Sunday 28 February 2010

$10 million Toto draw losers need help too

So you didn't win the Toto $10 million Hongbao draw.

You know how I know you didn't win the $10 million? Because you're here reading this column instead of out celebrating with hookers and booze.

Not that you couldn't read this column and celebrate with hookers and booze at the same time, but you have only two hands. So you have to give up the hookers or the booze. Personally, I would give up this column.

Anyway, as I was saying, so you lost whatever sum of money you spent on the lottery tickets - in addition to the time you invested in queuing to buy the tickets from your "lucky" outlet. Time is money after all.

Your dream of quitting your dead-end job and not having to sleep with your boss again to get an increment is dashed.

So is your dream of opening your own restaurant specialising exclusively in dishes made from canned luncheon meat.

As well as your dream of bribing all four members of Abba to reunite so that you can finally watch them perform Dancing Queen live before you (or they) die.

And also your dream of not having to write this column any more.

So what does Singapore Pools, which runs Toto, do? Last week, it announced a new programme to help the big winners manage their windfall.

Say what? Help the winners? Shouldn't Singapore Pools be helping the losers?

Because once you've won a few million bucks, I think it's fair to say you won't be short of ideas and advice on how to spend it. Hey, that Ferrari looks pretty nice.

According to Singapore Pools CEO Tan Soo Nan: "There are enough real life cases overseas of major lottery winners losing all their winnings and ending up broke and depressed because they did not have proper financial advice on how to manage their wealth."

What about those of us who lost all our money betting on Toto and ended up broke and depressed because we didn't get proper financial advice on how to manage our lack of wealth?

We're so desperate and self-deluded that we'll blow whatever cash we have left on next year's Hongbao draw too.

I'm changing the date on my resignation letter to February 2011.

Get the hookers and booze ready.

- Published in The New Paper on 28 Feb 2010

Hi Mr. Ong,

Reading papers these days are so predictable, they are written to look "good" and favorable.

I am so delighted to read your article and my respect for you for writing it. Before you, I have the following questions which are debated among our group of 'free thinking' people:

1) How on earth is our Toto so easy to win, almost like every weeks!

2) Isn't it true, to win a Jackpot is like 1.1 million of a chance to do how come we do not get to see a 'snowball' result like other nations with winning hitting more than 200 million.

3) Who are the true winners, shouldn't they be featured in the Straits Times.... we understand it is not being done for security reasons - what a bull!

4) Incredibly, why are there so many winners, I have yet to see a sole winner of a 10 million Jackpot.... WHY?

Spreading the wealth? Who decide this? There are so many talks on this. The real truth is out at the Singapore Pool.

There are probably more points to highlight, but the above are the disturbing ones.

It so utterly ridiculous for this bloody SP CEO to think that Jackpot winners need help, his brain must be the size of a frog to even made a press statement. Firstly, a million or two is nothing to go nuts financially, not like you are winning $200 million.

Secondly, he thinks Singaporeans are stupid. With his over a million salary, you could be a better CEO with the article you wrote.

Hey, this bloody CEO should be more on the ground and speaks to the non-winners, my wife included..... the kind of money they spend to achieve their dreams. How these peoples' life are so affected, some very badly.

Like my wife made a fuss over an Adidas T-Shirt worth 45 which my son wish to purchase... my affected son ask his Mum, how much do you spend on Toto every week? I guess easily at least a $100 each week. Well, don't you think, this is an
imperative issue this bloody CEO should talk to my son?

Wake up Singapore, Mr. Ong, you did the best thing today... the truth we can relate. I see you as my hero to stand up for the unfortunate majority.

Me too, if I ever strike a Jackpot, you are on the top of my list to spend our time with hookers and booze!

Great stuff, I look forward to read more of your article in the future.

My sincere thanks and also on the behalf of those who miss your article, our respect for you as a 'stand up guy' we rarely see these day.

Kind regards

PS I seldom write email, I gave myself a pat for writing this one.