Monday 28 August 2017

Sugar! Less, please (Apologies to Maroon 5)

Sugar was a major topic in Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong’s recent National Day Rally speech.

Sugar is also the title of the song I wrote in response to his speech.

Just as Taylor Swift has given songwriting credit for her new song Look What You Made Me Do to members of the group Right Said Fred of I’m Too Sexy fame, I too must give credit to Maroon 5 because I basically used the tune from their song, Sugar.

Nobody wants to get sued like Robin Thicke.

Here are the lyrics to my song:

I’m hungry, PM, what did you say?
I need to switch to brown rice
Must I today?
White rice taste better, but high GI
Don’t want no diabetes
I guess I’ll try

I don’t wanna be buying soft drinks
I just wanna do more brisk walking
But it’s killing me to exercise
(No chendol)
’Cause I really don’t care how it tastes
I just wanna be watching my waist
So I gotta eat more brown rice

Less, please
Just 1 per cent for my bubble tea
I’m obese, I could lose
Little weight, more than a few kgs
Yeah, you gave me a tracker
Count the steps I take
Need to get 10,000 — in a day
Less, please
PM says it may cause diabetes

My broken diet, I couldn’t fix
I just kept eating, eating
I have the pics
When I eat healthy
I don’t feel full
Pizza’s the one thing, one thing
That always rules

I don’t wanna be needing more food
I just wanna be in a good mood
And it’s killing me to abstain
(More durian)
’Cause I really don’t care if I’m fat
I just wanna have no regrets
So I’m hitting the buffet again

Less, please
“Siu dai” is how I order my teh c
More water, I should drink
Little bland, a little too boring
Yeah, I tried the diet drinks
No calories
Artificial sweetness, not for me
Less, please
PM says it may cause diabetes

I want that roti john
I want that Hokkien mee
Don’t let nobody makan
Unless that somebody’s me
I gotta tell PM
There ain’t no other way
’Cause, man, I’m craving for
sambal barbecue stingray

I’m still hungry for some rice
Don’t have to be all white
Mix in some of that brown shit
No more of that… sugar!
Less, please
I still wanna try to go sugar-free
Even if, no Big Gulp
It’s so hard to avoid corn syrup
Yeah, the doctor just told me
My blood pressure’s high
Need to cut down on salt — in my diet
Now salt too
Think I might as well just stop eating food

- Published in The New Paper, 28 August 2017