Sunday, 28 September 2008
Go Dutch - unless it's made in China
It is the biggest decision I ever have to make. It's the difference between life and death. More importantly, it's about saving 60 cents.
There is a pack of Dutch Lady chocolate milk left in my fridge and I have to decide whether to drink it or throw it away.
Dutch Lady is of course one of the brand names affected by China's tainted milk product scandal.
China-made Dutch Lady strawberry, banana and honeydew-flavoured milk in plastic bottles were found to contain melamine - a chemical that has been blamed for several infant deaths in the 2008 Olympics host country.
After getting over losing my innocence upon learning that Dutch Lady products aren't manufactured anywhere near windmills and dykes (the kind that prevent flooding, not Ellen and her bride), I'm relieved that my Dutch Lady milk, bought weeks before I even heard of a chemical called melamine, is not fruit-flavoured, bottled or made in China.
Judging by the Malay words printed on the pack (which I can't read), I believe the milk is from Malaysia, which for all its political wackiness, is harmless compared to the indigestion China has been inflicted onto the world's consumers.
My two children have already consumed five packs of the six-pack and they have not suffered any ill effects - yet.
But my wife isn't taking any chances. As long as it says Dutch Lady, she wants to get rid of it. I won't let her. The expiry date is in 2009. I don't believe in throwing away good un-expired food.
I paid $3.65 for the six-pack at NTUC FairPrice, so each pack costs 60.189 cents. Sixty point one eight nine whole cents! I can buy Lehman Brothers stock with that kind of money.
My wife says she's not letting our kids drink the milk and if I want to drink it, don't go crying to her when I die.
So I have a decision to make - death or throw away 60 cents?
I detach the little bendy straw from the pack, unwrap it from its plastic covering and insert it into the foil-covered hole.
I'm now sucking on the straw and drinking the milk, accompanied with an Oreo wafer stick.
Wait a second, didn't I read that Oreo wafer sticks could be tainted as well?
Die! Choke! Spit!
Good thing I didn't terminate my AIA life insurance policy.
If you don't see this column next week, please tell my mother I'm sorry to be such a disappointment to her, but at least I gave her grandchildren.
- Published in The New Paper, 28 September 2008
TRENDING POSTS OF THE WEEK
It’s like 1996 all over again. Only instead of the Macarena , we’re dancing Gangnam Style . Instead of watching the White House get bl...
A durian buffet for $4.50? That’s less than the price of a Mala Burger meal at Burger King. Even though I’m not a durian lover (we’re...
Dear Ashley Garcia , Clothes maketh the man while the lack of clothes can make a woman famous. Sometimes unintentionally. I mean, y...
Did you see the pictures of Ris Low in The New Paper on Wednesday? Those legs! That hair! The peek-a-boo panties! If the pictures wer...
So The Alternative View posted this yesterday: Since my name appears in the post, I feel I need to fact-check it line by line. First ...
Last month, it was reported that Nike would stop supplying to smaller shops like those in Queensway Shopping Centre and Peninsula Plaza. ...
When I learnt that Vernetta Lopez ’s autobiography Memoirs Of A DJ: Life In Progress was published last week, I rushed to the nearest major...
Two years ago, when celebrity radio deejay Glenn Ong revealed that he was dating fellow MediaCorp deejay Jean Danker after splitting fro...
Lately, I've been noticing the recurring use of an unfamiliar word on social media. Aisey. Posted by SMRT Ltd (Feedback) on Wedne...
Toggle has reported that actress Carole Lin has given birth to her first child: Despite being told by a gynaecologist that conceiving at ...