Since Mas Selamat was captured, Singapore has been in need of a new villain.
Hello, Ris Low!
Thanks to her highly quotable misspoken English to her recently revealed rap sheet, she couldn't be any more infamous now if wanted posters of her adorned every bus stop, MRT station and bikini (or "bigini") shop on the island.
But to her credit, Miss Low has accomplished something no other Miss Singapore World has managed to do - actually make us care who Miss Singapore World is.
For far too long, it has been the other Miss Singapore pageant - Miss Singapore Universe - that has been hogging the spotlight.
Like when we bitched about how the national costume sucked, that was for Miss Singapore Universe, not World.
And it's not because "universe" is bigger than "world" since I don't recall ever seeing a Miss Mars or Miss Alpha Centauri in the Miss Universe swimsuit competition and that is not something I'm likely to forget.
It's because the one that was shown on TV annually until last year was Miss Singapore Universe, not World.
It's because former nominated Member of Parliament Eunice Olsen was Miss Singapore Universe, not World, in 2000.
And oh, Donald Trump owns Miss Universe, not World.
And even when I produced an episode of Phua Chu Kang Pte Ltd a couple of years ago where PCK's nemesis Frankie Foo married an ex-beauty queen, the character was a former Miss Singapore Universe, not World.
On top of that, she was played by a real-life former Miss Singapore Universe, not World, Cheryl Tay, who won the crown in 2005.
Unlike Miss Low, Cheryl was a veterinarian who was more likely to save a leopard than wear its prints. But that was not what impressed me most about Cheryl.
There was a scene in the episode where I wanted Frankie, played by Lim Kay Siu, to hug Cheryl and grab her buttocks. It wasn't in the script. I just wanted to see it.
But I had a problem: How do I ask a former Miss Singapore Universe, not World, to let her buttocks be grabbed on national TV?
Cheryl wasn't an actor by profession, unlike Kay Siu, a dedicated professional actor whom I'm sure was happy to grab anyone's buttocks - or let his buttocks be grabbed - as long as it was "artistic".
In my infinite wisdom, I decided to ask an assistant director to ask Cheryl. To everyone's surprise and delight, she agreed to do it.
Unfortunately, even though we shot it, the MediaCorp censor ordered the derrière-fondling edited out because Frankie looked like he was enjoying it way too much by prime-time TV standards.
If I was producing that episode today, Miss Low would be my first choice for Cheryl's role. The ratings would be huge! Bigger than Singapore Idol's, although that's not saying much nowadays.
I would change the character to a former Miss Singapore World, not Universe. I would even throw in a "boomz" or two in the dialogue.
But would Miss Low let Frankie Foo grab her buttocks? Sadly, we may never know.
Hmmm, I wonder if Mas Selamat would like to guest star. Would he let Frankie Foo, uh ...
- Published in The New Paper, 27 September 2009
TRENDING POSTS OF THE WEEK
It started with this Cyberpioneer Facebook post: What does Military Expert (ME) 1 Clarie Teo enjoy, when she is not busy keeping ship eng...
Thanks to recent taken-out-of-context comments by a former Prime Minister who shall remain unnamed, ministers' pay has been a hot topic...
It has been a year since Clarie Teo left the navy with this Instagram post: The day has finally arrived, not everyone is meant to set fo...
Do you have enough of Navy chio bu ME1 Clarie Teo? Posted by Must Be Singapore on Tuesday, April 7, 2015 Meet the star of Mindef's ne...
I first met Darryl David at Gurmit Singh's wedding dinner in 1995. David's date was a woman named Lynette Pang , who was a stag...
It's back! The last time I wrote about the rendang burger death match was five years ago when McDonald's pulled off an upset vi...
It’s like 1996 all over again. Only instead of the Macarena , we’re dancing Gangnam Style . Instead of watching the White House get bl...
When I learnt that Vernetta Lopez ’s autobiography Memoirs Of A DJ: Life In Progress was published last week, I rushed to the nearest major...
Zoe Tay said she was “just sexy”, and that men love her and women hate her. I can’t speak for women, but as a man, I don’t exactly love...
Last month, it was reported that Nike would stop supplying to smaller shops like those in Queensway Shopping Centre and Peninsula Plaza. ...