Sunday, 28 September 2008
Go Dutch - unless it's made in China
It is the biggest decision I ever have to make. It's the difference between life and death. More importantly, it's about saving 60 cents.
There is a pack of Dutch Lady chocolate milk left in my fridge and I have to decide whether to drink it or throw it away.
Dutch Lady is of course one of the brand names affected by China's tainted milk product scandal.
China-made Dutch Lady strawberry, banana and honeydew-flavoured milk in plastic bottles were found to contain melamine - a chemical that has been blamed for several infant deaths in the 2008 Olympics host country.
After getting over losing my innocence upon learning that Dutch Lady products aren't manufactured anywhere near windmills and dykes (the kind that prevent flooding, not Ellen and her bride), I'm relieved that my Dutch Lady milk, bought weeks before I even heard of a chemical called melamine, is not fruit-flavoured, bottled or made in China.
Judging by the Malay words printed on the pack (which I can't read), I believe the milk is from Malaysia, which for all its political wackiness, is harmless compared to the indigestion China has been inflicted onto the world's consumers.
My two children have already consumed five packs of the six-pack and they have not suffered any ill effects - yet.
But my wife isn't taking any chances. As long as it says Dutch Lady, she wants to get rid of it. I won't let her. The expiry date is in 2009. I don't believe in throwing away good un-expired food.
I paid $3.65 for the six-pack at NTUC FairPrice, so each pack costs 60.189 cents. Sixty point one eight nine whole cents! I can buy Lehman Brothers stock with that kind of money.
My wife says she's not letting our kids drink the milk and if I want to drink it, don't go crying to her when I die.
So I have a decision to make - death or throw away 60 cents?
I detach the little bendy straw from the pack, unwrap it from its plastic covering and insert it into the foil-covered hole.
I'm now sucking on the straw and drinking the milk, accompanied with an Oreo wafer stick.
Wait a second, didn't I read that Oreo wafer sticks could be tainted as well?
Die! Choke! Spit!
Good thing I didn't terminate my AIA life insurance policy.
If you don't see this column next week, please tell my mother I'm sorry to be such a disappointment to her, but at least I gave her grandchildren.
- Published in The New Paper, 28 September 2008
TRENDING POSTS OF THE WEEK
I think I killed my father. Since today is Father's Day, I figure this is a good time to mention this. About 16 years ago, my father w...
It’s like 1996 all over again. Only instead of the Macarena , we’re dancing Gangnam Style . Instead of watching the White House get bl...
Dear President Donald Trump and Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un, As Chow Yun Fat once said, welcome to Singapore. But don’t expect to see t...
Last month, my wife posed for pictures with a topless male model at the entrance of Abercrombie & Fitch on Orchard Road. Because he pu...
Lately, I've been noticing the recurring use of an unfamiliar word on social media. Aisey. Posted by SMRT Ltd (Feedback) on Wedne...
Two years ago, when celebrity radio deejay Glenn Ong revealed that he was dating fellow MediaCorp deejay Jean Danker after splitting fro...
Dear producers of Code Of Law , My condolences on your new Channel 5 drama series. As a former TV producer for Channel 5 myself, I sympath...
I suppose you’ve heard the big Joanne Peh news by now. I, too, was caught by surprise like everyone else although in retrospect, I should’...
I first met Darryl David at Gurmit Singh's wedding dinner in 1995. David's date was a woman named Lynette Pang , who was a stag...
It started with this Cyberpioneer Facebook post: What does Military Expert (ME) 1 Clarie Teo enjoy, when she is not busy keeping ship eng...