Dear Yellow Pages,
In the midst of an eventful week that began with the apparent demise of the universe’s most hated man (Loki in the movie Thor and yes, I saw the post-credits scene) and culminated with a not-too-surprising voting result (Jacob Lusk is out of American Idol), I found a few unexpected things left outside my door apart from the usual flyers from caterers, pizza companies and grinning property agents.
One was the new 2011 Ikea Bedroom catalogue, which was rather timely.
I had just seen the movie Thor, which got me in the mood for all things Scandinavian.
As I’m typing this, I’m listening to Ace Of Base, digesting Swedish meatballs and putting off reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.
Another thing I found outside my door was something called “A Special Petir GE 2011 Pullout” with the People’s Action Party logo on the cover.
Being the savvy social pundit that I am, I suspect it had something to do with the election (but please don't boycott me if I'm wrong).
Also going immediately into the recycling bag was the Yellow Pages consumer buying guide 2010/2011, which is the reason I’m writing to you.
I still remember once upon a time when every year, you made me trod out to some out-of-the-way location to collect these massive phone books that carnival strongmen could tear in half to prove their prowess and a truly talented actor could read out loud and make interesting.
Then I realised I hardly ever used these weighty tomes except as a place to put my telephone.
Eventually, I stopped going out of my way to pick them up when I discovered I could simply put my phone on the table.
After that, I managed to carry on quite happily without a giant phone book in my life.
Then in recent years, you started sending your phone books directly to my home and frankly, I now regard them as junk mail. Very thick junk mail.
I believe you've heard of something called the Internet because you have a website at www.yellowpages.com.sg which lets my fingers do the clicking.
As with other junk mail, I'm sure there are some people who will actually find your hard-copy phone directory useful, but I'm not one of them.
I find the pizza flyers more useful.
So please stop sending your phone books to those of us who didn't ask for them.
I thank you on behalf of the earth. I know you're the Yellow Pages, but being green can also be a good thing.
Next on the playlist: Abba, of course.
S M Ong
- Published in The New Paper, 8 May 2011
TRENDING POSTS OF THE WEEK
There comes a time for everyone when you question the point of it all. Why are you doing this? Is this what life is about? For me, tha...
Dear Ashley Garcia , Clothes maketh the man while the lack of clothes can make a woman famous. Sometimes unintentionally. I mean, y...
Okay, I surrender. I admit it. I was wrong. In April last year, I wrote a column called “ So is Joanne Peh really going out with Qi Yuwu? ...
It’s like 1996 all over again. Only instead of the Macarena , we’re dancing Gangnam Style . Instead of watching the White House get bl...
A few days ago, my former employer, MediaCorp, announced the surprise resignation of its chief executive officer, Lucas Chow. So what ...
I have a favourite T-shirt. One reason it’s my favourite is that it was given to me many years ago by a friend who has since passed away...
I first met Darryl David at Gurmit Singh's wedding dinner in 1995. David's date was a woman named Lynette Pang , who was a stag...
Two years ago, when celebrity radio deejay Glenn Ong revealed that he was dating fellow MediaCorp deejay Jean Danker after splitting fro...
Lately, I've been noticing the recurring use of an unfamiliar word on social media. Aisey. Posted by SMRT Ltd (Feedback) on Wedne...
Zoe Tay said she was “just sexy”, and that men love her and women hate her. I can’t speak for women, but as a man, I don’t exactly love...