pepsi.

Even Hitler did not drag anyone off a plane.(Or did he?)

Dr Dao’s lawyer told reporters that his client said being dragged down the aisle was “more horrifying and harrowing” than leaving Vietnam in 1975 when Saigon fell.

I guess Dr Dao would be giving the Broadway revival of Miss Saigon a miss then.

I’m old enough to remember when Caucasian actor Jonathan Pryce (who recently played the High Sparrow in Game Of Thrones) put on a yellowface to play a Eurasian in the original 1989 production of Miss Saigon.

It was like Mickey Rooney playing Japanese in Breakfast At Tiffany’s all over again.

But this is 2017. We’re more racially and gender sensitive now.

If Dr Dao’s story is made into a movie, he would be played by Scarlett Johansson.

Who knew the 69-year-old doctor could look so hot in a flesh-tone bodysuit?

While many have speculated that Dr Dao was targeted because he is Asian, there is no evidence of this.

It was not like United Airlines said: “One word says it all, Asian.”

That was the message a California Airbnb host sent to an Asian-American woman after cancelling her reservation at the last minute.

When Miss Dyne Suh said she would complain to Airbnb, the host replied with “go ahead” and “it’s why we have Trump”.

The host added: “I will not allow this country to be told what to do by foreigners.”

Ironically, it was later revealed that the host has another job — teaching English as a second language.

No wonder she’s so sick of those damn foreigners.

Airbnb has since permanently banned the host, calling her behaviour “abhorrent and unacceptable”.

I suspect Hollywood is already developing a movie about this incident where Miss Suh will be played by Jonathan Pryce.

But you know who I think is the most disrespected Asian of them all?

Han from the Fast & Furious movies (and not 2 Broke Girls).

Played by Korean-American actor Sung Kang, Han first appeared and died in The Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift.

At the end of Fast & Furious 6, it was revealed that Han was actually murdered by Deckard Shaw, played by Jason Statham, setting up Fast & Furious 7, which was essentially about Han’s friends going after Shaw.

If you have seen the trailers for the new Fast & Furious 8, you would know that Shaw is now teaming up with our protagonists to go after Vin Diesel’s character, who has gone “rogue”.

By the end of the movie, Shaw has more or less become one of the good guys.

What is this?

Doesn’t anyone remember that Shaw killed Han?!

There was no mention of Han at all in the new movie.

Are the other guys just jealous because Han had hair?

I’m not the only one upset by this. Mr Brown wrote on his blog:
“Most of you may know that Jason Statham, Deckard Shaw in the movie, was the enemy of Vin Diesel’s family in Furious 7, right? And you know that he killed Han in Fast & Furious 6, right?

See the all-caps? That’s how furious Mr Brown is.

When Fast & Furious 8 writer Chris Morgan was asked about the Han-troversy in an Entertainment Weekly interview, he said:
“Sung Kang is one of my favorite people on the planet. His character, God, I love Han. I love Han!

“And look, there is still conversations for Deckard and the team to be having about it. There’s still things we get to discover. I think that, over the journey over the next few films, I think anyone who may be having issues about that will get a satisfying resolution.”
Well, there better be or someone’s going to get dragged down an airplane aisle real bad.

I’m just grateful Han wasn’t played by Tilda Swinton.

- Published in The New Paper, 17 April 2017