No April Fool's joke: After 3 years, Burger King finally makes Chocolate Whopper a reality

No one likes to be played for a fool.

Yet, it remains an annual tradition that otherwise veracious people and organisations would lie in the name of April Fool’s.

And it is your own fault for being dumb enough to fall victim to a joke.

It is probably the only time of year when victim-blaming is acceptable and practically a sport. It is all fun and games until it happens to you.

You think you are too smart to be fooled? Me too.

Beware the end of March as the first of April is nigh.

So I started questioning everything I read and even reality itself.

A giant ship blocked the Suez Canal, disrupting 12 per cent of world trade?

Yeah, sure. Was the Easter Bunny on board too?

But a giant ship did block the canal for six days and someone should search the decks for a bow-tied hare with a basket of chocolate eggs.



Speaking of sweet treats, when Durex announced three new condom flavours called Mao Shan Wang, Singapore Chendol and Botak Coconut Sherbet, I knew immediately it was a lie.

Come on, it was so obvious. You put a condom on your penis during sex to prevent pregnancy or disease transmission.

You do not eat it. Why would it come in different flavours?

I was proven right when Durex confirmed that it was a “prank” on April Fool’s Day and said that the three aforementioned flavours were actually the new flavours of Udders ice cream.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Durex Singapore (@durexsingapore)

I thought that was another joke, but Durex added the hashtag #NotAJoke.

Why would Udders partner with Durex to promote its new flavours?

Now when I think of Udders ice cream, I imagine it tastes like rubber.

I have a question for you – which would you prefer, rubbery ice cream or a chocolate burger?

The rubbery ice cream is hypothetical, but the chocolate burger is not.

At first, I assumed it was another April Fool’s joke when last week, Burger King launched its Chocolate Whopper, described as a “beef patty topped with fresh juicy tomatoes and onion, dressed with a layer of rich chocolate sauce swirly richness and cushioned between the King’s signature sesame drench buns”.

After all, the restaurant chain had teased the Chocolate Whopper exactly three years ago, but that turned out to be a hoax, cheating my feelings.



Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I must really want the Chocolate Whopper.

So it shook me to learn that like Pizza Hut’s alleged-crime-against-nature Bubble Tea Blossom Pizza, the Chocolate Whopper is for real.

It seems the joke this time is that it’s not a joke. Well played, Burger King, well played.

We ain’t joking this time! Get your hands on the King’s new sweet and savoury treats this April Fool’s. Available until 15 April.

Posted by Burger King Singapore on Thursday, April 1, 2021

Like a diabetic moth to a sugary flame, I was drawn to the brown abomination.

Surprisingly, the Chocolate Whopper is not as disgusting as it may look and sound. My only complaint is that I could have used more chocolate sauce and less onion. Those two ingredients kind of clashed.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by SM Ong (@sm_ong)

To complete the meal, BK is also offering nuggets with chocolate sauce for dipping plus fries in a chocolate sundae for, ummm... dessert?

All that chocolate! And just in time for Easter too.

Shiok!

Which, by the way, is now officially part of the German language.

Last Thursday, German Ambassador to Singapore Norbert Riedel tweeted: “Shiok, the #Singlish word to express a delightful experience such as eating delicious food, has made it into the Duden, the official dictionary of the German language.”

+++ Breaking news +++ ‚Shiok', the #Singlish word to express a delightful experience such as eating delicious food has made it into the ‚Duden', the official dictionary of the German language.😉(tb) @Dudenverlag @gweezilla @Vossstrasse17 pic.twitter.com/gBkCaN366e

— Ambassador Norbert Riedel (@GermanyinSGP) April 1, 2021

The German embassy even posted a video online showing supposed German individuals saying “shiok” while eating.

So not only has Singlish been recognised by Oxford dictionary, but also... wait a minute.

What was last Thursday’s date?

Dammit!

Et tu, Germany?

- Published in The New Paper, 5 April 2021


EARLIER: April drool: Flame-grilled Chocolate Whopper is mouth-watering fake news

Durian flavour? Chendol? Indomie? Condoms with local flavours are suddenly a thing

First, it was Durex.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Durex Singapore (@durexsingapore)

April Fool's joke? Probably, since Durex said the new condoms will be "launching in just 7 days" from 25 March, which is 1 April.

But then another condom brand, Fiesta, which I've never heard of, also got into the act with another popular local flavour.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Fiesta Condoms Indonesia (@fiestacondoms)

Yes, Indomie condoms.

For when you want it quick.

Why stop there?

What about mala condoms? Salted egg yolk condoms? Nasi lemak condoms? Chilli crab condoms?

I guess we can skip the dinner part of a date now since you can make a meal out of the prophylactic now.

Apparently, durian condoms were actually a thing in Malaysia a few years ago.

I feel like a fool for believing Joey Mendoza didn't copy Count On Me, Singapore

Dear Mr Joey Mendoza,

The Internet, right?

Here you are, living your life and making YouTube videos of your jaunty performances of Row Your Boat and other ditties, and out of the blue, some foreign government asks you to “substantiate” your claim that you wrote some song in 1983.

We are aware that a song titled “We Can Achieve” that bears striking similarity in tune and lyrics to our national song...

Posted by Ministry of Culture, Community and Youth - MCCY on Wednesday, March 17, 2021

Who can substantiate anything they did almost 40 years ago?

The only thing I did then that I can substantiate is that I passed my O-level Chinese even though nobody can believe I did.

Fortunately, my O-level cert has not been destroyed in a flood, I mean, ponding.

Unlike all your evidence, which was supposedly lost in the 2005 Mumbai floods.

So you caved.

Mr Joey Mendoza had earlier claimed that he wrote “We Can Achieve”, a song that is practically identical to “Count on...

Posted by Ministry of Culture, Community and Youth - MCCY on Saturday, March 20, 2021

What happened to the living proof that is the 250 orphans you taught the song to in 1983? Floods again?

I believed you.

I thought maybe it really was a coincidence that in 1986, some ad agency paid to write a song by the Singapore Government more than 3,000km away came up with almost exactly the same melody and lyrics as your song, We Can Achieve.



You know what they say, a monkey hitting random keys on a typewriter for an infinite amount of time will eventually bang out the complete works of Shakespeare and, apparently, also the words to Count On Me, Singapore.

I didn’t agree with my fellow Singaporeans who accused you of copying one of our beloved national songs composed by a Canadian working for an American company.

It’s like accusing Weird Al Yankovic of copying Michael Jackson.

All you needed were a funny moustache and a Hawaiian shirt, and people would have just thought you were doing a parody. You know, since you already have Weird Al’s hair.

As evidence of your plagiarism, it was highlighted that in the chorus of We Can Achieve, the line “Count on me, India” does not rhyme with “Count on me to give my best and more” whereas “Count on me, Singapore” does.

What nonsense.

I would point out that in the verse of both versions, “We’re going to build a better life for you and me” does not rhyme exactly with “We can achieve, we can achieve” either.

So the lack of rhyme is hardly proof of song theft.

Also, if you are going to steal one of our National Day songs, couldn’t you have stolen a better one, like the ever popular Home written by Dick Lee?



It’s like robbing an Apple store and taking an actual apple.

Or if you were more cunning, you could have cribbed from a National Day song that Singaporeans don’t remember, such as, um… I can’t remember any. But trust me, there are so many.



Let’s just say any National Day song that is not Home and does not have “Singapore” in the title.

Then people might not have noticed your plagiarism.

But Count On Me, Singapore is way too obvious.

I feel like such a fool now for believing you. You are not my sunshine.

Ironically, thanks to your version and the controversy it created, the status of the song has been elevated somewhat, at least, in my mind.



I have always thought that it’s a lame nationalistic jingle forced down Singaporeans’ throats by our Government, but now that I have learnt that people in your country are singing it too (albeit as a children’s song), maybe it’s not so wretched after all.



It's like someone tryinng to steal your ugly girlfriend and suddenly she's the most beautiful woman in the world.

As our Ministry of Culture, Community and Youth said, imitation is the best form of flattery.

That’s what you’ve achieved with We Can Achieve.

So at least something positive came out of your copyright infringement.

Hey, did you write Row Your Boat too?

- Published in The New Paper, 22 March 2021

Dear Mr Ong

I like the way you hammered J Mendoza in today's thenewpaper. Hope he get to read it.

It would have been forgivable, if he defended his action as doing a cover version, rather than claiming to be the originator. This is worse than the similarity between George Harrison's "My Sweet Lord" and The Chiffons' "He's So Fine".

Lucky he did not touch our Majulah Singapore or else the composer's spirit would have haunted him.

This episode shows this little red dot cannot be bullied easily. But we are also forgivable, if one is willing to admit and apologise for wrongdoing towards us. Kudo to our MCCY for not pursuing the matter further thus maintaining the good relationship we have with India. It is moment like this that make me proud to be a true blue Singaporean.

With warmest regards