<Tightened Safe Management Measures> It has been nearly a month since we entered Phase 3. We had anticipated then that...
Posted by Lawrence Wong on Friday, January 22, 2021
Dear Mr Lawrence Wong,
Remember me?
We met when you were campaigning in Yew Tee Square during last year’s election.
I was the joker who asked you whether you were going to cry in Parliament again.
You said no.
I didn’t get the chance to thank you for not having me arrested for harassment.
Good times.
Don’t worry. I’m not writing to you about your Ministry of Education’s response to a transgender student’s claim that the ministry interfered with the student’s hormonal therapy.
Criticism against the Ministry of Education (MOE) has continued to mount over the past week after a transgender student...
Posted by The Independent Singapore on Thursday, January 21, 2021
I’m writing to you about something way less controversial.
I want you to cancel Chinese New Year.
But there’s a good reason for it and not just because I hate giving out hongbao.
As you may be aware, there’s a pandemic going on.
And Chinese New Year is a potential superspreader event.
Scratch that. Chinese New Year is a super-duper mega superspreader event.
You know why? Because Singapore has a lot of Chinese people. I mean, a lot – even more than all the non-Chinese people living here combined.
And most of these Chinese people are really into Chinese New Year since, you know, it’s named after us.
Remember last year, after Singapore had one confirmed case of the “Wuhan virus”, we still carried on with Chinese New Year festivities like everything was normal? No masks!
How did that turn out?
We have had almost 60,000 cases and 29 deaths since then.
Businesses shut down. People lost jobs. The Black Widow movie was delayed.
Even though we lohei-ed like we did every year, it clearly didn’t work. Why keep doing it?
Don’t you wish you could go back in time and start the circuit breaker before last Chinese New Year? How many cases could have been prevented?
On Friday, you announced that each household will be limited to eight visitors per day starting tomorrow, well ahead of Chinese New Year on Feb 12.
Did you decide on eight because it’s a lucky number? How ox-picious of you!
But in light of the numerous breaches of safety measures from the start, it’s a given that covidiots will break the rules.
Some are already joking about gathering on the MRT where there’s apparently no limit to the number of people.
With the worrying increase of community cases recently, you warned of growing complacency and said:
“For every rule we set, please do not try and optimise your maximum gain around the rule as though this is something that you could, you know, gain some additional benefit out of.”
But you know people are gonna.
You said there would be random spot checks, but how would the checkers know whether the eight visitors in the afternoon are the same from the eight visitors earlier in the day or later at night?
Will the checkers monitor households for 24 hours?
Or will you just access everyone’s TraceTogether data?
At best, you can catch people breaking the rules only after the fact. By then, the damage would have been done.
A post-Chinese New Year coronavirus spike is almost inevitable.
And that’s why you should just cancel Chinese New Year.
That is, no visiting allowed at all. It would be so much easier to enforce. No counting required. At any time of the day, zero visitors per household.
Neighbours would snitch on each other. And knowing your neighbour would snitch on you, you’d be afraid to sneak in any visitors. Ownself check ownself.
Drastic times call for drastic measures.
Yes, I understand that many will not accept the cancellation of Chinese New Year, but I suspect some may actually be relieved.
No more annoying questions from relatives you see once a year about when you’re going to get married or have children. (I’m married with kids, so I’m not talking about myself.)
You can save money on new clothes and hongbao. You don’t have to stock up on snacks for guests. Maybe just for yourself.
It could be the most stress-free Chinese New Year ever.
All this plus preventing the spread of a deadly virus? It’s win-win!
I mean, how could you not cancel Chinese New Year?
And the great thing is that even if you cancel it, there’ll be another one next year.
The annoying relatives will probably still be there too.
As co-chair of the Covid-19 task force, you know what to do.
I await your announcement at the next virtual press conference, which will be soon, I hope.
We all want the pandemic to be over as quickly as possible.
We don’t want it to end with tears in Parliament again, do you?
- Published in The New Paper, 25 January 2021
Hi
Hands n legs up to support it. Drastic times need drastic measure.....well said, fully support it. Strictly no home visiting.
Thanks u. Have a blessed day
Zita
There’s no need to resort to extreme measures such as canceling Chinese New Year. We are not in a circuit breaker phase. We are in Phase 3, get it? As long as most of us are going to stick to the rule of 8 per household per day, we will get by CNY without your silly suggestion.
That rule of 8 has nothing to do with ox-spicious year either. Your reasons are too personal and crap. You don’t like to meet relatives and give out red packets? That’s your problem. Just stay at home.
No one is going to meet up in the MRT stations for a gathering except you, thank you very much. And there’s no need to mention about that lgbt issue; its irrelevant.
Write better next time.
Joyce
You are either stupid or poor in English. You can’t cancel tradition and culture. You can ask to cancel official celebration of Chinese tradition . That will have to apply to all the other cultures.
Sent from my iPhone
I thoroughly enjoyed your letter to Lawrence Wong today.
It is witty, humorous and very naughty laced with sarcasm.
Not everyone has such a keen sense of humour and a sharp mind.
And many people can't grasp the joke. Cheers mate.
Lawrence
You talked rubbish
Since when you become a philosopher.
Chinese New Year is an important day for all Chinese people in the world. Unless you have forgotten your. It's no point mocking the minister. If you think you are so fantastical clever go and teach the USA how to control the virus.
No use to so boisterous and sarcastic.
Your page are not humorous.
Thank you
Wanted to really give you a piece of my mind in your writing till I noticed it was filed under humour...
Next time don't like that ok?
Haha
UPDATE: Cancel Chinese New Year? Readers write in: ‘Cancel your own Chinese’
