They grow up so fast: 10 years of Chinese New Year clothes

2005


2006


2007


2008


2009


2010


2011


2012


2013


2014

50 shades of Baey: Run to be with him

This was it.

It was as if all the training was to prepare me for this moment — and I didn’t even realise it.

All the Jurong Lake Runs, the Hello Kitty Run, The Urgent Run for World Toilet Day, the Army Half Marathon — they were just foreplay for the main event on Thursday.

That was the day of my first #runwithBYK.

“Who is BYK?” you may ask.

That’s when I look at you with disgust and ask: “Do I have to explain what a ‘selfie’ is, too?”

If not for this person, many Singaporeans may not have even heard of the word “selfie”, although that may not necessarily be a bad thing.

Just like if not for Miley Cyrus, you may not know what “twerking” is and wish you didn't.

And no, I’m not talking about US selfie queen Kim Kardashian, primarily because her initials are not BYK, although like Kardashian, Singapore’s selfie king Baey Yam Keng is sort of like a reality star himself and not at all camera-shy.

And while Kardashian has a spouse who put her in his music video, Mr Baey has a spouse who put him in her play.

So the Member of Parliament for Tampines GRC not only runs but also walks the boards.

I had written so much about the man without actually meeting him that he was in danger of becoming like Hello Kitty, a disembodied construct that exists solely to provide material for this column.

So when the opportunity came to rectify this situation, I leapt at it. Or rather, I took the MRT train to Raffles Place at it.

It all started on Wednesday with a post by Mr Baey on Instagram with the hashtag #runwithBYK and an open invitation to join him in his “first ever evening run at Marina Bay tomorrow”.

A photo posted by Baey Yam Keng (@baeyyamkeng) on Feb 3, 2015 at 9:05pm PST

His previous runs were either in the morning or in Tampines.

I couldn't join him for the morning runs because I don't usually get out of bed until lunch time.

And because I live in Choa Chu Kang, I avoid going to the eastern part of Singapore since the people there tend to look down on us “westerners” as evidenced by the West Sucks Story Tumblr.

Also, Tampines is very far.

But Thursday evening at Marina Bay was the perfect time and place.

Next, I had to decide what to wear.

My 2014 TNP Big Walk tee had shrunk in the wrong places and my ST Run At The Hub tee makes me look fat.

In the end, I settled on a tight bluish grey Renoma tee which shows off my moobs.

Then I had another problem.

The Instagram said to meet at the Raffles statue by the river, but I Googled it and found there were two Raffles statues in the area.

As if my life wasn’t already difficult enough. Damn you, Sir Stamford, if you ruin this day for me.

So I took a big chance and went to the statue nearest the river.



I was 10 minutes early and saw another guy in running gear hanging around the statue. Was he here for the #runwithBYK too?

That meant I wouldn’t have Mr Baey to myself. My heart sank.

Nursing my disappointment, I walked as far away as I could from the interloper while keeping the statue in sight.

A few minutes later, I saw Mr Baey talking to my new enemy and immediately went to make my presence known.

As I laid eyes on the MP's lean, tanned body in a black Adidas tank top, I finally saw in the flesh why I once called him the Sexiest Man Alive.

He recognised me and said: “S M Ong.”

I could die now.

Shaking my hand, he said: “You look better in person than in your photos.”

I know, right? Not everyone can be as photogenic as His Selfieness.

Then the most coincidental thing in the universe happened. The other guy (the interloper, my new enemy) recognised me and I recognised him.

We used to work at MediaCorp together. He was a producer-director for Singapore’s groundbreaking sitcom Under One Roof, which I also wrote for. I haven’t seen him in about a decade.

He, too, had never met Mr Baey before and decided to join the #runwithBYK after seeing the post on Instagram.

Who knew #runwithBYK could reunite old acquaintances better than Facebook?

Suddenly, Mr Baey seemed like the third wheel.

But after some quick catching-up, it was time to run.

From the Raffles statue, Mr Baey led us past the Esplanade, over the Helix Bridge, past Gardens By The Bay to the Marina Barrage where we took a break. That was over 3km.

Along the way, we were approaching an intimidating flight of stairs when I whined: “Stairs?”

Mr Baey immediately changed direction and we ran up a gentle slope instead. He is considerate like that.

During the break at Marina Barrage, I explained I was still recovering from a 14km run at MacRitchie Reservoir the previous day, so I wasn’t in the best of shape. I think they believed me.

After we took the all-important selfies to commemorate the occasion, it was time to run back, this time round the other side of the bay past Marina Bay Sands and Clifford Pier.

But I lagged so far behind the other two that at One Fullerton, I completely lost sight of them in the evening rush-hour crowd.

Despite all the Jurong Lake Runs, the Hello Kitty Run, The Urgent Run and the Army Half Marathon, I couldn’t keep up with BYK.

Would I see him again?

I figured if I could find my way back to the Raffles statue, I still had a chance.

As I wandered through the maze of tunnels and bridges, I must have stumbled onto a shortcut because I suddenly see Mr Baey and my ex-colleague crossing the road in front of Victoria Theatre.



The road was so busy, I was worried they would be killed by oncoming traffic. That would certainly affect Mr Baey’s chances for re-election.

But I caught up with them and we made it across the road alive.

Alas, it was time to say goodbye — but not before I took one final selfie with the selfie king.

Who knows if we’ll ever meet again?

We’ll always have Instagram.

Here’s looking at you, BYK.

Valentine’s Day is this week. Should I get him something?

- Published in The New Paper, 8 February 2015

A photo posted by Baey Yam Keng (@baeyyamkeng) on Feb 5, 2015 at 5:01am PST

EARLIER: A Singaporean for Sexiest Man Alive?

What happened to Joanne Peh?

I suppose you’ve heard the big Joanne Peh news by now.

I, too, was caught by surprise like everyone else although in retrospect, I should’ve seen it coming.

I am, of course, talking about the actress leaving the Channel 5 drama series Code Of Law.

What a shocker.

I mean, there was no announcement that Peh was fleeing the local Law & Order rip-off, which she has been the star of since the show’s 2012 debut.



Then last week, on the fourth episode of the third season, she wasn't there any more. I found out about it on Twitter.

sian really no more joanne peh in code of law :(
— B-R-Y-A-N❄ (@bryanis2awesome) January 28, 2015

Sure, Keagan Kang, the other star of Code Of Law, is still on the show and is even prettier than Peh, but he’s no Mrs Qi Yuwu.

He’s more like Bobby Tonelli Light.

So what happened to Peh?

Was she killed off? Is she coming back?

Did I miss something in the previous episode?

Oh, yah, I did because I don’t watch Code Of Law at all.

Or Channel 5.

Or TV.

But I do watch YouTube.

So Channel 5 has helpfully uploaded on YouTube the Code Of Law episode that Peh last appeared in just so I can find out what happened to her.



No other full episode was uploaded on YouTube. Just that one.

Why? Because Channel 5 knows that there are many people like me who want to know what the hell happened to Peh and can’t be bothered to go to XinMSN where you can stream all the recent episodes for free.

The good thing about YouTube is that with a click of the mouse, you can easily forgo the 45 minutes of American-accented melodrama and skip to the American-accented melodrama at the end where Peh’s character explains why she’s abandoning ship.

The scene starts with Kang as lawyer Jacob Fernandez walking in on Peh packing her stuff and, speaking for all the viewers, he asks her: “So you’re really leaving?”

And she replies: “No, Mr Fernandez, I just really like putting files in boxes.”

LOL! Someone should cast Peh in the next Ghostbusters movie.



Then she added: “Actually, Sanjay would like to call it an indefinite leave of absence.”

I assume Sanjay is their boss at the law firm. Like I said, I don’t watch the show.

So they didn’t kill her off. Peh’s character is going on “an indefinite leave of absence”.

Does that mean she may return?

For the answer to that, I turned to the source for all my Joanne Peh-related information, the Instagram of Jollity Club, “the one and only official Singapore-based fanclub for Joanne Peh”.

The club posted on Jan 28: “Please note that Joanne will not be making an appearance in future episodes of Code of Law 3.”

Pls note that Joanne will not be making an appearance in future episodes of Code of Law 3. For those who missed the earlier episodes pls watch it on xinmsn.

A photo posted by JollityClub SG (@jollityclub) on Jan 28, 2015 at 6:42am PST

Oh. So she’s really gone – at least for the season.

I wonder what could’ve caused Peh’s sudden departure from the show.

Perhaps it’s because of her role in the upcoming movie, 1965? Who knows?

I can’t think of anything else? Can you?

Anyhoo, moving on.

Post by Lee Hsien Loong.

Also last week, Laneway Festival became Lay Waste Festival after Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong highlighted the trash left behind by the...

WHY ARE YOU INTERRUPTING ME?

What do you mean Joanne Peh is pregnant?

Didn’t she just marry Qi Yuwu?



They announced her pregnancy last week?

Whoa. That’s big news.

Am I the only person in the whole world who doesn’t know?

This is what happens when I don’t check the Jollity Club Instagram for a couple of days.

Why didn’t you tell me earlier instead of letting me go on and on like a fool about Code Of Law? Who cares about freaking Code Of Law?!

Now I feel so stupid.

Does Bobby Tonelli know?

Do reporters still go to him for quotes every time something happens to Peh?

Once Joanne Peh’s boyfriend, always Joanne Peh’s ex-boyfriend.

When she married Qi last September after breaking up with Tonelli, it was as if to prove how wrong I was to suggest in an earlier column that her relationship with Qi wasn’t real.

I admitted I was wrong in another column and pleaded for them to stop rubbing it in my face.

And here they are, rubbing it in my face again.

I wish I could go on an indefinite leave of absence from them – and all celebrity pregnancies.

Didn’t we just go through one last year with Fann Wong?



Wong was 43 when she had her first child. Peh is only 31.

What’s the rush, girl? Does she want the SG50 Baby Jubilee Gift so badly?

And the kid will be born in the year of the goat. That’s baaaaaa-d.

What about Code Of Law? Will she be back from her “indefinite leave of absence” after giving birth?

Or will she star in a new local rip-off of Modern Family instead?

You know, since she would have a little family of her own then and her husband is rumoured to be gay. You can’t get any more “modern” than that.

I hope Channel 5 will upload the new show on YouTube.

Otherwise, I’ll never see it.

- Published in The New Paper, 1 February 2015

EARLIER:

Joanne Peh & Qi Yuwu expecting their first child: Twitter reacts

Goodbye, Boanne: Did Joanne Peh marry Qi Yuwu just to spite me?

Here are a few choice tweets about the Joanne Peh-Qi Yuwu wedding

Joanne Peh & Qi Yuwu: Is she really going out with him?